Hello there, my name is Nate. I'm a 20 year old gay male living in Southern California, and I have strong feelings towards becoming a eunuch.

I already know it's a bad idea to get castrated so young, due to the fact that I most likely still have growing and developing to do from puberty. I came here looking for a helping hand in discussing my obsession that I'm sure most of you have had as well.

As a kid, I didn't like the idea of sexuality. I didn't want to grow up and I found myself very upset when puberty was starting to set in. I had never considered getting my bits removed though, because I honestly didn't think it was possible. I didn't know people did that! I actually didn't know what the word eunuch meant or that people still became eunuchs until I was 16 which was, coincidentally, the same year I had my first orgasm and learned about masturbation. (Yes, I was a very sheltered kid)

Now, four years after learning what a Eunuch was, I find myself fantasizing sexually about being castrated. I don't know if it's odd, but even after orgasm I didn't stop wanting to become a eunuch. I did find myself worrying about what people would think or what my family would say, which I found to be the only 'against castration' in my argument.

I don't really know where to go from here, though. I'm worried that if I don't act medically I'll harm myself with my sexual fantasies. This fact was manifested best when I tied my balls up just a little bit too tight and had to quickly panic to find scissors and hold them still in my shaky hands to free myself.

What do you guys think I should do? Therapy? Chemical castration? Wait a couple years and see if it's still as strong a want as it's always been?

~ Nate

Welcome to the EA. Many of us have shared your thoughts and interests. I finally became a eunuch after years of contemplation. When I was struggling with my issues I did not have a computer or had any idea the EA existed. The EA is a great resource with much information available and members willing to exchange information.

If you find yourself getting more serious about castration you can test drive the effects by chemical castration to see if it is for you. This is a mostly reversible method that you can quit if it is not right for you. Again there is much information about chem castration available.

Good luck in your search for answers and feel free to ask questions. This is a good community.

I started having castration thoughts when I began puberty and like you have never been comfortable with sex.. of the male role in sex... however I have put off the very strong urge to castrate myself for years because I know it is a fetish... and I am not 100% sure I want to live as a eunuch...

Your story is much like mine when I was younger. I just never felt right having testicles. I spent about 20 years contemplating this, at first thinking I was a transexual (after all, they have their balls removed), then it evolved over time to being simply a desire to become a eunuch. About 3 years ago I went ahead and had myself castrated and am very happy.

I would recommend waiting to get this done, possibly for many years. I wanted it done at age 15 and waited until I was 35 to go through with it. I wanted to be sure this was the right move for me.

Feel free to contact me in private with any questions you have. I know at your age I wish I would have had someone to talk to about this.

--LT

Cocoaotter (imported) wrote: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:02 pm I find myself fantasizing sexually about being castrated. I don't know if it's odd, but even after orgasm I didn't stop wanting to become a eunuch. I did find myself worrying about what people would think or what my family would say, which I found to be the only 'against castration' in my argument.

This statement has a big warning sign in it. Fantasizing about being a eunuch is a sign of a fetish or just plain fantasy feelings. Being sexually aroused shows you have sexual feelings with the thoughts of being an eunuch. This type of thought is common in this site. It is what brings a great many to the site. Good number of the stories are based in a guy being castrated. Many do orgasm at the point in the story when the guy is cut. The stories and thoughts are for the most part harmless.

Cocoaotter (imported) wrote: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:02 pm I don't really know where to go from here, though. I'm worried that if I don't act medically I'll harm myself with my sexual fantasies. This fact was manifested best when I tied my balls up just a little bit too tight and had to quickly panic to find scissors and hold them still in my shaky hands to free myself.

Think you already have answered yourself. You have strong sexual fantasies. Hey you are a young guy and that is very normal. Around 20 years of age is when most are reaching the peak of their hormone levels of their life. Think you need to just keep your control and all will be fine.

Cocoaotter (imported) wrote: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:02 pm What do you guys think I should do? Therapy? Chemical castration? Wait a couple years and see if it's still as strong a want as it's always been?

Think the last thing you should do is any type of chemical castration or castration at the present time. Find yourself a therapist that deals with sexual matters. This stage in your life will pass. In a few years you will be wanting to have the strong sexual urges back. The urges do drop off and keep dropping as you age. You need to have many good reasons to become a eunuch. Just I want to be one is not a good one.

~ Nate

I answered your questions in bold type.

Wish you all the best

I'm another, "I was like you." I started abusing my balls when I was in my early twenties, even though I was married. In fact, I got my young wife to squeeze them to the point of extreme pain. This went on for years. I didn't fully become a eunuch until my late forties, which I think is a good age, though it differs for everyone.

If you are self harming yourself, you might want to consider chemical castration, otherwise you might castrate yourself without really wanting too.

Hash (imported) wrote: Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:32 pm I'm another, "I was like you." I started abusing my balls when I was in my early twenties, even though I was married. In fact, I got my young wife to squeeze them to the point of extreme pain. This went on for years. I didn't fully become a eunuch until my late forties, which I think is a good age, though it differs for everyone.

If you are self harming yourself, you might want to consider chemical castration, otherwise you might castrate yourself without really wanting too.

or worse end up in the ER answering some very embarrassing questions

and paying expensive med. Bills

or dead

listen to the good advice and be safe

Nate:

take your time, try to enjoy the sexuality and experience as much as you can while still young. there is alot of time infront of you to make a choice. and if you think you might be doing something harmful talk to someone. if after a while you still decide castration is important to you, try chemical it worked really well for me.

Dave

Assuming that "cocoaotter" is a valid inquiry, you definitely need to spend time browsing the postings here and search the internet also.

You said: "

Cocoaotter (imported) wrote: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:02 pm I did find myself worrying about what people would think or what my family would say, which I found to be the only 'against castration' in my argument.

"

Well, there are MANY reasons against castration, all of which are valid.

I can say this now, from experience: First, try to figure out WHY you want to be castrated. Do your own introspection. It took me 40 plus years to finally admit to myself why I developed a desire for castration, which was when I was about 18. Now that I have worked through that I still enjoy my castration and eunuch fantasies, but have lost the craving and desire to actually go through a physical castration.

It is not that long ago that there were no support groups or internet to help one learn, understand, figure stuff out.

Be patient. Enjoy the fantasy and endure the frustrations. Many things in life can be done over or undone. Castration and amputation can not be undone. If there is even a tiny .001% doubt, then accept a life of being a castration wannabe and enjoy the ongoing fantasy of desire.

While having the fantasy or desire of wanting to be a eunuch applies to a very small percentage of the population, such thoughts do not necessarily mean that one needs outside therapy, unless you really want it. Perhaps your goal is to be rid of thoughts of castration and you don't want to take the time or risk to try and work through this on your own; go for professional therapy.

I would say, again from personal experience, the point at which one should seriously consider professional therapy is before one starts to inflict serious self-inflicted injury. This to me is an indication that one has crossed the line from fantasy and desire into another realm that might lead to ER, hospitalization, permanent undesired damage, or worse.

As long as your secret desires provide you with some mental, emotional and physical diversions that don't evolve into mental, emotional or physical harm to harm to yourself or to others this will give you time to evaluate why you have this desire or fantasy and in the long run learn if you really 100% absolutely must be a eunuch, or should only go so far.

Thank you all for your help, including those that have been sending me private messages.

My primary concern is that I may get myself into trouble. I act much differently when I'm aroused compared to when I'm not, and it's when I'm aroused that I tend to make decisions regarding castration that are hasty and very careless. When I first perused the EA forums I had accepted that I was most likely just fantasizing about castration and should enjoy it, but it seems to have gone downhill from there.

The idea hasn't ever left my mind since I discovered people can actually get rid of their balls (Sheltered kid, yup!), and the urges to act on them just get stronger every day. It's gotten to the point where I rarely stop actively thinking about it, which is what provoked me to come on here.

I realize that sexual attraction towards the idea is a warning sign that it's a bad idea, but castration itself is not a sexual fantasy for me. I feel like if I were a eunuch, I'd have better control over my life and where I'm headed, and it may help me stay healthier in the long run. When I'm aroused, for example... I make very poor decisions. That sexual fog fills my head up so badly I choose to have sexual relations with people unprotected, or without checking if they're clean before doing so. I actually try to avoid sexual contact with people now because of this.

It's that issue that has prevented me from having close-contact relationships. Every single one I've had has been with someone miles away from me who I only meet every now and again.

I don't want to sound like I'm whining, but it's not just a case of "Wow, it'd be awesome to be a eunuch".

~ Nate

Edit: Null, I didn't mean that quote the way it came out. I wasn't saying there aren't many reasons to not get castrated. I meant I have done research and read forums and postings and decided that what my friends and family would think was the only reason I would have trouble dealing with.