Lately my social circle has begun to expand and I'm making a number of new friends. This has caused me to consider the possibility of coming out of the "eunuch closet," so to speak. It's pretty much the same dilemma I had when I first came out as gay years ago: I don't want to have to watch what I say about myself, and I don't want to have to wonder "would this person still want to be in my life if they knew"? I don't like keeping secrets about myself and it's starting to really bother me that I don't feel I can be open about this part of my life, even with older friends I've known for years. So far only my partner and two close friends know of my eunuch status (excluding the members of this site, of course).

I was wondering if anyone else has had any experience with "coming out" to their friends as a eunuch, what kinds of reactions they received, and how they dealt with the inevitable questions about "why"? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

just take your time and just tell the people who need to know

and work it graduly

but thats my expereance

Why would you feel the need to tell anyone beyond your partner?

I've told quite a few people. Some cringe or cross their legs, most are interested for about 3 minutes, and then most seem to forget all about it in short order or just don't give a damn.

I have come out to most of my non-work friends and several work friends including my boss. I have had nothing but positive reactions but then again I work in a University environment where most seem to have an open mind. It makes me feel people really know me when they really know me so to speak.

I can actually have fun with things as well. Last week I was at the bar and this one guy I drink with was looking at a Playboy and he showed me this one chick in the book and I said OMFG!! Look at her nails they are awesome! He almost fell on the floor laughing. I present as male but have some feminine qualities as well.

There are so many ways to deal with something like this and a lot of variables involved. Whatever you choose to do I hope it works out for you!

kristoff wrote: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:14 pm most are interested for about 3 minutes, and then most seem to forget all about it in short order or just don't give a damn.

Kristoff, it sounds like most people you've told have treated it like it's no big deal, which is really the best reaction one can hope for. It definitely gives me food for thought.

To answer your question, Randy, it isn't so much that I feel the need to tell people as I'm tired of feeling the need to keep it secret. The fear of being rejected because of my eunuchism has made it harder for me to make new friends and in some cases caused me to withdraw from existing ones. I went through the same thing when I first came out as gay and it's frustrating to see myself repeating the same pattern.

kristoff wrote: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:14 pm I've told quite a few people. Some cringe or cross their legs, most are interested for about 3 minutes, and then most seem to forget all about it in short order or just don't give a damn.

Actually, that is my case. No one even raises an eyebrow or ask about it. For the most part, it didn't take 3 minutes for everyone to forget it...even my family. If something comes up and I remind them (in answer to something) they seem surprised that I had it done.

Gandalf

My experiences have not all been positive. My longest friendship remained intact but my next oldest friend sent me a dismissal e-mail. Some friends that seemed accepting have drifted away. Just be careful and remember if you share the knowledge with them they may share it with others.

I have to say that I agree 100% with Randy. In most of our cases this is a totally personal decision that we've made and it is not understood by the majority of people. It's really no one else's business as far as I'm concerned.

My policy - if you're not sleeping with me, then you don't need to know.

The only friends I have told are all members here so that does not count, I did tell my family, all of them and they except it and we have moved on.

In the end the decision is yours and I guess the best answer I can give you is to do what feels right.

River