Mouse balls

[augman7518 (imported)]

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Subject: Fw: Mouse Balls

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>> Mouse Balls

>>

>> Mouse Balls and Mouse Ball Inspectors:

>>

>> I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face.

>> This was a real memo sent out by IBM to its employees in

>> all seriousness.

>> It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral

>> problem.

>> The author of this memo was quite genuine.

>> The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially note the last

>> couple of sentences.

>>

>>

>> 'If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform

>> erratically, it may need a ball replacement.

>> Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement

>> Units).

>> Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, a

>> replacement of mouse balls

>> should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

>>

>> Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls

>> by examining the underside of the mouse.

>> Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign

>> balls.

>>

>> Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the

>> manufacturer of the mouse.

>> Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method.

>> Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method.

>>

>> Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive.

>> However, excessive handling can result in sudden

>> discharge..

>>

>> Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used

>> immediately.

>> It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare

>> balls

>> for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction..

>>

>> Any customer missing his balls should contact the local

>> personnel in charge

>> of removing and replacing these necessary items.

>>

>> Please keep in mind that a customer without properly

>> working balls is an unhappy custome

[kristoff]

I haven't had a mouse with balls in years.... I wonder if mice with *blue teeth* are good for anything?

[Rusty Dai (imported)]

No, I didn't like them. The batteries make the mouse too heavy.

[streetglide (imported)]

While you're on the subject...if you go into a computer store and you're in the aisle filled with different models of these little devices....are you in an aisle full of mice, or mouses?

I actually broke down laughing a couple months ago thinking about this one while at Staples! I'm retarded!...and easily amused!

[twaddler (imported)]

Ahem! Meeces, of course.

[fhunter]

Ahem! Meeces, of course.And I thought I knew english....

Back on topic - in old days of balled mice, deballing epidemics were common. What students did later with removed mouse balls - I don't know, and don't want to know...

[StefanIsMe (imported)]

What students did later with removed mouse balls - I don't know, and don't want to know...

I know . Well, what we did, was steal all the mouse balls from the computers in the lab, and replace them with gum-balls a friend of mine discovered to be pretty much exactly the same size. they worked until they got wet and sticky, or were eaten.

Later, we used all the mouse balls up by sling-shotting them at old china plates we were gonna put in a yard sale but had far more fun blasting to smithereens with small, flying hard rubber spheres.

[theGelded1 (imported)]

I remember this joke from highschool

I also remember the the mass geldings to control the mouse population. At our school they took to melting the underside of the mouse so no unauthorized surgery would take place. This resulted in a few missing mice that later turned up squished and sans ball, and later in the replacement at great cost of mice with potency problems. A problem that would have been better solved if only each mouse was given a good screw

[DocT (imported)]

When I think about removing balls from mice I get a hard disk.