Rather than ask a bunch of questions I shall just ask:

if you have ever engaged in chemical castration, tell us your story.

Stuff like:

When did you start, stop, re-start, re-stop.

Are you on ChemCast now.

What have you liked and not liked about ChemCast.

Why is Chemical Castration better/worse than your normal T, (or HRT).

And whatever else you want to share.

Your experience may be unique, different, or similar to one or more people.

People who are pondering Chemical Castration may find your comments useful as they ponder what to do.

It took me a lot of hunting through the EA to find out about the pros and cons, positives and negatives of chemical castration. Everybody's story is just scattered all over the place. Maybe this Thread can live on and be of use to those who may be in need of a consolidated point of information.

It took me a year of browsing and searching through the EA before I finally decided to try chemical castration.

I started, stopped, re-started, re-stopped.

Inbetween I started HRT, and stopped it, re-started it, stopped it.

During the time I was experimenting with HRT and Chemical Castration I was trying to find a level where I would not deprive my body of useful testosterone (for long term health reason), but could keep my sexual drive suppressed. It didn't work

I found that there were more positives of taking Siterone than taking HRT

I found that there were more negatives of taking HRT than taking Siterone.

I found that there were nothing but negatives in taking neither Siterone or HRT.

I'm again taking Siterone and unless I can obtain surgical castration (unlikely) I will be taking it as long as I can.

Long before the internet was around I attempted self-castration.

That didn't work and was a big mistake. Don't do it.

Then later in live I experienced orchitis in both testicles.

It is likely that this infection damaged my testicles ability to produce testosterone; alas it did not completely destroy that function (darn).

There is a lot more to my story that you could have read on my blog, but the blogs seem to have been de-blogged and are no longer accessible.

Anyway, for me, since obtaining surgical castration is very unlikely, Siterone has been the next best thing.......a blessing really. I sure hope my supply line stays open.

The only thing I don't like about Siterone is the cost, and in general I don't like taking drugs. Every drug has lots of potential side effects and this drug really tinkers with your internal hormones. A simple surgical castration would be far preferable.

I've stopped thinking about the negative side effects of not having testosterone in my system. I could not find a low enough level of testosterone that wasn't screwing up my mind. I am now living in balance. I don't need or want sex. OH, what a relief it is.

Amongst the most positive aspects I have become aware of include:

1) My own lack of testosterone has made me very aware of those times when people I know, including some friends, get together socially. Almost invariably even in a social environment there is one guy who wants to be at the top of the pile. Whatever anyone says he's done it better, been there and he's gone out of his way to express his assertiveness.Often during such discussions, other people are unhappy that their viewpoint has been even slightly oppressed and so they work even harder to increase the tempo and prove that they are, at least, as good as the guy holding forth the most.

For someone without T, like me, I just inwardly smile or cringe at such conversations and don't fall for them. I'll enjoy my meal and I'll smile and talk gently with someone intelligent enough not aiming to prove that conversationally that they have the longest cock. Frankly, I couldn't give a toss and when such a social gathering is over I'll feel very relieved to be free of all that over active T and stress.

2) I've been on Androcur for a number of years and one of the early benefits I felt that still continues now is my ability now to be aware that my brain, that my soul, has a space that can view and feel things from beyond the male perspective. As a gay male your life can feel very male, it's not necessarily a bad thing at all. Straight guys get some insight into women even if their perspective is strongly sexually driven, a gay guy won't get those ideas and so the softer, gentler, calmer parts of one's mind can get obscured and lost. A strong sex drive denies any male a free mind. If there is a battle between the brain and the penis, the cock pushes itself to the front of your attention everytime.

3) Once sexual motivation is switched off entirely it is possible to find new territory. It is only there for those that need or seek it. Gaining eunuch calm, which chemical eunuchs gain equally well, creates a space for fresh and free thought about so many preconceived ideas. It can be a liberation but there is a price to pay for everything.

4) The negative side I guess is that one can lose one's sense of humour, be depressed and find it very difficult to laugh. I feel sure that there is a 'happiness' factor within Testosterone that can make you feel easily relaxed in some situations. So although I see T as being unpleasant and something that can make males more agressive, I have to own up and say that life is much harder without that 'happiness sparkle'.

5) Sexual shutdown - the consequence of having switched off balls. Think about it. It's either a personal benefit to be free of erections and ejaculate, or you visit the EA to stimulate both of those. It's very final and I know that I have no orgasmic sexuality left ; it's my wish.

6) Chemically castrated guys are not angels. We still have an interest at times in reading erotic fiction and in enjoying beautiful people. We are not immune to attraction, nor to enjoying photos of attractive people, but one simply never feels any arousal at all in any situation.

7) I had only written one blog entry and in it I described what happened when I stopped taking androcur a couple of years back. I was dealing with strong emotions and needed all my attention when dealing with the consequences of a death in my family, so I came off the drug whilst going through all the hoops of that situation. For several months nothing happened at all, no return of erections, no changes. Then suddenly I developed severe acne all over my back which was not controlled by drugs. I also had some very strong mood swings which arose without warning and frightened me by their intensity.

After all the family issues were resolved I addressed my own. I resumed Androcur again and the mood swings disappeared - eunuchs are more usually calm - and I'm pleased to say that the severe back acne simply disappeared.

8) I was prescribed Androcur and my doctor asks for blood tests from time to time to check that there is no damage occurring to my internal organs - kidneys or liver.

Keeping your doctor or urologist aware of your drug taking is essential. Nullorchris has pointed this out in a very recent post on this board. All drugs have consequences.

My post is not a recommendation; it's just a response and a personal insight into the questions posed above. Sharing thoughts can share insight and that is all one can do.

My year and a half experiment involved three different methods:

1. No additives (HRT or Siterone)

2. Various amounts of HRT (2.5gm 1% Testim or 5gm 1% testim a day)

3. Various amounts of Siterone (300mg/day for a month, reducing it 50mg/day every 2 weeks until down to 50 mg a day for maintenance)

Each was about six months in length.

Never did I use both HRT and Siterone as this would be counterproductive.

As sac_mec so very clearly and illustratively describes there is much more to testosterone (or lack of it) than just sex.

How the mind is functioning; clarity, focus, concentration, drive

How the body feels; strong,weak, agitated, calm

How the emotions are; happy, sad, neutral

Mind, Body, and Emotions are all affected by our body's hormones.

Testosterone is a major hormone, which interacts with other hormones in a chain reaction effect. The amount of it, and of other hormones in our body, is going to have an effect on our mind, body, and emotions.

While HRT gave me the ability to remain sexually active, the unpleasant effects that it had on my mind, body, and emotions made the experience more negative than positive.

Siterone, while greatly suppressing sexual desire and activity, provided me with positive mind, body, and emotional experiences.

On the negative side, use of Siterone to suppress testosterone has resulted in physical weakness and increases the possibility that I may develop osteporosis.

Nobody should seek the unknown by having surgical castration.

I was a skeptic, but I am now a supporter of "Try It, You'll Like It", meaning if your body is able to handle a drug like Siterone or Androcur, and you are obsessed with the desire to eliminate the effects of testosterone, give chemical castration a try for at least six months or a year. I can only refer to the drug manufacturer's statement which says that when you stop using the drug it's effects will cease and your body chemistry will revert back to normal. Some on the EA claim that use of Androcur or Siterone will permanently destroy your gonad

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 20, 2010 4:20 pm s ability to produce testosterone.

In that the drug merely prevents testosterone from being converted into DHT (The "T" that gives men their aggression, sex drive, and makes their hair fall out) I see no evidence that use of Androcur or Siterone will permanently destroy your gonad

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 20, 2010 4:20 pm s ability to produce testosterone.

Production of T may decrease while on one of these drugs but as long as the leydig cell are not damaged and other processes in the complex chain of hormones remains functioning I have found no documented evidence that use of Androcur or Siterone (etc.) will permanently destroy your gonad

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 20, 2010 4:20 pm s ability to produce testosterone

once use of the drug has stopped. It might take awhile for things to ramp up again, maybe. We could use some personal experience input on this.

Have you engaged in chemical castration for a year or more and then stopped the drug (as sac_mec did)? What happened when you stopped using the drug?

For me it would be ideal if after a year or two I could stop taking the drug, save money, and be at a castrate level of testosterone. I suspect it doesn't work that way.

My natural T level is below normal because of the effects of orchitis and an early life attempt of self-castration. But even my below normal T level was unliveable to me. Long term experiments with both HRT and Siterone have shown me, first hand, that life is MUCH better being at near castrate level. I have regained control of mind, body, emotions (and spirit). Prior to this testosterone was in control.

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 20, 2010 4:08 pm Rather than ask a bunch of questions I shall just ask:

if you have ever engaged in chemical castration, tell us your story.

Stuff like:

When did you start, stop, re-start, re-stop.

Are you on ChemCast now.

What have you liked and not liked about ChemCast.

Why is Chemical Castration better/worse than your normal T, (or HRT).

And whatever else you want to share.

Your experience may be unique, different, or similar to one or more people.

People who are pondering Chemical Castration may find your comments useful as they ponder what to do.

It took me a lot of hunting through the EA to find out about the pros and cons, positives and negatives of chemical castration. Everybody's story is just scattered all over the place. Maybe this Thread can live on and be of use to those who may be in need of a consolidated point of information.

I elected to do the Ethal Alcohol testicle injections about 8 years ago now. After a series of slightly painfull injections into each testicle, the first thing I started to notice was a decrease in my sex drive about 40 days after starting the injection procedures. Also, I noticed that during the injection process, which took place once every 2 weeks or so, my testicles were getting smaller and smaller, atrophying. As far as how I felt, I had less energy total and my erections stopped completely, as did my sex drive. Life got so boring and depressing, I started on HRT therapy with weekly injections of testosterone, but just enough to keep the sexual urge up and going. My system has much lower levels than they had before. I have about the same levels as a women has in her system now. I do say, the feminizing program I doing with taking estrogen, has worked a lot better with the high levels of tes out of the way now.

Between the estrofem and siterone I spend about $1000 a year. that's what I don't like.

I started chemical castration over 2.5 almost 3 years ago now. I stopped once for about a period of 6 or 7 weeks to see if I had achieved any permanent damage.

Here is where I will completely disagree with Nullorchis, at least as far as I am concerned. My T-level before taking the drug was @ 320. This as we know is on the very low side of normal. On the drug I dropped down to 40-50. When I came off of the drug it brought me up to 90 and stayed there. My endo did a bunch of tests and blood work and said the increase was coming from my pituitary gland and not my Testicals. He said that from the lack of work they had atrophied and failed to restart. When Siterone blocks the T it eventually causes the testicals to stop producing it. To imply that they will just start to automatically work again after a long period of non functioning is in correct.

Once I went back on my lose dose of Siterone my levels have gone back to the 40-50 range and stayed there. I started having testicular pain a few months ago, my endo and urologist agreed that the testicals have atrophied to the max and thus causing the pain, they are dead and now have to be removed, in about 6 weeks. So yes long term use of the drugs can lead to permanent effects.

For me the most positive aspect of chem castration has been the reduction in libido. I greatly enjoy the benefit of not being motivated by my sex drive or the actions it was leading me to take.

I am also a lot less of an aggressive person, and that has helped me massively over the past few years, along with that is an obvious calming effect. I know not everyone gets the eunuch calm, but I seemed to have.

I have a dramatically smaller penis, about 50% smaller if not a bit more. That’s another biggie for me. I really disliked the size of my genitals and I am very pleased with the reduction in size.

Now some of the negatives:

I did go through about 2 1/2 month funk of some serious depression. I know that the causes were externally caused. (Getting cancer, losing a lot of money in the market, losing 2 family members), but (and I could be wrong), I think I may have been better able to deal with it if I wasn’t on the drugs. Siterone doesn’t cause depression, but it does make you a little bit more susceptible to it. I did however get over it with the help of my family and some therapy. I knew to be on the watch for it, so when it hit, I took action.

Before the depression I hadn’t gained much weight, I was good about watching what I ate and was working out. Yeah, that stopped and even though I beat the depression I gained 40#s in 6 months, hadn’t gained anything in the first 2 years.

It’s become an artificial stress point in my relationship with my husband. He has always suffered through intimacy issues for the 19 years we have been together and now is using my eunuch status as a reason that we aren’t as close. We have never had a lot of sex in our relationship, the sex we did have was always motivated by me, and I still motivate our current sex life. So it’s frustrating that he uses it as cause for a much bigger issue.

I have never done HRT and don’t plan on it. I am under the care of my docs.

The positive benefits for me have outweighed the negative by far, I just need to get back to the gym and work through our couples issues with our couple’s counselor.

DavidB. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences with everyone. I did not mean to infer that taking Siterone (etc) would NOT damage the testes, I was sharing what I have read in the literature from a couple of drug manufacturers. (yea, right, trust a drug company.....ha)

Something I did not share earlier was the impact that lowered testosterone had on my mental concentration and initiative.

There is kind of a fine line between aggression and drive (or initiative). Without initiative and drive there is little incentive to get out of bed or do anything.

I found that as my T level dropped I would loose my concentration. I would start out thinking about something and then just mind-wander (or day-dream). Eventually I would snap back but it would take me a few moments to re-connect with what it was that I started out working on or thinking about.

Then I lost interest in doing anything. But it was more than that. I was DISINTERESTED in doing the things that use to be of interest to me. My activities, hobbies, movies, shows, you name it. I just sort of became a mental and physical blob. It never progressed into depression. My personality and activity level just sort of "flatlined".

Trying to get up incentive to work on things that I didn't want to do was almost an impossibility. A lot of things that I was always reliable about taking care of or doing just fell by the wayside. Ho, Hum, Who Cares, became my motto. I became kind of like a Panda. They seem like very laid back, Low-T creatures. (not reproducing very well either......maybe most Pandas are gay?)

Over time I have been able to deal with my lack of drive and it is less of an issue. I just have to work at being more focused and more "driven". But this effort comes from within my psyche, my mind, not from my balls. I much prefer the Low-T me and life.

Now that Mother Nature's testosterone isn't controlling my life, I acting more like a human being who happens to have male physical features, and less like a MAN. "OH, What A Relief It Is ! "

Just as you can get use to your hair falling out, or dentures, or some other physical change, you can get use to having no interest in or need for sexual desire or release. It's not the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new lease on life.

Thats also one negative I forgot about in the first few months i also became easily distracted, would lose my train of thought and became disinterested as well. It took me a while to re-adjust my thought process.

Thank you everyone for these posts. I am new to this site and relatively new to the/my dream of a sexual desire free life. The information provided here gives me greater confidence for the life that I hope to lead. One of a castrated male who has NO sex drive whatsoever. It seems like the best thing to do is go on a medication trial for six months or so and then have surgery. Right? I am seeing two doctors at the moment and hope to trial something later this year.

If the medication can permanently remove my sex drive then I would be delighted with that. Do you think this is likely?

I am 28 years old and relatively fit, but not very physically strong. I am pretty adequate at distance running and just lift/push small weights. Is there a balance that can be struck between totally removing my sex drive and still having a little energy to go for a short jog?