Airline Announcements
Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:25 pm
Airline Announcements
A Southwest Airlines flight attendant announced, People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
On landing, the stewardess said, Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
There are may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane.
After particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that.
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.
Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.
As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......except for the gentleman over there.
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are wondering. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault; it was the asphalt.
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
A Southwest Airlines flight attendant announced, People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
On landing, the stewardess said, Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
There are may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane.
After particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that.
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.
Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.
As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......except for the gentleman over there.
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are wondering. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault; it was the asphalt.
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.