Castration Station - Revised

[Unregistered (imported)]

Superb concept, but, at least IMHO, could have been executed a bit better. Long, run-on paragraphs make the action a bit hard to follow. So I've revised it to this:

Castration Station

The camera pans over an auditorium full of very happy women who are getting into the display on the stage.

The spokeswoman starts and after each question the crowd answers back soundly with a YES.

"Are you sick of the way your man is treating you?"

YES

"Is he less than honest with you?"

YES

"Does he forget to do what you ask without a major problem?"

YES

"Does he neglect to do his fair share of the work around your place?"

YES

"Does he put himself before you sexually?"

YES

"Well if you answered YES to even one of these questions do we ever have a quick and permanant solution to these questions. The Castration Station will fix the problems you are having with him. This is what comes in one convenient kit, no Assembly required.

"A locking Headstock.

"An inflatable gag.

"Handcuffs and Key.

"A spreader bar with attached ankle cuffs.

"A piece of rope.

"An Elastator with fifty bands.

"Twenty-five Rohypnol pills.

"Legal consent forms.

"And a razor sharp Ginsu knife.

" 'How much is this?' you ask. You get all this for $99.95. That's right, only $99.95. And if you call within 24 hours you get this shipped freight and tax free.

"Let's breakdown the price after we show you how easy the Castration Station is to use. First let's bring out on stage one lucky customer. Please welcome Deb.

(Applause)

"She is here tonight with her husband Dan, who is backstage. She gave him a Rohypnol earlier to take the edge off. Deb, show us how easy the Castration Station is to get ready."

Deb opens the wooden box, which is about the size of a card table and opens it up into a platform. Inside the box are all the parts. She picks up the headstock and positions it at one end of the platform, locking it down.

"That's all it take to get ready for her husband. Please bring him out."

Out walks Dan, nude, being led by two women, to a shower of boos.

"Now watch closely to see how easy this is."

Deb takes her husband and has him kneel on the platform. She takes him by the neck and gently pushes his head down and into the stock. Then she closes the upper part locking him in place.

"Now put on the Handcuffs."

Deb picks them up and cuffs Dan's hands behind his back.

"Now the adjustable spreader bar with ankle cuffs."

Deb puts Dan's ankles in the cuffs, loosens an eyebolt, spreads the bar apart, and tightens the eyebolt.

"Notice how this keeps him in a head-down kneeling position, with his legs spread and his balls are easy to access.

"This is good time to put the inflatable gag in his mouth."

Deb puts the gag in Dan's mouth and pumps it up.

"Next take the rope with the slipknot and slip it over his balls.

"Put two of the bands on the rope.

"Now put the end through the eyebolt on the spreader bar.

"Now pull it snug and tie it off.

"He is now ready to go. Easy, wasn't it?"

The crowd goes wild.

"Now the fun part."

Deb picks up the Elastator.

Now slip the four posts through one of the bands on the rope, and open it up."

She does, and the band stretches out into a box.

"Slide this box up over his balls about a half inch from his dick."

Deb follows the instructions. (This whole time a camera is showing closeups of the process on large TVs on the stage.)

"When you're ready, Deb, release the band."

The crowd chants "Release the Band!"

And with a big smile Deb releases the band, which quickly squeezes Dan's bag down to about a dime size. (Dan starts to try to move, to no avail.) The crowd roars.

"Now Deb, repeat the band process, but put this one above the other, as close to his penis as you can."

Deb does it quickly and releases the final band.

"Lets have a big hand for Deb and her soon-to-be Eunuch Dan."

Once again the crowd gets loud.

"Let's leave Dan alone for an hour or so, but lets bring out Laurie and her eunuch Jim for the finishing touches."

Out onto the stage comes out Laurie, and two women are pushing another Castration Station behind her.

"We prepared Jim a little over an hour ago so you could see the finished product."

The girls spin Jim around.

"You can see his swollen and dark balls.

"Are you ready, Laurie?"

Laurie picks up the knife.

Now Laurie, take the knife and just cut between the two bands."

Laurie does, and Jim's sack plops off into a bag. The crowd goes wild hooting and clapping.

"See how easy that was? Who wouldn't want a Castration Station of their own. But wait, here is where we do the math. Each Station comes with enough bands to process 25 males. Devide that into $99.95 and it comes out to be less than $4.00 per male or $2.00 per ball. You can't go wrong. So call 1-XXX-XXX-XXXX and have your, his, credit card ready. and line up 24 of your friends for your very own Castration Station Party. We'll beak now so you can call, and when we return, we'll show you Dan's final moments as a man."

(The interlude is filled with pictures of happy wives and their eunuchs, and testimonials scroll across the screen from satisfied customers.)

Now let's get back to Dan. Deb are you ready to finish him up?"

Deb nods her head, smiling.

"Go for it."

She picks up the knife, and with one quick slice Dan is a eunuch.

"And that's it! See how easily you can improve your husband and your marriage!"

(Note : The LAST thing I need is some company with that real number harassing me!)

Thank you for a really exciting idea.