Hi Everyone,

I'm Elizabeth, a 47 year old MtF transsexual. I came out of the closet almost five years ago and have been living as a woman full time since then. I suffer from a chronic pain disorder called Fibromyalgia, which forced me to stop working 7 years ago. I live on disability with my new wife and 3 teenage sons. I divorced my first wife who was not accepting of the beautiful inner me that was dying to get out. In fact, I almost did suceed in killing myself except for some reason 35 vicodin did not kill me.

I don't hate my penis and testicles, but I also don't want or need them. In fact my testicles continue to produce testosterone which is the enemy. I also hate having to tuck or be reminded of my penis with every step I take. However, on disability I will never have the money to transition. However, I might be able to come up with the money for castration. That would suit my purposes, at least for now.

My new wife is very accepting of who I am and loves me anyway. While we do still have sex using the "equipment", we don't need to and many times we do not use the "equipment". While I do enjoy sex, it's mostly the loving and touching and caring that I like the most. While castration is likely to kill my sex drive and make having erections more difficult, we really don't need them and I am expecting to get a lot of relief not having to think about an erect penis all the time.

So while many of you have castration as your only goal, for me it's a compromise solution. Only a part of what I want.

Thanks for reading.

Elizabeth

Others who know this first hand will probably have better comments but I would like to suggest that from what I've read TS women come in a wide variety. There are some that choose not to do SRS etc. Thats ok. Others do and thats also cool. Money to do this? Its tough and getting much harder with the economy. Creative thinking! And btw when you find ways to make big bucks please tell me!

Natal women have very little Testosterone yet in the "mix" they have which is mostly Estrogen and a little Testosterone they have very healthy sex drives. Its not (My opnion) the hormone but the mix thats important. Some TS women (and natal) women would probably tell you that female sexuality is in many ways similar to male sexuality and in others while different in subtle ways. But! its still there.

Male levels of Testosterone are not what you want but don't be averse to having levels that are purely female. Its possible that by not trying to reach a true female balance you might be giving up on having a proper female sexuality.

Good luck! And yes, all of this stuff I've said is mostly personal opinion and not expert advice.

Elizabeth (imported) wrote: Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:32 pm Hi Everyone,

I'm Elizabeth, a 47 year old MtF transsexual. I came out of the closet almost five years ago and have been living as a woman full time since then. I suffer from a chronic pain disorder called Fibromyalgia, which forced me to stop working 7 years ago. I live on disability with my new wife and 3 teenage sons. I divorced my first wife who was not accepting of the beautiful inner me that was dying to get out. In fact, I almost did suceed in killing myself except for some reason 35 vicodin did not kill me.

Dear Elizabeth,

Thanks for sharing part of your story with us and welcome. I am glad you did not succeed in killing yourself although I know how painful life can be at times. It sounds like since you started living as a woman, you are doing a lot better.

Elizabeth (imported) wrote: Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:32 pm I don't hate my penis and testicles, but I also don't want or need them. In fact my testicles continue to produce testosterone which is the enemy. I also hate having to tuck or be reminded of my penis with every step I take. However, on disability I will never have the money to transition. However, I might be able to come up with the money for castration. That would suit my purposes, at least for now.

First, I want to congratulate because you have transitioned by living full-time as a woman for nearly 5years. Hormones and/or surgery are not requirements for transitioning. Living as yourself, as a woman, means you fit the definition of someone who has transitioned. I am probably pointing out the obvious, but I mention it because transitioning is a huge step. It takes a lot of courage, confidence and trust in yourself. There are many people who want to transition but never get as far as you have.

You transitioned at about age 42. When I was that age, I was not brave enough to do that. I am now 56.

I transitioned in May of 2008 before I started hormones and I have never been happier. I am glad you are doing well despite your health challenges.

Many MtF transsexuals do undergo castration and go no further with surgery.

Elizabeth (imported) wrote: Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:32 pm My new wife is very accepting of who I am and loves me anyway. While we do still have sex using the "equipment", we don't need to and many times we do not use the "equipment". While I do enjoy sex, it's mostly the loving and touching and caring that I like the most. While castration is likely to kill my sex drive and make having erections more difficult, we really don't need them and I am expecting to get a lot of relief not having to think about an erect penis all the time.

So while many of you have castration as your only goal, for me it's a compromise solution. Only a part of what I want.

I was taking a testosterone blocker for months before I transitioned and I was glad to be mostly rid of erections. I definitely relate to how you feel about this.

Thanks for reading.

Elizabeth

Elizabeth, I am very glad you wrote.

Hugs,

Danya