Aphorisms

[augman7518 (imported)]

Subject: Fw: Aphorisms

APHORISM:

A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH.

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. - Like this: It could be a right number.

13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies !

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!

20. Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don't mind. And the one's that mind, don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

[snakecharmer (imported)]

Very clever! Thanks for posting!

[markle (imported)]

Reminds me of Lazarus Long ...

“If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion.”

best,markle

[Taylor (imported)]

-Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.

-If it doesn't fit, get a bigger hammer.

-If brute force doesn't work, you aren't using enough.

-You can judge the character of a may by what he is willing to lie about.

[calmeilles (imported)]

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

-- Mark Twain

[Riverwind (imported)]

You can have piece or you can have freedom, don't expect both at the same time.

Those that would give up a little freedom for a little safety deserve neither freedom or safety.

One mans facts are another mans belly laugh.

River

[Solaris (imported)]

Dogs have owners; cats have staff!

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

"Being a pessimist means that no matter what the outcome you're never disappointed."

An original from the brilliant, albeit crazed, mind of none other than (cue the trumpets!)...YOLI! (I think it's original, but if not, my apologies.)

Yoli

The aforementioned

[Riverwind (imported)]

If you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.

River

[Taylor (imported)]

The worst thing about being a pessimist is that I'm so seldom disappointed.