Need Help !!!

[MaleVirgin (imported)]

Hi

I found this site while doing a Google search and so decided to post here now before I go on I am very genuine and also worried about the things I’m doing, so when I explain I hope I don’t offend anyone as I want to be honest and see what the guys and gals think should be done.

Ok well I’m 42 male and I’m also a virgin I do have my reason for still being a virgin but rather not go there tbh as was bad experiences.

Ok as for my sexual problem since a very young age 9 or 10 I have been touching myself and learned how to masturbate, as I grew up I would do it a lot but when I was 13 or so I started to want girls/women to see my dick when hard and for them to see me masturbate and cum, I did it at school a few times and got suspended over it twice, and a little later when I was 14/15 I exposed myself to a young girl were I made her watch me and when I cum I came on her and ended up being arrested for it, nothing really happened from then, but I was still exposing myself and masturbating to young girls, when I left school I again got arrested for the same exposing and masturbating to a young girl, I was then sent to a young offenders like school for 6 months were I had to talk about what I was doing etc, while there I met two girls we were in a mini bus and they were talking about condoms etc and some reason I can’t think of when we got back to the school we all went into the girls toilets were they put the condom on me and I masturbated while they watched.. anyway the school thing come and went and for a few year I was still masturbating to girls mostly from the parents my mom and dad knew, I also would expose myself to the girls in the street, were some girls were curious and some wasn’t and got scared I guess.

Anyway time went on were what I was doing disappeared and if I was horny I would masturbate at home or a public toilet, that’s how it went on for many years up until the past 6 or 7 yrs. Were I started playing games online mostly a game called world of warcraft, and while doing this and I really don’t know why I would pm other players especially if they were female and tell them I was horny and masturbating, now I know a lot of males have female characters, but I wasn’t thinking I just watched some girl or woman to know, anyway I met some friends online and they were also playing world of warcraft and one day (Di I will call her) over chat asked if I was ok and I said yes and she said are you horny and I told her I was and she said ill give u ten minutes meaning to masturbate and sort myself out which I did, but from that day I had a fixation and wanted her permission to masturbate and all the time when she asked I would say horny, anyway at the time the exposing myself and masturbating was back, and I ended up telling |Di the problem I had and she was willing to help by allowing me to masturbate in front of her in person or on cam as long as I didn’t do it in public, I being selfish etc said o but I didn’t stop exposing myself, a would visit Di and her family and she would ask if I was horny and if I was we went downstairs were she would watch me masturbate and cum while her daughters and husband was upstairs, anyway this went on for a while, until I was visiting and was horny so decided to use the toilet to masturbate, so went in there and was in the middle of masturbating when the door opened and there was her daughter Nicole who was 14 at the time, we both were embarrassed and she said sorry and went out, but 2/3 minutes later she returned and said she wanted to watch else she would tell her mom or dad what I’m doing, and me not wanting her to do that I masturbated and cum in front of her and she was in her uniform which turned me on, and from that day I had a fixation for her sexually, and a few times she would watch me or help me, but then that was it I needed to stop what I was doing especial with young girls as they didn’t turn me on were I thought about sex but I did enjoy them seeing me hard and masturbating, so anyway u went to my gp were she tried a few thing anti-depression pills and a shrink which I saw for the past 18months but I was still exposing myself and masturbating to girls/women, so both my gp and shrink have now passed me onto another doctor that deals in people who have serious sexual problems, rape, incest etc

But she’s said some think needs to stop as I’m exposing myself to women but I’m also doing it to young girls as well as my own mom and she feels some think needs to be done, she asked me if I had a girl friend or boy friend etc and that’s when she knew I was single and also a virgin, and she went on to say there’s a couple of options 1 is physical castration which she recommends as it’s a long term treatment and will take my sex drive away so I can’t get an erection to want to expose myself and to masturbate, but although she recommends that she has to try methods were its reversible were the medication will course so I can’t get sexually aroused which is called chemical castration which is taken orally twice a day, she did say it has a feminine hormone which deduces the testrome my balls make and then reduced the my sex drive to 0 once the pill kicks in, she did say about side effects etc but she feels I’m at a stage were some think needs to be done about my sex drive and if it continues she thinks I will do more than expose and masturbate in public to young girls/women etc what that means I don’t know, anyway the drug she wants me on is called (ANDROCUR) and its purely for stopping the male sexdrive, before I take this she’s booked me into my gp for a blood test as she says the pill effects the liver so they need to monitor and she did say once blood test is done they can test to see if I am taking the drug then if I’m not, then she feels she needs to take control of my medication were then I will have to sign a form were I give her permission to take over my drug control were then I will either go to my gp or to her hospital and have an injection either once a month or two, but she says if I fail then they can come to the house and make sure I have the medication, now is this true and is she allowed to do this ?

Anyway going back to the ANDROCUR does that really stop me being able to get hard and to masturbate and cum or now, also for the people that have used it how long does it take before it kicks in and what are the side effects, I know it’s at the stage now were I don’t have a say but I would like to know, if I’m honest I don’t like exposing myself especially to young girls but when I’m at the horny mood I really don’t care how the other person feels, until I’ve made myself cum the guilt and hate I have for myself is extreme, but then I get horny again and all that goes out the window, not part of my wants my sex drive gone forever so I’m sexual dead, but I guess the selfish side wants to continue with what I’m doing, now I cant start the medication until I’ve had the blood test which is this Friday but I’m after as much into and feedback I can get.

Thanks and I’m really sorry about the long post but I’ve missed a lot out, and hope u can get the jest of what im saying as im not very good at explaing things. so sorry for that.

[kennath7 (imported)]

There sounds like there is more than just excessive sex drive

The drug that you are asking about is a drug used for chem. Castration

Since I do not know much about that drug I will not offer advice about it

But what I can explain is if you have psychological issues castration may not be the answer

Let me explain

There are many men who have been surgically castrated and can still get hard enough to masturbate

Castration dose not change your thinking patterns you may still want to do every thing you do now but with out balls

Before going to such drastic measures I would seek out a therapist

But of coarse if you want to be castrated then taken the chem. Suggested to you would be a good first step

Read on castration and do lots of research there many good people hear on

This board that have posted their personal experiences of what they have went through and or are going through now

And you also have the ability to ask questions on things not covered

Here is but one of many links

go to eunuch central and click on castration primer very good arttical

welcome to the zoo and good luck

[MaleVirgin (imported)]

Yeah i have been seeing a therapist for over 14months, and she passed me on to this specialist in sexual problems and now wants me on ANDROCUR asap, although long term cure she as mentioned physical castration maybe needed. as then she feels if i no longer have a sex drive then i cant get aroused to get hard and masturbate infront of people.

part of me wants her to kill my sex drive so i can never get hard, never masturbate or cum again, put part of me likes what im doing althought others dont.

[MaleVirgin (imported)]

Im so scared of taking this ANDROCUR from some of the posts ive read what the side effects are, will admit the size reduction of balls and penis doesnt really bother me in away it does what people mention being feminized, will admit since i was little ive always wanted to be a girl but (real), id like alot more info about this feminization that people talk about, but with the serious problem i have of exposing myself and i need to be honest here i do it to young girls/women and even my own mom, but when i do it i dont care how they feel as long as i get my rocks off, after i admit i have pure hate for myself, and the doctor who as put me on this she says i lucky i havnt been arrested as if i was i would be problery put of the sex offenders register in the uk and maybe classed as a paedophile now that scares me i dont want that, but i like being hard, masturbating and cumming infront of females, but its at the stage now were there is no turning back, shes told me that if i fail to take this drug, then i will have to sign a form or my mom will givin her the doctor control of my mediccation and that will mean either me going to my local doctor to be injected (she didnt say name of the drug) and if i fail she will come to my house and make sure, i dunno if im honest im terrified.

[Paolo]

There are plenty of posts here on Androcur, and you can find them using the SEARCH feature: http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/search.php

I'll be quite blunt about it: if your therapist wants you to try it, based on what you posted here, I think you should give it a go before you get into more serious trouble. Make sure that she and a physician monitor you. Not everyone will have all of, or the same, side effects from a drug.

There are plenty of members here who have used it, and can give you advice.

It is interesting as well, that we discussed something similar on another thread about why a young boy would want to expose himself to others. Can you think of anything that might have been the trigger in this during childhood? Just out of curiosity?

[ramses (imported)]

I'm glad you understand that you need help and that you doing what you need to do. I wouldn't be afraid of the Androcur as you can quit taking it and the effects wear off (there is a point of no return though). You may also be able to adjust the level to where you can still get hard or even masturbate but it takes a lot of work and isn't really on your mind much.

It's good that you can get help before ending up in jail and on the registry. It's not your fault you were wired the way you are but you know that it is wrong to expose yourself to people (especially children). As long as you know that it is wrong and you want to help yourself, you will find support and friendship here and maybe make a few friends.

Good luck with the treatment and I congradulate you for seeking help. One thing the therapist probably won't tell you though is you will need to find something new to occupy yourself as life can suddenly be boring without sex always on your mind. Find a hobby or activity and just try different things. Walking or other exercise is really good for you with any kind of castration and helps fight depression as well.

[MaleVirgin (imported)]

The doctor shes said i have to take 2 a day morning and night, but had to have a blood test before i start which ive since had, but i still havnt took my first tablet as part of me (i guess the selfish part) wants to carry on doing what i am, but i dunno 5% says do it think of the people you have done this to, then people (mostly female) tell me not having a sex life anymore isnt important, easy for them to say as ive masturbated for many years, my mom (sad to say i know) as offerd to make sure i take the medication and shes like all the rest not being able to get hard and masturbate isnt the end of the world.

But anyway one asked what started the whole thing exposing myself to females and masturbating i dont want to go into it but had a bad experence at school, which then led to my being sexually abused by two girls for many years, were they would make me show my penis get it hard and masturbate, but they did alot more then that but not even going there.

I am greatfull to those that have replied and i have read many comments from peolple taking them, now i dont really have a choice if i dont take them then doctor can force but using injections, but can someone explain what that mean by feminization i know about the breast thing which freaks me out, and like i say read about the reduce in penis and ball size which hand on heart i dont care about, anyway im rambling on sorry about that.

To be Honest the thought of not being able to get HARD, MASTURBATE and CUM freaks me out when ive been doing it from the age of 9/10, i know there right (female) and some of you guys prob think say i cant expose myself but part of me feels im doing nothing wrong but when my own mom think when i just get up and drop my trousers thinks i will rape her fs i wouldnt hurt a fly if im honest, but therapist says although i havnt hurt anyone physically i have mentally and i dont understand but i am thick lol.

[Jean Op den Kamp (imported)]

Hi

Welcome. So you need help! Do you think that will be easy? I can promise you nothing, your problem seems a bit complicated. But I'm willing to try

First let me introduce myself

I am on androcur. 250 mg/day just offers me the comfort of not having early morning erections waking me up, and it saves me from the discomfort of walking around with a hard-on in situations that turn me on. But any moment I use the power inside my mind, I can get an erection and I am able to ejaculate. Compared to my mind, androcur is just weak piss.

Long years ago, I 've been accused of child molesting, and as for the accuses I have to say, not guilty. I can asure you that that was hard to take.

After about 14 days in custody, I found myself in an elevator in jail together with eleven other inmates. They had found out.... As the doors locked, two people did nothing, nine persons were hidding an kicking me where-ever they could. As I walked out of the elevator I had a concussion and I was in shock

They put me in an isolation cell to protect me from myself and late that night they had a doctor to look after me. He ordered me librium to calm me down.

About an hour later I got the medication. It took about ten minutes before I could feel the drug trying to control my mind. That was when the horror started. My mind didn't accept this attack of the drug. I lost control over that power I am talking about. It became frightfully. I am still scared about what happened.

On of the warders later told me, that he with one colleague had the view over the monitors to watch me. As I turned my eyes to the camera a certain moment, even behind the monitor he became scared. All the bad memerories, every thing bad he knew about came back to him, even the fair from his childhood for something under his bed. Only this time it didn't stay there, it attacked him. He got the feeling to shut down the monitor and run.

They had to order assistance as one of my attackers before, now tried to kill himself (by mistake the peanutbutter was in glasses and not in plastic) and another one was running his head to the door of his cel.

It is the same power, I am using everyday to expose myself to children. I don't need to say a word to get in contact and I offer them respect and peace. I am in full control of this power and I love the responsibility that goes with it. Don't worry, they are perfectly save. In no way I am going to harm them. I can control myself very well, no doubts about that. But if I remember the effect of librium I become scared. What if, at any time I get a similar drug with my food or a new medicine. As I said, androcur is weak piss, I want a real castration. I don't want to accept that testosterone can ever take over , if I loose the control over my power once more

There is a little piece of the devil and a piece of god in all of us. They are only the two extreme limits of one person, and alltogether the living people, together with every-one who has died before,...We are HIM. And we are his equals. You are no less than that

Where you seem to have lost your war, my devil is waiting somewhere far out of sight. He is scared. He knows that if he shows up, I will lift a mirror and I will ad all my evil powers to that reflection to destroy him. He doesn't have the slightest chance, but he is willing to wait for it.

If you want me to help you, I am going to force me a way into your mind.

It is up to you, if you don't want it, just piss of, if you trust me, please try to answer the following question:

When did you lost your war?

One thing more, you are afraid of the results of the androcur. What the hell is wrong with being afraid in your situation. Tell your doctor that you need the feeling that somebody is keeping an eye on you (on the effects and side effects)

Please offer us some effort to answer that question

loveU

Jean

[MaleVirgin (imported)]

I guess i lost the war the first time i got arrested for exposing myself to a young girl and making her watch me masturbate untill i made myself cum and i did it on her.

Maybe i should ask for the if she can physically castrate me.

[Jean Op den Kamp (imported)]

I guess i lost the war the first time i got arrested for exposing myself to a young girl and making her watch me masturbate untill i made myself cum and i did it on her.

Maybe i should ask for the if she can physically castrate me.

That is an answer very close to what I like to find out.

Maybe you first stop running into a panic looking for the future, getting castrated is something to think about once you found yourself.

Come back to that first time and forget about the arrest.

I am talking about loosing that war inside yourself, the fight between your good side and your bad side.

I will change the question for you:

When did you fight???

loveU

Jean