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Unlike me

Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:42 pm
by randy (imported)
Being from a melting pot such as southern California, blind intolerance and racism is something I am just not exposed to. Recently I have been working in a different state where I have found that dumb hate really does exist. Not that I didn’t know this went on but experiencing it first hand is another thing.

I was working with another contractor I had just met who turned out to be totally incompetent so I had to hold his hand thru pretty much everything or do it myself while he watched. We were working off the same ladder wiring up loose ends in the ceiling. The manager of the restaurant we were working on walks by and greets us. Not a second after the manager got out of earshot, the guy I’m working with turns to me and says, “I think he is a *homosexual slur*.” I was sort of stunned that someone could be that damn bold. I told him I was Christian and didn’t want to talk like that, but he brushed that aside and kept moving his mouth. I didn’t really know what to say I was so mad so I said nothing at first. But he was very talkative and pressed the point of the mangers sexuality saying, “Don’t ya think so?” I replied, “I’m not sure I’ve never met him.” Then he starts going on and on about someone he picked on in high school and this and that, I won’t repeat what he said but it broke my heart just hearing it. After about a minute of him rambling on using a very hate filled word at every opportunity, I interjected and asked him, “Have you ever gotten your ass kicked by a *slur*? (The word felt odd coming out of my mouth, I had never uttered it before). He looks puzzled by the question and smirks a “well, hell no.” Looking him dead in the eye I threatened, “If you use that word one more time you will have.” It took his brain a second to get what I was saying and then he shut his mouth. Even though our feet were on the same rung, my shoulders towered a foot above his. He seemed to get smaller as the silence wore on, seeking to hide within himself. After a we quickly finished our job he said he needed a break, he walked to the bathroom and just kept on walking. Never saw him again.

I never threaten people, I am very mild mannered but my temper got the best of me this time. . As he spoke I could literally feel my neck getting hot. I was ashamed at what I did, and spent that night praying and fasting. Well as I spent the night alone in the hotel, that the whole job site was sharing. "Someone" took the liberty of giving my truck a fresh new paint job. I went out to my truck this morning to find big orange letters across the driver’s side. I bet you can guess what it said. I put my forehead against the window and just thought how bad gay people must have it. I really couldn’t care less about my new paint job at that point. I just thought of the friends I have made here and it made me so sad to think that other people have gone thru this but much worse and for a life time. Just because of stupidity. I have no other word for it… intolerance maybe.. culture.. whatever it is. I hate it. Basically my point it to any gay person that reads this is that I really do feel for you. I don't feel like you, but i can feel or you...in my own small way. For what it is worth I’m sorry for intolerance.

Well to end the story I went to work today and pulled up with my new flashy paint job. One of the California boys saw it and said “hey I didn’t know you was gay, Randy.” I said, “I’m not, I find both sexes equally unattractive.” Then a long pause and he broke with, “oh… ok.” And slaps me on the shoulder with a chuckle. Later I found out it was spray marking paint which wipes off with water. I didn’t wipe it off yet.

Re: Unlike me

Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:12 pm
by moi621 (imported)
What, foreign from California, State? Please.

Re: Unlike me

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:55 am
by The Lurker (imported)
Thanks, Randy.

Re: Unlike me

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:13 am
by Jean Op den Kamp (imported)
Hey Randy,

That's a nice story.

I wonder, can't you understand, that if people call your feelings "bad bad bad", and you are "scum scum scum", ...............all your life.

you like to let them go their way, even help them a little with your stories, send their thoughts just where they want to go, just to fuck them up.

Maybe there is no need to kick their ass, lett them do that to themselves.

I hope HE forgives me, maybe I need some prayers

loveUall

Jean

Re: Unlike me

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 3:02 am
by tugon (imported)
Yes, thank you Randy. Attending high school in a small Ohio town in the early 70's was not much fun. Sadly my class figured me out before I did and announced their opinions and physically abused me at each and every opportunity. I wonder now if all that hate directed at me was not a gift. Once I had experienced hate and torment at that level I find it impossible to hate others.

Re: Unlike me

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:51 am
by Jean Op den Kamp (imported)
tugon (imported) wrote: Thu Jun 04, 2009 3:02 am Once I had experienced hate and torment at that level I find it impossible to hate others.

Thank you to Tugon, I love and respect you for this.

That is exactly why:

IloveUall

Jean

Re: Unlike me

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:52 am
by ramses (imported)
Even Jesus reacted with rage in the Temple over the money grubbing priests. Anger and rage DO have a propper place. What would the world be like if no one were ever outraged about anything?

I think you handled the encounter with amazing control and tact. It's not like you kicked him off the ladder and kicked his teeth out (like a real gay bashing). I think you handled yourself, "outstandingly".

Re: Unlike me

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:55 am
by ramses (imported)
tugon (imported) wrote: Thu Jun 04, 2009 3:02 am Yes, thank you Randy. Attending high school in a small Ohio town in the early 70's was not much fun. Sadly my class figured me out before I did and announced their opinions and physically abused me at each and every opportunity. I wonder now if all that hate directed at me was not a gift. Once I had experienced hate and torment at that level I find it impossible to hate others.

It is unfortunate that many young gay and trans people are the very last ones to realze that they are gay. Someday we will live in a society where things like sexual preference can be talked about openly and without shame so that young people can understand who they are and proceed with life accordingly.

Re: Unlike me

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 6:02 am
by Arab Nights (imported)
I said, “I’
randy (imported) wrote: Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:42 pm m not, I find both sexes equally unattractive.
”

You know, this is not a bad line to remember.

I could not have handled the situation better myself.

Re: Unlike me

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 7:55 am
by Milkman (imported)
Randy,

What a story. Thank you for sharing it with us. I grew up in the 50's and 60's terrified that my sexuality would be known.. To compensate, I played sports and did just about any " manly " activity I could find.. .and made a huge effort to be popular.. eventually becoming vice-president of my prep-school class, on the varsity tennis team etc.. .Your couragous, nonsexuality is an inspiring example...