Your forum is very interesting. Thanks.

Unfortunately it doesn't help me to finally get rid of the parts of my body I always hated!

Since I remember, I dreamed of being "genderless" but my environement and education didn't permit such thoughts! So I got more and more depressed. Sure, I tried to "solve" the problem from time to time, piercing my scrotum with dirty needles or tiing up my balls. But without success!

Then I worked hard as a seaman in order to somehow forget about my concerns.

Being now 61, I can say that my sexual life has been desastrous. I always loved men and perhaps found some kind of satisfaction (without erections and few orgasms) with active gays.

At the age of 36, I met a woman, who fell in love with me in spite of my very poor sex performances! She doesn't care, so we married! I was glad to have a home and somebody to talk to when I came back after 6 to 9 months spent at sea. But my wife started to require some attentions of me, so I had to do the job, using a vacuum-pump for that miserable piece of meat and switching off all the lights in the bedroom. And this happened 2 to 3 times a year! Already too much for me. Of course I liked my wife, but now I understand that I was never looking for a wife, but for a mother or sister!

Now, she's gone, of course and I am retired. Time enoug to think about my life, the lost time and the steady obsession and need to soon get emasculated.I want to spend the rest of my days as an eunuch, as I always so craved for. But the problem never ends. I can't find any doctor in my country, who would agree to do that. Asking only is considered as a crime! However, my left (undescended) shrunk testicle will be legaly removed soon! It's a beginning but doesn'help me so much once again. I also questionned meds in Thailand. One answered telling me, that he would not do this surgery (penectomy, castration and scrotum) but only SRS!

I feel really helpless and distressed.

I would be very grateful, if someone could help me.

Sorry for my bad english but I hope you all understand.

Best regards.

Find a licensed doctor. That's the best way and always the safest. I would exhaust myself looking for a doctor. You might find a gay or lesbian doctor who would be more sympathetic. If you can go to Thailand, there are numerous doctors who still do straight castrations.

If you cannot, then your options are limited. If you castrate yourself you'll no end up on the news and in the emergency room. If I could do it again I would hire a woman to use an elastrator on me, it's cheap, effective, and relatively quick. There are always women in need of money. Extreme pain for the first hour or two is the hardest part unless you can get things numb down below. You might look for a nurse who's in need of money and pay her. Don't try any back alley bimbo, you might die.