With Turkey day arriving shortly, I think we should all look back on Thanksgiving celebrations of olden times and thank our lucky stars for having survived. What with bones in the throat or a host that says "I picked those mushrooms yesterday" or the turkey that cooks in its own juices overnight at 250 degrees (mmmm, mmm, salmonella) or the tryptophan and alcohol induced after dinner stupors, or the 24 hours of football and the red coal eyeballs or the loon relatives (the relatives as loons?)

A Wild turkey is not a pint bottle, it's a winged fowl that can fly ten or twenty feed in the wild, but the domestic, factory grown turkey cannot fly, cannot walk but for waddling thanks to pendulous breasts of succulent white meat, and is bred for stupidity.

One of the greatest 24 minutes of television occurred back in the second golden age of TV -- WKRP in Cincinnati.

Hulu has the heartwarming thanksgiving episode that ends with the infamous line "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!"

http://www.hulu.com/watch/322/wkrp-in-c ... rkeys-away

I remember that episode well. Brings a smile to my face. Thanks

Dave (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:58 pm A Wild turkey is not a pint bottle, it's a winged fowl that can fly ten or twenty feed in the wild, but the domestic, factory grown turkey cannot fly, cannot walk but for waddling thanks to pendulous breasts of succulent white meat, and is bred for stupidity.

There are plenty of wild turkeys in my area. Last week I saw one fly across the freeway ahead of my car. It crossed from one stand of trees to another, a good 125 yards at least. Turkey can fly for some distance, but they prefer to stay on the ground most of the day. They fly to save thier lives or to roost in trees at night.

micropenis (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 13, 2009 8:56 pm There are plenty of wild turkeys in my area. Last week I saw one fly across the freeway ahead of my car. It crossed from one stand of trees to another, a good 125 yards at least. Turkey can fly for some distance, but they prefer to stay on the ground most of the day. They fly to save thier lives or to roost in trees at night.

That's wild turkey. I watched a coworker try to beat the turkey flock where I used to work and they "took off" over and on and around his car. They scratched the paint up real good and that little bit of impatience cost him a paint job (Earl Schieb special, if you know what I mean)...

But yes, wild turkey will fly away. My Niece's kid shot his first turkey at 12 years old. They have long wings and legs.

Domestic turkeys, like Butterball turkey or whatever brands you get, are not flyers. Not with those hormonally enhanced breasts for lots of white meat and tiny wings because who eats wing meat.

Go watch WKRP and you'll understand why I said what I did.

WKRP, That was and still is the best bit of comedy ever.

OH the humanity of it all!!

I live out in the country and wild turkeys live in the woods behind my place. One morning Rupert and I were woke up with this strange noise, we looked out the window and there was 2 turkey hens, I let Rupert out, he did what cats do and got upwind of the turkey's, when he got about 10 ft behind one of them the turkey sensed it and took flight, Rupert leaped and at about 6ft in the air Rupert just missed by inches of us having turkey dinner that night. I have seen them sense in groups of 2 to 5 but I have never seen a tom, only the hens.

River

SCENE in Cincinatti that Thanksgiving:

Older couple walking downtown. The wife looks and says, "dear, are those flying saucers?" to which her frantic husband replies, "OMG, they're turkeys, run for your life my dear."

Several minutes later the downtown area looked like a battle zone: scared people in shock and dazed and hundreds of splattered turkey parts scattered around.

Fortunately WKRP news's Les Nesman was on the scene was there to cover it

Yes River, best episode ever

Thanks Dave for the link,

As g

Dave (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:58 pm od is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

River

I felt we all could see this again. It's been a tough three years since it was opened.

And if you don't like it, you can shove your stuffing up your turkey...

That's where we shoved our stuffing.

"As GOD is my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly...)

Gordon Jump where are you?

I think this was maybe the best ever. Thanks Dave

River

I know it's an old thread but it deserves to be bumped today.

Dave (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:52 pm "As GOD is my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly

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Dave (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:58 pm http://www.hulu.com/watch/322/wkrp-in-c ... rkeys-away