Hi every body. It’s a long time since the last time I wrote an entry on my blog regarding my progress on Androcur. I was very busy and on a nasty journey. Anyway, now it’s almost 4 months that I’m on Androcur. At first I started off with a low dose, and then increased to 150 mg/day, I was on 150 mg/day for almost 3 months, it worked well for me. then I lowered my dosage to 125 mg/day and finally after two weeks being on 125 mg I reduced to 100 mg/day. But since I’m on 100 mg(about 10 days), my libido and some other effects of testosterone seem to be finding their way back! I don’t know if I should switch to 125 mg again. Androcur is really expensive and its difficult for me to afford the drug on such a high dosage in long term.

In my previous blog entry I wrote most of the effects I was getting being on Androcur. Well after 4 months, I’ve gained 10 lbs (now I weight 154 lbs). I used to be a slim boy but im satisfied with this new weight gain. It seems the extra pounds I got have been distributed in my thigh and belly region. My appetite now is much better than before.

But one significant effect that I have gotten and I’d like to speak of is a weird mental state. Emotionally speaking, I used to be very independent. I mean when I was in a relationship, or if I didn’t have a BF, I always could be emotionally independent. I would never feel like I need someone to be by my side or else I could not be happy. But since taking Androcur, my sexual needs have reduced, instead of that; my emotional needs have been dramatically increased. I need more attention now. I want someone to be always by my side. It can easily make me cry if someone I love doesn’t pay much attention to me. I’m emotionally so irritable and sensitive and liable to get hurt. It’s very weird the way I have changed. I hate my new self. And I used to focus on sex in a relationship rather than emotional things. But it’s exactly vice versa now. I’d rather avoid sex and only be in love without sex! When my new BF touches me and wants to have sex with me it gets to me and I think he wants me only for sex! I know that he is right and I’m wrong, but I can’t help my emotions.

Now my only concern is my libido coming back and that why 100 mg/day can’t have the desired effects as 150 and 125 mg would do.

jesaispas (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 09, 2010 12:46 pm But one significant effect that I have gotten and I’d like to speak of is a weird mental state. Emotionally speaking, I used to be very independent. I mean when I was in a relationship, or if I didn’t have a BF, I always could be emotionally independent. I would never feel like I need someone to be by my side or else I could not be happy. But since taking Androcur, my sexual needs have reduced, instead of that; my emotional needs have been dramatically increased. I need more attention now. I want someone to be always by my side. It can easily make me cry if someone I love doesn’t pay much attention to me. I’m emotionally so irritable and sensitive and liable to get hurt. It’s very weird the way I have changed. I hate my new self. And I used to focus on sex in a relationship rather than emotional things. But it’s exactly vice versa now. I’d rather avoid sex and only be in love without sex! When my new BF touches me and wants to have sex with me it gets to me and I think he wants me only for sex! I know that he is right and I’m wrong, but I can’t help my emotions.

Now my only concern is my libido coming back and that why 100 mg/day can’t have the desired effects as 150 and 125 mg would do.

Would try staying at 100mg a day.

The emotional changes is one thing that no one seems to be able to relate to others. People look different at reduced testosterone with the physical effects. They are very easy to see. Many of the other mental effects other then the sex drive are very much effected. The way you experience sex and love will all change. Your mood, actions, and the way you look at things all change. These changes are something you can not predict until you have the castration effect. You will show and experience some emotions similar to a female.

This is why we always say you need to be on chemical castration for a long time before you take the final step.

Not sure why you hate the new you. Reading your blog i thought that moving away from being controlled by your libido was a good thing. Having sex with someone you are emotionally involved beats the hell out of just sex. It takes time to adjust to the new emotional approach to things.

jesaispas (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 09, 2010 12:46 pm I need more attention now. I want someone to be always by my side. It can easily make me cry if someone I love doesn

’t pay much attention to me. I’

jesaispas (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 09, 2010 12:46 pm m emotionally so irritable and sensitive and liable to get hurt. It’s very weird the way I have changed. I hate my new self. And I used to focus on sex in a relationship rather than emotional things. But it

’s exactly vice versa now. I’

jesaispas (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 09, 2010 12:46 pm d rather avoid sex and only be in love without sex! When my new BF touches me and wants to have sex with me it gets to me and I think he wants me only for sex! I know that he is right and I

’m wrong, but I can’t help my emotions.

I know this thread is very old but when reading I can´t avoid feeling myself Identified with . That´s what Exactly feel with my partner. But I think that I´m not the wrong . I don´t hate my new mind, The only thing don´t like is that I´m more emotionally suceptible , when I had testosterone the sex was the most important. Now free from T my mind is clearer. And I can think based on feelings and reason instead compulsion. Many times Testosterone clouds our minds.

Frida G Cavic (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 03, 2014 2:03 pm Now free from T my mind is clearer. And I can think based on feelings and reason instead compulsion. Many times Testosterone clouds our minds.

AMEN! I couldn't agree more. I used to interact with people based on compulsive/abnormal sexual feelings - this got me into trouble *quite* often in the past.