Castrated To Entertain The Femdom Club

[I Worship Women (imported)]

I wrote this story and just wanted to know what others here thought of it. Do others here like this story?

[kenny1016 (imported)]

I liked the story. Nice description of the castration, but you didn't describe how she broke his penis. Is it possible to break a penis?

[fyi1963a (imported)]

I just wanted to state that my wife and I have a now post op trannie for a pet. She related after her castration she was still able to have orgasms internally with prostate generated, plus she still had erections for piss hards if you will but they as you know go away quickly after you take a leak. I did enjoy your story as a whole but being the analytical geek that I am I had to add my two cents.

[DeaconBlues (imported)]

I just don't know how to say this...

On one hand, I really would never want to discourage anyone from writing or any other artistic expression.

On the other hand, your writing could use some serious improvement. And the mistakes you made were distracting and detracted significantly from what could be a very good story.

I never want to sound like "one of the grammar police." You know the sort, the ones who rip apart your best efforts with no thought at all to the effort and feeling that you put into your writing. Obviously, what you wrote was important for you, otherwise you would not have gone to the trouble to write it at all, but you know, for your effort to be properly appreciated by others you need to present it in ways that helps your readers to also feel as you feel.

Throughout the story, I found several phrases that were repeated, over and over again, and repeated again, then they were said is a somewhat different way, and then the phrase was repeated and said again, and it was again repeated and needlessly then, someone had to say it again.... See what I mean? That is a really wasteful use of words to get my idea across, but I was demonstrating in one paragraph what I was feeling as I read your story.

I won't beat a dead horse, you can just re-read your story and look for repeated phrases or ideas, you will find them and hopefully, delete them.

In the same vein as the mind-numbing repetition, there was the extensive discussion on rolling up sleeves... Now I totally understand that the image of a woman with her sleeves rolled up turns you on, but most of your readers are not so turned on by that sleeve rolling thing like you are. So, in ADDITION to a brief mention of the sleeves, might you also describe a few OTHER arousing things about the lady? Here, I will offer a short bit of an idea:

"After she looked at the surgical instruments and made certain they were sterilized and all layed out in proper order, she turned and walked over to the sink. 'Now cleanliness is extremely important ladies, so I and my assistants will scrub up and put on surgical gloves...' she spoke to the roomful of women. Then, she stepped back to the side of her patient and looked down at him as she rolled up her sleeves, her voice changed slightly as she spoke directly to the man on the operating table, 'You won't have to worry about any infections, see? We will be keeping things nice and sterile, and you will permanently sterile in at least one way.' Several of the women laughed, more at his reaction to her remark rather than 'permanently sterile' remark itself. Through the gag he tried to say something, his pleading eyes shifting from her face to watch her delicate hands carefully rolling the cuffs on her sleeves up past her elbows. Her eyes seemed to bore into his mind and he could not bear to look directly at her face. The doctor was not truly sadistic, but she did enjoy building the fear up in this man, and so when she saw his eyes fixated on her hands, the hands that would soon be permanently changing him, she slowed her movements slightly, making every movement with slightly exaggerated gravity. He was so hypnotized by her hand that he did not see the sly smile come to her face. The other women quickly noticed this and now were really amused by it, but they kept quiet and smiled now as they watched her deftly playing with this man..."

Here, I actually pulled a full paragraph out of relatively few events, but I only mentioned "sleeves rolling" twice. The second mention was eroticized a bit because I know you like that image.

Honestly, I LIKED the story, but the writing needs improvement.

[inked4ever (imported)]

I wrote this story and just wanted to know what others here thought of it. Do others here like this story?

I LOVE the story. Would also like a better link to their add in Craigs List.

Sounds VERY interesting.