Transsexual Fun Facts

[Danya (imported)]

I chose not to put this in the 'Jokes, Humor...' section because this was written by a trans woman to her coworkers. The idea was to answer some common questions and concerns people have when a fellow employee transitions. One woman's take on what it means to be transsexual, it manages to be entertaining while it informs. Courtsey of the Transsexual Road Map web site http://www.tsroadmap.com/reality/jobtrans.html

Transsexual fun facts

[Our Executive Creative Director] asked me to write up a little information that addresses common questions I get.

How did you choose your name?

I changed my last name to my first because I wanted some connection to my birth name, but I wanted it to be a little indirect. It's also the last name of one of my favorite novelists (Henry) as well as that of a notorious outlaw (although I learned from the Brady Bunch not to idolize Jesse).

I chose my first name mainly because it's common, but not too common, and because I had no major associations with that name. Some rejected names were: Fontasia L'Amour, Anita Drink, Amanda B. Reckonedwith...

Wow, so you wanted to be even trendier than Ellen DeGeneres?

It's nothing new, but it's been in the media more lately. Transgenderism appears throughout history and is documented worldwide. Medical advances in this century have made it possible for male-to-female transsexuals to achieve nearly identical physiology as genetic females.

Most people don't differentiate between sex and gender. Basically, sex is biological, gender is social. There really isn't much difference between men and women physiologically-- just a chromosome and a couple of chemical levels. The bulk of the difference is social. From the earliest age, boys are expected to act this way, and girls are expected to act that way. Because these social pressures are so pervasive, they almost seem natural unless you step back and think about them.

So, this is a sex issue?

Because the word transsexual has the word "sex" in it, people often think it's mostly about sex. While that's sometimes part of it, transsexuals are usually more interested in getting their bodies to match their feelings. For me, it's really about how I am perceived in day-to-day situations.

So, this is a gender issue?

Yep. There are many kinds of transgender people, and among them are transsexuals. transgender is a general term for crossdressers, transsexuals, female and male impersonators, drag queens/kings, intersexuals, gender dysphorics, and those for whom other gender labels do not fit. I usually tell people I'm a transsexual to be specific, and that I'm part of the transgender community, which encompasses all of us.

I totally understand your situation. After all, I saw "Tootsie."

No, it's not like "Tootsie," or "Some Like It Hot," or "Bosom Buddies" or "Mrs. Doubtfire." Comedies like those are funny because the male characters are forced by necessity to dress as women, after which the hilarity and hijinks ensue. The Ladies' Night guys for Bud Light are funny in the same way, because in the real world they would never pass as women. Let's hope I'm not humorous for the same reason.

So, more like RuPaul?

Um, no. RuPaul is a drag queen, as is Dolly Parton. They are entertainers who use excessive femininity in their acts. Torch Song Trilogy, La Cage Aux Folles, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, the Birdcage, Paris Is Burning-- they're all about drag queens. In the same vein are female illusionists whose goal is to portray a convincing act of femininity onstage and sometimes off. Maybe you saw The Crying Game or have been to the Baton nightclub. Those would be examples of very good female illusionists (they get touchy about the word "impersonator," and you don't want one of them mad at you.

So, more like Marv Albert?

Um, no. Marv had a crossdressing fetish of some sort. Same with Dennis Rodman, J. Edgar Hoover, and a huge list of other rather masculine men. Crossdressers get sexual or emotional satisfaction from touching or wearing women's clothing. Almost all are straight males. The generally accepted number is around 1 in 50 men. Do the math, and that means there's about one on every floor at here (except 41, now that [my ex-boss] left).

So, like a hermaphrodite?

I've been describing what I'm not to clear that up first. One last thing I'm not is intersexed. An intersexual (hermaphrodite) is a person who is born between (inter) sexes, having partially or fully developed pairs of female and male sex organs. "Intersexual" is usually preferred over the word "Hermaphrodite". These conditions are genetic and occur about as frequently as twins. And no, I have no inside info on that urban legend about Jamie Lee Curtis being one.

OK, OK, you're a transsexual. What does that mean?

Transsexuals feel their body does not match the way they think and feel, and they seek to remedy this by changing their body to match their mind. There are almost as many female-to-male transsexuals as there are male to female. For some reason, FTMs are largely ignored-- probably because they almost invariably are indistinguishable from genetic men. The effects of testosterone on females is more dramatic then the effects of estrogen on males (think East German olympic swimmers). Plus, I've never met a female-to-male whom I could tell without their outing themselves to me. And no, I have no inside info on that urban legend about one of the Victoria's Secret models being a transsexual.

So are you, like, gay or something?

Gender identity and sexual orientation are separate traits, although most people don't think about them as separate. There are straight transsexuals and gay transsexuals, etc. I haven't felt like dating much anyway, so it hasn't been an issue. In other words, there are also loser transsexuals.

While transsexuals are different from gays and lesbians, we have many of the same issues, since we are all going against what society has constructed as appropriate gender behavior. The Stonewall Riot that sparked the gay rights movement in this country was instigated by drag queens, which is why they marched first in the Stonewall 25 parade. Several women's groups have also embraced our issues, most recently the National Organization of Women. NOW has acknowledged that transsexuals totally disrupt gender-based stereotypes by forcing people to think about how much of it is merely social instead of "natural."

How did you get this way?

Plain truth is, nobody knows what causes this, although theories abound. Many people believe there is a biological component. The most common theory involves hormones affecting fetal brain development. But again, no one knows for sure. Personally, I don't really care what the cause is, anyway. I've felt this way as long as I can remember, and I think it's better to look forward than backwards.

I don't think of being transsexual as a blessing or a curse. I just think of it as a trait, like being right-handed or tall. Unfortunately, any trait carries with it certain social stereotypical presumptions. The misconceptions transsexuals have to deal with are that it's all about sex, or that we're just gay people who hate being gay. I just find that living and interacting with others as a female feels right.

How did you know?

I knew something was up from earliest memory. I have several specific memories from around age 4 or 5. I was frequently thought to be a girl when I was little, which I didn't mind at all. By the time I was 8 or 9, I knew what a transsexual was, well before I even knew the facts of life. I was scared to death to tell my parents how I felt, though. By the time I got to middle school, I was starting to have a lot of problems with classmates because I was effeminate, so I made every effort to act the way boys were expected to. This strategy worked, and I decided that I'd be better off putting all that behind me. Eventually, I decided I could manage my feelings without doing anything about them.

By a few years ago, I started to realize that I was getting more and more unhappy because I wasn't addressing those feelings. I started therapy and quickly concluded what I suspected early on. I began planning for transition several years ago, getting everything taken care of prior to going full-time. This included telling everyone outside of work, having electrolysis to remove my facial hair (yeouch!), starting hormone therapy, growing my hair, developing a female voice, and some cosmetic surgery. I have also legally changed my name and all documents.

How did you go about this?

The medical community has developed its own standards of conduct regarding sex reassignment surgeries. They were created at a conference in the mid-60's and were adopted as the world standard for sex reassignment surgeries. My transition has been done according to these standards.

How long have you been doing this?

I got serious about it three years ago, and I've been living as female outside of work for over a year. All my friends and family know, and everyone has been great so far. I hope you'll continue that trend.

Why are you switching at work?

The final stage of the Standards of Care is the Real Life Test (RLT), which involves living as a member of the desired sex for a period of time. This is to help transsexuals determine if sex-reassignment surgery is right for him or her. Most psychiatric professionals require a minimum of one year RLT before giving their approval for sex-reassignment surgery. That's the stage I'm at now, and that's why I came out at work now.

Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) is the final event in the sex-reassignment procedure. Although transsexuals have no reproductive organs (uterus/ovaries) the final result is cosmetically and functionally indistinguishable from that of genetic females. Some decide not to have this surgery, but I currently plan to have it.

What bathroom are you going to use?

I don't want people to feel uncomfortable about this, so I have volunteered to use the bathroom in the workout room to avoid the issue. I've been using women's restrooms when necessary for over a year without any problems-- it's just a bathroom, after all. If some great need arises, I'll use one that's closer, but I'll do my best to plan ahead.

Are you doing this with insurance?

Our small numbers make transsexuals vulnerable to all sorts of discrimination, notably from insurance companies. They classify transsexualism as "experimental," even though the same hormonal therapy is covered for non-transsexuals, as is genital surgery using many of the same procedures. The trend today is towards a full denial of benefits for "transsexual surgery and related services." It's exclusion #14 on Needham's CIGNA policy. In other words, if a healthcare provider mentioned I was transsexual on an insurance form, my claim would be denied. So I don't even bother trying to fight them. My transition costs have been out-of-pocket so far, and I don't expect that to change. I've spent about $60,000 to date, with another $20,000 to go.

So, when do you appear on Jerry Springer?

Every group has its share of kooks and idiots. Unfortunately, that's true of transsexuals, too. Problem is, the morons who go on shows like Jerry Springer end up getting more media coverage than the doctors, lawyers, and other professionals I know.

For example, my four closest transsexual friends are: an engineer, a geology professor, an art student, and a computer programmer. They lead very normal lives and seek to blend into society rather than stand out. That is my goal as well.

The other group of transsexuals who get noticed are those who are visibly gender variant. While they should get as much respect as those who are accepted as female, they must deal with additional discrimination and harassment. They also have become the clichŸ of what a transsexual is, since those who are accepted as female well do not get noticed.

I'm sure you have encountered several transsexuals without even knowing. I have been fortunate enough to go about my life without getting "read" or "clocked" very often. While I'm not ashamed to be a transsexual, I hope it eventually becomes a very incidental part of my life so I can get on with more important things.

When does your she-male porno flick hit the stores?

Another thing that doesn't help the misconceptions about TSs is the sexualization of our condition by the sex industry. Some people consider transsexuals exotic. Because all of this transition stuff is very expensive, and since a lot of teenage TSs are kicked out of their houses or driven out of school, they have limited financial options. Some turn to sex work to survive. And the porn industry is always ready to exploit fetishes, so it's a lucrative option for some. I feel they have every right to do what they must to survive. However, it doesn't help those of us who don't want to be objectified or considered sexual novelties. Last thing I need is Eddie Murphy offering me rides in exchange for fondling my feet (as is his habit, according to my sources).

What if I call you the wrong name?

I know that's going to happen. It took my family and friends a while to switch, too. Don't worry about it. You'll use the other name, other pronouns etc., even if you're trying hard. I'm not touchy, and I try to have a very good sense of humor about the whole thing. I know this is prime comedy material, and I can laugh along with good-natured joking. A perfect example is [my boss's] e-mail he sent me after I told him. THAT cracked me up.

What should I do if I have other questions?

1. Everyone is welcome to stop by and talk with me. I'm happy to answer any questions (well, almost any), and I assure you I will tell no one what you asked me. Obviously, I'm pretty good at keeping things secret.

2. If you don't feel comfortable talking with me, you may ask [our department manager], who can then get an answer from me and get it back to you anonymously. I have also left with Jan a book that addresses the common questions in greater depth. It's titled Transsexuals: Candid Answers to Private Questions by Gerald Ramsey. It's by a therapist, and his emphasis is on therapy matters, but he covers all the big issues. While I don't agree with the whole book, I think it's pretty good.

3. If you don't feel comfortable talking with Jan or me, I've listed some books, articles, websites and movies I feel deal with the subject in a good way. I have copies of all in my office, or you should be able to browse or buy most of these in a larger bookstore like Borders or in any of the gay/lesbian bookstores in Chicago:

Transgender Warriors, by Leslie Feinberg. (Beacon Press, 1997) Leslie is a female-to-male, and she's compiled an excellent historical overview of transgender history.

Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism, by Pat Califia (Cleis Press, 1997) Pat has written an outstanding outline of transsexual history in the U.S. since the mid-fifties, focusing on contemporary issues.

Conundrum, by Jan Morris (Henry Holt & Co.). Jan is a world-renowned travel writer. She has written a fascinating autobiography recalling her days accompanying the first expedition to scale Mt. Everest, up through her sex change and life after. It's easily the best-written account.

My Story, by Caroline Cossey (Faber and Faber, 1991). Caroline's autobiography tells of her sex change and subsequent career as an international model under the name "Tula." Her appearance in a James Bond movie and growing fame led to her outing by the British tabloids. Maybe you saw her photo in an obnoxious Sauza Tequila ad a couple of years ago that said "she's a he" across her chest.

"The Third Sex" by John Taylor. Esquire Magazine, April, 1995, pp. 102 ff. This is a very accessible article that should be available in Needham's Info Center.

The internet has been an excellent resource for transsexuals, since we're scattered all over the country. America Online has the Transgender Community Forum (Keyword: TCF), and the other commercial providers have similar areas. Here are a couple of good websites:

Dr. Anne Lawrence is an physician and friend who maintains a website about medical issues for transsexuals at: http://www.mindspring.com/~alawrence/

Diane Wilson is a friend who maintains an updated version of the transgender FAQ (frequently-asked questions) at: http://www.lava.net/~dewilson/gender/ss ... index.html

The best movie on transsexualism that I've seen happens to be playing at [a local theatre] this month. It's a Belgian film called "Ma Vie En Rose" (My Life In Pink). It's in French, subtitled, and tells the story of a six-year old dealing with transsexual feelings, and how that affects his family and their neighbors. The director was deeply influenced by Tim Burton in his attempt to capture the mindset of a six-year-old. I highly recommend it, not just because of the subject matter. It has a very refreshing tone and look, and was one of the best films I saw last year-- very funny, very sad, and very sweet.

I got really great feedback from this letter, because it was the right mix of facts and entertainment for my audience. If yours is right for your audience, it will make a tremendous difference in how smooth your transition is.