Hi everyone:

For me becoming a eunuch is not a fantasy or some fad desire.

All of my life, I have been gay and fighting it tooth and nail. My attraction to men is something I have had to fight and an issue that I can't live with. As a Christian, I have found myself very conflicted and have known for several years that the day would come when I would need to become a eunuch, that my sex drive would not bring me to places that I don't want to go; that I know "for me" I should not go.

To compound the problem, I also am highly manic and find that my sexual tension is multiplied endlessly because of the hormonal imbalance. Though medication "can" help, medication has not been a cure. Consequently, I live with constant guilt.

I have thought about chemical castration but due to its "non" permanent effects, this solution would not be a "final" guarantee for success.

Consequently, I have considered "banding" and have found a company that can supply me the necessary equipment inexpensively.

What are your thoughts? Your advice? What should I do for pain management during the procedure?

My plan simply is to apply the "band" and then when the scrotum turns "black" for lack of blood circulation, to admit myself into the hospital for surgery. As a Vet, I would automatically be transferred to a VA hospital and by my necessity, they would be "forced" to comply with my desires.

I have talked to my VA mental health provider and he is adamently against my wishes, but I have to have PEACE and be able to live with myself.

The only reason that I have desired to become a eunuch is because I am so in love with Jesus, I can't live in such constant defeat and shame that my own humanity has caused me.

I have enclosed my email address for your use in this matter.

My deepest regards to all as I rejoice in your found freedom.

Art Brooks brooks_art @ yahoo.com

brooks_art (imported) wrote: Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:39 am Hi everyone:

For me becoming a eunuch is not a fantasy or some fad desire.

All of my life, I have been gay and fighting it tooth and nail. My attraction to men is something I have had to fight and an issue that I can't live with. As a Christian, I have found myself very conflicted and have known for several years that the day would come when I would need to become a eunuch, that my sex drive would not bring me to places that I don't want to go; that I know "for me" I should not go.

To compound the problem, I also am highly manic and find that my sexual tension is multiplied endlessly because of the hormonal imbalance. Though medication "can" help, medication has not been a cure. Consequently, I live with constant guilt.

I have thought about chemical castration but due to its "non" permanent effects, this solution would not be a "final" guarantee for success.

Consequently, I have considered "banding" and have found a company that can supply me the necessary equipment inexpensively.

What are your thoughts? Your advice? What should I do for pain management during the procedure?

My plan simply is to apply the "band" and then when the scrotum turns "black" for lack of blood circulation, to admit myself into the hospital for surgery. As a Vet, I would automatically be transferred to a VA hospital and by my necessity, they would be "forced" to comply with my desires.

I have talked to my VA mental health provider and he is adamently against my wishes, but I have to have PEACE and be able to live with myself.

The only reason that I have desired to become a eunuch is because I am so in love with Jesus, I can't live in such constant defeat and shame that my own humanity has caused me.

I have enclosed my email address for your use in this matter.

My deepest regards to all as I rejoice in your found freedom.

Art Brooks brooks_art

@yahoo.com

Art,

Being both gay and Christian is fairly common, so you're *not* alone on this!

There are a number of Christian churches - Metropolitan Community Church (http://www.mccchurch.org) is probably the most well-known - that provide ministries for the GLBT community. I'm not sure how tied to your current church you are; it sounds like you've spent a lot of time in a conservative/fundamentalist church, so I can understand why it's a problem.

The religious attitude toward homosexuality is based in large part on the Holiness Code in Leviticus; if you do some research, you'll find that a *lot* of that code is, from *today's* standpoint, pretty ridiculous!

It's obvious that you're consumed by guilt over your homosexuality. That's how religion controls people; they exploit guilt! The problem there is that manipulating people through guilt does *nothing* to foster *spiritual* growth; it's a throwback to the Angry God of the Old Testament!

Have you ever thought that there was a higher purpose for you being gay? If you believe that God's Will controls us, then maybe it was God's Will that you turned out gay! Would God let people be gay if He didn't have a *reason* for it?

To be blunt, castration is *not* the answer for you!

I don't know where you live, so I can't give you specific information about where to turn, but remember, "Seek, and ye shall find"!

Hope this helps!!!

-YPA

Art, castration would be the worst mistake you could make right now. Your sexuality is what it is, and if your church has a problem with it, then you need another church. Only once you take ownership of your sexuality and recognize it as an important part of you, will you be able to view it (and yourself) for the wonderful things that you are.

Taking ownership of your sexuality doesn't mean going to every gay bar in town and dancing around in a G-string, unless that's somehow your thing. It means experiencing love, holding, being held, and knowing that this is all right. Love is one of the things that defines us as human, and to cut yourself off from it, so to speak, would be to deny part of what makes you human.

Knowing and being sure that you want castration is not always what it seems to be. The idea can sound like it will be everything you want. Most only look at some effects. The other effects have to be understood. Those effects can be very hard to handle. A very high percentage of eunuch's end up on testosterone any ways. The physical and emotional effects are too hard to deal with. Castration may cause even more mental problems.

It would be very wise to try out chemical castration for a half year or more. It will give you a real idea on how it will effect you. If it works out well with you then look into castration. No reason to jump into something that you will be sorry for the rest of your life.

Nothing wrong in being gay. Some say that 10% of to population is gay. You may not know it for they are not out telling the world that they are gay. If you get castrated you will still be just as gay as your are today. Castration can not change that.

Banding is very painful. There are many risks of doing it. Once you go to the hospital you may get your balls removed. You can very much also be admitted into the mental ward. You will be listed as doing self harm. I am not sure if you want to go through that.

There are very many posts of guys trying the banding. So very many had bad side effects. Do the research before you make a mistake.

Welcome to the Archive.

I am usually the contrary voice to people saying "don't get castrated", but in this case I'm on their side. I think you would be doing this for the wrong reason.

At this point, I would say at the least that you need to take more time to reflect on why you would want to do this, and if it is to make others comfortable with your own sexuality, then I'd say don't do it. You do not do this because others are uncomfortable with your sexuality. You do it because it is a deep down, unremitting desire within yourself.

Given what you said, I think this would be the most horrible mistake you could make in your life. I'd exercise EXTREME caution before you take this irreversible step.

--LT

I to must say make peace with yourself before you alter yourself. When I was young and began to feel sexual attractions and realized it was for men I had some religious based guilt. Then when I truly looked into myself and realized I was a good caring person and that the love I felt was natural for me even if not for others. As you would seek a second opinion from a doctor I would speak with ministers from other denominations about you being gay. Give yourself a chance to be happy with you.

I agree with bobbie, Losethem and the others. At this time and with these circumstances castration would be one of the worst things for you to do. Castration will not "cure" being gay. Being gay and being a eunuch are not opposites. And, the plan you have chosen has so many flaws that I can only forsee an unsatisfactory outcome. You will not be happy with the results. --FLO--

Dear Friends:

I have closely examined each of your posts and it would appear that you "all" are in agreement.

My desire to become a eunuch has nothing to do with my sexual orientation. I realize whole heartedly that my sexual orientation will always remain what it is.

What this has to do with is my ability or inability to "commune" with Christ and that is the only motivation that has ever driven me.

You all have said that I need to take time. How much time? In fact, this has been a subject that I have prayerfully considered for over 25 years.

The root of the problem is Testosterone production and its ability to fuel the proverbial fires. Being manic, this problem is only multiplied.

I thank the gentlemen that stated I should try chemcial castration first to see if I can tolerate the side effects, he has spoken most appropriately. This is probably the best course of action for a six month period.

I have been in contact with an oveseas vendor for medication w/o a prescription and I will need to be educated on the best meds to use, doseages and cost effectiveness --- but this is all research that I am willing to invest.

I hope that in reading my introductory letter, that you do not believe I am looking for a "quick" solution or a "quick" fix. In fact, I have wrestled with this for 25 years but in 2004, I "knew" that in my need for PEACE, I would be forced to take this step.

My peace is more important that anything else. My ability to "commune" with Christ is more important that anything else. When my peace has become so grossly violated that communing with Christ becomes impossible -- then something must change.

I still welcome your input but I pray that you realize that my sexual orienation is not the issue -- but hormonal imbalance and unrest. I have taken ownership of who I am, but at the same point - as a Christian, I cannot allow my own humanity to take control of my responsibiity and hinder my ability to live for Christ.

I will continue to do as I have done --- to research all available options and to make the right choice that is RIGHT for ME.

Again, warmest wishes in your found freedom.

Art

brooks_art (imported) wrote: Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:44 pm Dear Friends:

I have closely examined each of your posts and it would appear that you "all" are in agreement.

My desire to become a eunuch has nothing to do with my sexual orientation. I realize whole heartedly that my sexual orientation will always remain what it is.

brooks_art (imported) wrote: Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:39 am All of my life, I have been gay and fighting it tooth and nail. My attraction to men is something I have had to fight and an issue that I can't live with. As a Christian, I have found myself very conflicted and have known for several years that the day would come when I would need to become a eunuch, that my sex drive would not bring me to places that I don't want to go; that I know "for me" I should not go.

Art

Sorry but I am a little confused but wish you well on your path.

I agree with all the advice that has been given on the topic. I will add one thing. Becoming a eunuch will only diminish your ability to have "normal" sex (wqhatever Normal is).

It will not take away your feelings. It will make it more difficult to fulfill them whether gay or straight unless you go on hrt. You will still have to deal with the feeling you have for men even after castration.

Frustration city