Just joined.
Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 5:11 am
Hi,
I am a 38 year old male from Perth, West Australia. For the last 18 months I have had an increasing want to be physically unable to obtain an erection. This is due to a few reasons, including increasing bizarre fetish behaviour bordering on dangerous, guilt after masterbation, constant time wasting surfing the net for porn to fulfill my needs and constant thoughts of sex, sex, sex. It's sort of a paradox that my sexual desire (if that's what it's called) is actually to remove sexual desire.
Early last year I found this forum, and learnt about chemical castration as a potential saviour. From reading posts it didn't seem like it was going to be an easy job to get my hands on the drugs, and I wasn't keen on importing illegally via internet shops. Surprisingly it wasn't that hard at all, I simply approached a GP and explained my story just as I've explained it above, and he prescribed 50mg Androcur and 10mg Tamoxifen for a 3 month trial as easy as that. He did include a blood test before and after to make sure there were no unseen problems.
I found the 3 month trial terrific, with effects starting to kick in after about 2 weeks. Unwanted erections day + night gone, thoughts of sex disappeared (you could have stuck a Victoria's Secret model in lingerie in front of me and told me to help myself and my response would have been "Meh..."), fetishes gone, still able to have sex with my partner if required although not always able to penetrate or "keep it up" the whole time, orgasms unfulfilling and lacking fluid (take it or leave it), kind of nice to receive a blow job and not worry about coming earlier than I would like. All-in-all it was great, but my doctor had moved somewhere else and I would have to approach another one to explain myself again.
I took the next 12 months off the drugs, as while it is exciting what they had done to me, it was also scary because they do have very dramatic effects on your life. I wanted to make sure that coming off them, things could return to normal. And they have to a point, except I really don't think my erections have ever come back to the size and stamina that they used to be before. It could also have to do with other medications I was taking in the 12 month period, but it's not a major drama. Sore, enlarged breasts was an issue, and while the soreness and sensitivity went away over time, I do have smallish man-boobs now. Probably needed to take the Tamoxifen earlier rather than later. The time off also gave me time to pluck up the courage again to explain my story to another doctor and hope they were as generous.
More recently (last couple of weeks), the urges really returned to try the chemical castration route again. I wasn't getting any younger, so I actually went to my own doctor this time and once again honestly told him what I wanted the drugs for and he obliged. In fact, for the very expensive Androcur this time he gave me a special authorisation to obtain it, which meant for 100 x 50mg pills I only had to pay AUD$33. I have decided to up the tempo a little bit, as I really want to be 100% impotent. My partner will have to make do with other parts of my body or various toys we have. I am starting on 2 x 50mg Androcur per day and 20mg Tamoxifen to stop breast growth, the Tamoxifen in itself hopefully adding to the loss of libido. The doctor gave me enough for a 6 month run. I really would not be disappointed if things didn't return, but we shall have to see.
Currently I am on the second day of the regime and already I am losing the constant feeling of a tent peg in my pants. As I posted in my profile my aim is to be totally impotent and have to service a sexy female/TG dominatrix as punishment and humiliation. It could very well all stay a long lost fantasy though as the loss of libido kicks in, and I probably won't care about that anymore. I really don't want it to be an affair away from my partner, but part of the fantasy is that I don't the person I am servicing. I guess the chances of finding someone that's after the same thing as me who happens to live near me are next to none anyway. I really wouldn't know where to begin looking.
Anyway, here I am.
I am a 38 year old male from Perth, West Australia. For the last 18 months I have had an increasing want to be physically unable to obtain an erection. This is due to a few reasons, including increasing bizarre fetish behaviour bordering on dangerous, guilt after masterbation, constant time wasting surfing the net for porn to fulfill my needs and constant thoughts of sex, sex, sex. It's sort of a paradox that my sexual desire (if that's what it's called) is actually to remove sexual desire.
Early last year I found this forum, and learnt about chemical castration as a potential saviour. From reading posts it didn't seem like it was going to be an easy job to get my hands on the drugs, and I wasn't keen on importing illegally via internet shops. Surprisingly it wasn't that hard at all, I simply approached a GP and explained my story just as I've explained it above, and he prescribed 50mg Androcur and 10mg Tamoxifen for a 3 month trial as easy as that. He did include a blood test before and after to make sure there were no unseen problems.
I found the 3 month trial terrific, with effects starting to kick in after about 2 weeks. Unwanted erections day + night gone, thoughts of sex disappeared (you could have stuck a Victoria's Secret model in lingerie in front of me and told me to help myself and my response would have been "Meh..."), fetishes gone, still able to have sex with my partner if required although not always able to penetrate or "keep it up" the whole time, orgasms unfulfilling and lacking fluid (take it or leave it), kind of nice to receive a blow job and not worry about coming earlier than I would like. All-in-all it was great, but my doctor had moved somewhere else and I would have to approach another one to explain myself again.
I took the next 12 months off the drugs, as while it is exciting what they had done to me, it was also scary because they do have very dramatic effects on your life. I wanted to make sure that coming off them, things could return to normal. And they have to a point, except I really don't think my erections have ever come back to the size and stamina that they used to be before. It could also have to do with other medications I was taking in the 12 month period, but it's not a major drama. Sore, enlarged breasts was an issue, and while the soreness and sensitivity went away over time, I do have smallish man-boobs now. Probably needed to take the Tamoxifen earlier rather than later. The time off also gave me time to pluck up the courage again to explain my story to another doctor and hope they were as generous.
More recently (last couple of weeks), the urges really returned to try the chemical castration route again. I wasn't getting any younger, so I actually went to my own doctor this time and once again honestly told him what I wanted the drugs for and he obliged. In fact, for the very expensive Androcur this time he gave me a special authorisation to obtain it, which meant for 100 x 50mg pills I only had to pay AUD$33. I have decided to up the tempo a little bit, as I really want to be 100% impotent. My partner will have to make do with other parts of my body or various toys we have. I am starting on 2 x 50mg Androcur per day and 20mg Tamoxifen to stop breast growth, the Tamoxifen in itself hopefully adding to the loss of libido. The doctor gave me enough for a 6 month run. I really would not be disappointed if things didn't return, but we shall have to see.
Currently I am on the second day of the regime and already I am losing the constant feeling of a tent peg in my pants. As I posted in my profile my aim is to be totally impotent and have to service a sexy female/TG dominatrix as punishment and humiliation. It could very well all stay a long lost fantasy though as the loss of libido kicks in, and I probably won't care about that anymore. I really don't want it to be an affair away from my partner, but part of the fantasy is that I don't the person I am servicing. I guess the chances of finding someone that's after the same thing as me who happens to live near me are next to none anyway. I really wouldn't know where to begin looking.
Anyway, here I am.
