A post about a month ago got me to crystallizing a vague question I have. Unlike the philosophy in the thread, I do not want a "free" life. I want a wife, kids, dogs, etc. But everything has a price. I often look at marriage as a patently ridiculous idea. How can two people possibly agree on raising kids, money, religion, etc. etc. enough to not be at each others throats. Yet somehow most of us manage to do it.

For me it seems there is a cycle we go thru. Things go along fairly smooth, then something comes up, words are said, etc. etc. At some point all is forgiven and the cycle starts over again as life's tensions build up. It seems to me that sex is a part of the forgive and forget step to move onto the next building of tensions.

While I realize in here that not everybody is a eunuch and some eunuchs are reasonablty active, I am kind of curious how life works for those with a low/non sex drive. Do the tensions in life still build? How do you release them so the relationship can continue?

I hope I have explained my question clearly enough.

Arab Nights (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:13 pm A post about a month ago got me to crystallizing a vague question I have. Unlike the philosophy in the thread, I do not want a "free" life. I want a wife, kids, dogs, etc. But everything has a price. I often look at marriage as a patently ridiculous idea. How can two people possibly agree on raising kids, money, religion, etc. etc. enough to not be at each others throats. Yet somehow most of us manage to do it.

For me it seems there is a cycle we go thru. Things go along fairly smooth, then something comes up, words are said, etc. etc. At some point all is forgiven and the cycle starts over again as life's tensions build up. It seems to me that sex is a part of the forgive and forget step to move onto the next building of tensions.

While I realize in here that not everybody is a eunuch and some eunuchs are reasonablty active, I am kind of curious how life works for those with a low/non sex drive. Do the tensions in life still build? How do you release them so the relationship can continue?

I hope I have explained my question clearly enough.

We are at the age where both of us have now experienced our own "Menopause" Mine due to failure then orchiectomy and my wife the old fashioned way. Let me just say its ROUGH. I now see why so many relationships fail during this time. Emotions turn to anger and there is no "make up sex" to smooth things over. Going on HRT helped a lot. Sex is not everything of course but people should accept that it IS a factor that can be of great help.

I and my partner haven't had sex for quite a few years already (about 6 yrs) out of a relationship of 17 yrs. But we do stay very intimate, often sleep in each other's arms. We don't feel much change in tensions.

I am not one of the eunuchs, but I do have low testosterone. As a result, I don't have any desire to go through this "cycle" and get involved in a marriage.

You are right, men and women can't seem to live well together and I believe being in close proximity to one another for too long does result in complications or arguments.

My ideal relationship involves the man and the woman living in their own separate houses and getting together to enjoy mutually enjoyable recreation together. Then when you are tired of one another, retreat to your individual domeciles, or get involved in the hobbies and recreation that you don't enjoy together.

I have been married for more than 40 years. There are many ways to cope with marriage. In my own case, I had a period where I could not get or maintain an erection. Of coarse the usual guilt and frustrations ensued. My wife was very understanding and after the usual viagra and testosterone shots failed to solve our problem I finally gave up and resigned to my fate. I became very docile and my moods quieted down. The testosterone shots left me very uncomfortable and irritable. I welcomed not using them. We started getting along very well. It was like we were on the same wavelength. I also started experiencing breast growth, which I became fanicated with. On researching gyno websites I became aware that I could go no HRT to speed up the changes. My wife was not aware that I had started HRT. She however liked my reaction to my body changes. She even mentioned to me that I needed a bra. To which I timidly agreed. Keep in mind that I had lost my sex drive and could not get any sort of erection. The next thing that happened was the introduction of panties. We were very affectionate to each other. The bottom line is that she was tired of me using her for my sexual satisfaction. She chemically castrated me without my knowledge. Once I learned what had happened I became aware that in our circle of friends, I was #3 and my wifes brother in law looks like #4. The reason for this revelation is that changes don't always mean they are bad.

When I told my wife that I have a fantasy of beeing castrated my wife encouraged me to this. I found a way that my wife has her orgasm without using the penis. This way we have been using now for some years. Since some weeks I am on Androcur. My wife likes it so far. I wonder how relations to men change. While my wife knows it I fear that anybody else knows it.

Why not give her roofies too? Giving anyone a drug/medication without their knowledge is illegal, dangerous, and a terrible violation of someone else's body.

When she goes to her Doctor she won't be giving all the information about medications she is on. If she gets sick, she won't be able to tell them she is being dosed with testosterone.

Just an ugly selfish thing to do to her.

Huh.

We don't seem to have any of those problems. We get along better now than we did when we were in our 20's.

No kids. Just grandkids. We can have them over but we don't have to keep them.

We are not as often as we used to be, but it is just as good...

Reading each others mind sometimes comes into play. No urgency, just intimacy.

...don't need viagra, CeeAlice, or any of that stuff...

...and I never get tired of her "using me" for sex... wouldn't dream of reducing her sex drive... but maybe... just dream... of increasing it?... I mean.. just a little bit...not much... also have retro-dreams... like when I weighed #165 and she weighed #105... then we wouldn't have to turn off the lights... but maybe we would if we did lose the weight... we might both look like Shar-Pei's (http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images12/sh ... iausia.JPG)