intersexed (imported) wrote: Fri Oct 23, 2009 2:58 am I was here under a different name a few years ago but lost the login information.

My story is this:

I was born intersexed, raised as male. At puberty, I began to feminize (breast development, body shape). By 13, I was as well-endowed as most of the girls in my grade.

I had my breasts removed at 14.

I masculinized later in puberty so I look more masculine now. However, somewhere in my mid-20s, my body stopped producing testosterone. My endo at the time suggested that I go on T shots. I didn't want to become more masculine as I felt 'in-between'.

I went a few years without hormones, then about 2 1/2 years ago, I went on estrogen to see what it was like. I was on it for 2 1/2 years and recently had to go off due to financial problems.

I don't identify as female. I don't identify as male. Just somewhere in-between. I live as male because I need to work in order to pay bills and living as masculine is easiest. I'd make a terrible-looking female.

But I enjoyed living as a male while on estrogen. Sure, it changed my body shape a bit and my face slightly. But I did not react negatively to it at all. In fact, I think it helped me gain a bit of understanding about women. I'm better able to sympathize than I was before.

(Though, having never lived as female or menstruated..there's obviously a lot I don't 'get' about femaleness.)

I'm considering going on the T shots just to see how they make me feel. I don't want to masculinize too much because I like being somewhere in the middle.

Anyway, thanks for reading.