Hello everybody

i'm 19 years old and from Germany. First I have to say, that this is my first post in english, so I hope this is far as possible correct.

I think about a castration since I was 12 years old. I don't like my balls, but I feel me like a man. The thought, that I want to be castrated, is so strong, that I want to do it! I want to run clear of it. But my question, is a castration with 19 to early?

Greetings Tobias

hammel88 (imported) wrote: Mon Jun 01, 2009 9:18 am Hello everybody

i'm 19 years old and from Germany. First I have to say, that this is my first post in english, so I hope this is far as possible correct.

I think about a castration since I was 12 years old. I don't like my balls, but I feel me like a man. The thought, that I want to be castrated, is so strong, that I want to do it! I want to run clear of it. But my question, is a castration with 19 to early?

Greetings Tobias

Maybe you don't want to hear my advice..............

Find yourself a psychiatrist!!

They get payed to much money, so use them. Seems to me that I am getting the help I was asking for and that might be different from what people would expect

loveUall

Jean

There was a time that I thought no one under the age of 40 should be castrated. But I have changed my mind and see things differently. I see some who at 25 are completely happy as a Eunuch. I think if I was castrated at age 25, it would have been a very large plus for me and some of the errors could have been omitted. Just be sure that you read and think thru all the advantages and disadvantages. If you can live with the disadvantages, then proceed with great vigor. Please read thru all the literature here and think. I would recommend that you try Chemical Castration to. I still had my reservations after Chemical Castration, but looking back now, I can only see where it would have been better if I was castrated sooner. I made some dumb dumb mistakes when intact that I regret now.

The first step is to talk to some sort of counselor -- a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist -- maybe your interpretation of your feelings toward your body are not what you think. Maybe you onloy think you need to remove your testicles. A counselor will help you sort through those feelings.

The second step is to shut down your testicles by a reversible method. Use chemicals to find out if the effects are what you expected. When you understand that what you expect to happen, will happen or won't happen. Then you can make a better decision about your life ahead.

And the final step would be surgical removal. This is very, very permanent.

One last thing, you might not be done growing at the age of 19. You want to finish growing and let your body adjust to being an adult. This threshhold might not be visible to you. It is a medical threshhold. Your body might still think it's a child and might still be growing at a slow rate for another few years. That's why you want to talk to a doctor about this. How do I know this? I had a friend who had bone tumors at 20 years old and his body was still a "child" - had his body been adult the tumors were always cancerous and he would have died. But as a child, the tumors remained benign. Don't ask me to explain that, I'm not a doctor but I know the person nearly 40 years later.

Hello Tobias,

First of all, I want to welcome you to the Eunuch Archive (fondly referred to as “The Zoo”). Your English is excellent and no one should have difficulty understanding you.

Your question is a good one and one on which I, like many others here, have changed my opinion.

Since you are a new reader, a bit about my background. I am a medical anthropologist who is, with a colleague who is a professor in a school of medicine, studying the voluntary eunuch community. We have been gathering data about the members of the Eunuch Archive and have published some articles about voluntary eunuchs. We recently conducted a large survey of members and readers here which had 3,061 respondents. While we are still at the beginning stages of analysis of the data we have some data that may be of use to you.

Of those voluntary eunuchs who have already been surgically castrated, ¼ made an attempt at self-castration by age 12 and about ½ had made an attempt by age 18. Their average age of actual castration was 41. Some have been very happy about their decision to be castrated. Some have not. We know of some who committed suicide out of despair over what they had done.

Since castration is permanent and irreversible, all of the serious members of the Eunuch Archive community would recommend BOTH that you see a counseling professional (psychologist or psychiatrist) to explore your desire to be castrated AND that you use one of the chemical castration drugs for at least a year so that you can be certain that you like the results.

While the testicles seem as if they should be easy to remove, they are well supplied with both blood and pain sensing nerves. Some have been successful with self-castration, but far too many end up in hospital emergency rooms after failed attempts. The medical literature indicates that some have died of the attempt. Finding a surgeon willing to perform a castration is difficult, but not impossible. We hope that it will become easier in the near future.

Some of my colleagues and I are presenting a proposal for a Standards of Care document for those who wish to be castrated at the meeting of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health that will be held in Oslo in the middle of June. We will be presenting a version of the proposal also to the World Association for Sexual Health later in the month. We are hoping that this will encourage medical professionals to take the desire for castration much more seriously and to provide proper counseling and surgical care.

The Standards of Care will propose one year of chemical castration before surgery, but will propose that surgery be readily available to those who demonstrate that they have a clear understanding of the consequences.

In line with the current trend toward allowing Male-to-Female and Female-to-Male transsexuals to transition at a young age, we will be proposing that chemical castration be allowed as early as the beginning of puberty when approved by a psychiatrist, though surgery would be allowed only after the age of legal majority.

I encourage you to explore the vast storehouse of data on the Eunuch Archive and to ask questions of the members here.

Hello, Hammel !

I feel I have to respond to your question.

I have posted this: http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthr ... post114806

Here you can read what I went through. Possibly you can recognize yourself ?

Please take care. You have only one body. Do not mess it up.

Vesal Mas.

hammel88 (imported) wrote: Mon Jun 01, 2009 9:18 am Hello everybody

i'm 19 years old and from Germany. First I have to say, that this is my first post in english, so I hope this is far as possible correct.

I think about a castration since I was 12 years old. I don't like my balls, but I feel me like a man. The thought, that I want to be castrated, is so strong, that I want to do it! I want to run clear of it. But my question, is a castration with 19 to early?

Greetings Tobias

Jesus has covered the issue quite well.

Still I wish to add some philosophical thoughts.

True, castration is irreversible. Once you are castrated there is no way to reattach your testicles. It means that decision must be made on very clear understanding about what the life as a castrated person would mean. You gotta have a test castration with chemicals to have a clue what it would feel like. Also, some aspects of eunuch life might be revealed only after actual castration. It concerns what you would feeling when you can not reverse castration anymore, and how complete would you feel after some parts of your body and image have been actually removed.

On the other hand postponing the castration endlessly and living unhappy life with that desire won't make you happier. And when you finally get it done you would feel like you have wasted too much time and life just being unsure. Time is ticking by and you will never get it back as you won't get back your testicles once it is gone.

So, you must make it clear very early why you want castration. Whether it is just a sexual fantasy or real neccesity. Endless uncertainty is almost like endless pain. I would advise you make a serious effort to answer that question.

If you have read a theory of relativity, you understand that it applies to our everyday lives too. There is no fixed reference points in our lives. For example $10 is $10 even after 10 years. But its value and purchase power changes constantly. With that I want to say that if you get castrated now and you might be happy with that for the next 10 years, you might be not so happy after 20 years. Or vice versa, you might be happy to keep your balls for the next 10 years and after 20 you might regret that you weren't castrated much earlier. And you never know that until 20 years has passed. Your set of life values change as you age and you have no clue which direction they would change.

What I want to say with that, is that you must not bother your mind how you will think after 20 years too much. It could be that there is even no planet earth after 20 years. (I always laugh when I see somebody in the movie saying "I will love you for ever!". In a real life how many couples divorce before 3 years? was it half of them?) Still your mind must be clear and ahead looking when you make your decision.

I think that the biggest issue why castration is postponed too long is a fear how others might react on your decision if they find out. Keeping the secret is also gruelling.

If you are really unsure and still feel that you need castration, you may live half of your life as a normal male and second half as an enuch, then you have had both lives with considerable lenghts.

Tobias,

Welcome to the EA. You have already received much great information so I just wanted to say hello.

Tobias:

You don't say too much about yourself but may I observe that this may be an reaction of revulsion from your prior abuse from your father creating a resultant feeling of inadequacyand lack of self confidence.

The above references to trials with androcur are fine to determine whether castration will make you feel better. In my mind this is putting the cart before the horse. At 19 you still have a lot of life in front of you and I agree with the suggestion that you also seek advice and treatment from a professional person in this field to make more certain that this is a right decision for you? It may well be the right thing , but if you get it wrong it is very difficult to then compensate by use of testorone injections/patches etc.

Also there are a lot of members here who have been-there-done-that and gone through the same process that you are considering. Some are now eunuchs and some have held off. They are well worth talking to, probably best via the Private Messages. I have to say that I once had a very strong ( obsessive /compulsive ??) feeling for self castration. I almost did it. My discussions with, and advice from, various people here on EA caused me to rethink my plans which now are pretty much on hold. I now think that had I followed through, it would not have turned out well for me and I would have regretted it.

Hence the words of caution above. Good luck in sorting it all out

Francis (imported) wrote: Mon Jun 01, 2009 8:39 pm Tobias:

You don't say too much about yourself but may I observe that this may be an reaction of revulsion from your prior abuse from your father creating a resultant feeling of inadequacyand lack of self confidence.

Stoking up that Freudian crack pipe a bit? This is crack pot. The rest of your post, however, merits attention! Proceed, but do so well informed, and cautiously!