In reading several biographic posts on here , I noticed that being molested as a child seems to be a common thread. I was molested twice as child. It did not impact my sexuality , I have known I was gay for a long time, but I wonder if it has made me uneasy with sexual pleasure ... I have gone from wild episodes of sexual indulgence, to horrified abstinence and back again for years. Castration appeals to me as relief from this constant struggle and the chaos that the wild episodes cause.... How do others feel about this subject. Is molestation common among EA members?

Milkman (imported) wrote: Wed Jun 25, 2008 6:20 am In reading several biographic posts on here , I noticed that being molested as a child seems to be a common thread. I was molested twice as child. It did not impact my sexuality , I have known I was gay for a long time, but I wonder if it has made me uneasy with sexual pleasure ... I have gone from wild episodes of sexual indulgence, to horrified abstinence and back again for years. Castration appeals to me as relief from this constant struggle and the chaos that the wild episodes cause.... How do others feel about this subject. Is molestation common among EA members?

It all depends how you define "molested". Should children playing sex games with other children be considered molestation? There are other ways to abuse (molest) a child. I think we put too much emphasis on sex abuse. Much of the abuse is in the form of verbal or psychological abuse.

What many of us suffer from is sexual addiction. It is akin to alcohol or drug addiction. Childhood sexual molestation can be one of the causes.

Your description of wild sex sprees followed by abstinence, applies to me also.

No, not with other children, but forced sex with an adult....

Milkman first I want to say I am sorry you were vicitmized. Yes it does influence many aspects of your life. I was sexualized early before I was emotionally prepared for sex. In some ways I stopped being a child and locked into this hypersexual person. At 52 I am still trying to become a whole person.

I do not feel like my abuse caused me to be gay. Like you I think that was already a part of me. If anything I think much of what has happened in my life would make me straight. Males have not always been kind but I still hope to find a loving one.

I am happy and I enjoy life. I have work to do before I can enjoy it to the next level. Castration was a life saving surgery for me. My sexual addiction would have lead to my death. I would not have healed or figured out what was wrong all those years under the influence of testosterone. This is what helped me but it may not be the right choice for you.

I wish you the best on your path and deciding what is right for you. I wish you happiness and peace.

Still paying the price for others' pleasures.

I don't think that there is ever an excuse for molesting anybody of any age. My heart goes out to all who have experienced this.

I was molested by the neighbour's son; he was about 14 years old and I was 10. We went for a walk across the fields, paddled in the river and sunbathed naked. He got me to kiss and play with his penis. It made me feel like his special friend and I've always remembered that hot summer day with pleasure. It never happened again and we never talked about it. I'm certain I was already gay, and he's been happily married for many years now so I think it was just a bit of experimentation at puberty on his part. Don't think it made me want to be a eunuch.

eunuch2001 (imported) wrote: Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:11 am I was molested by the neighbour's son; ... It made me feel like his special friend and I've always remembered that hot summer day with pleasure....

Sex with another person, to me, is a way of expressing deep friendship. Sadly there are those who are frightened by such a concept.

Milkman (imported) wrote: Wed Jun 25, 2008 6:20 am In reading several biographic posts on here , I noticed that being molested as a child seems to be a common thread. I was molested twice as child. It did not impact my sexuality , I have known I was gay for a long time, but I wonder if it has made me uneasy with sexual pleasure ... I have gone from wild episodes of sexual indulgence, to horrified abstinence and back again for years. Castration appeals to me as relief from this constant struggle and the chaos that the wild episodes cause.... How do others feel about this subject. Is molestation common among EA members?

Can you describe what kind of molestation you suffered?

I feel that a phrase 'child molestation' has become close to hysteria. It is not defined what is it. Is it when a neighbour threaten to cut your balls after you have managed accidentally to brake some of his property? Or is it when somebody threaten your life and/or act his or her sexual fantasies on you against your will?

I do not consider myself molested as a child.

Life is full of psychic traumas and probable molestation could simply be one of these traumas in the row. For example, if somebody dies a child loves so much is big trauma. Bullying in the school is not a smaller trauma. And we know that it could lead to suicide or even shooting spree in the school.

I think that instead of (over)protecting our children from (bad) world we should teach them how to cope with psychological problems. How to overcome difficulties so that they would not cause trauma.

Problems and bad things happen, we cannot avoid them.

Setup of your mind when meeting troubles is more important than blaming others later.

Perhaps I have been grown up in perfect conditions and I do not know what molestation mean... So please forgive me in advance if I hurt somebody!

E.

eunuch2001 (imported) wrote: Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:11 am I was molested by the neighbour's son; he was about 14 years old and I was 10. We went for a walk across the fields, paddled in the river and sunbathed naked. He got me to kiss and play with his penis. It made me feel like his special friend and I've always remembered that hot summer day with pleasure. It never happened again and we never talked about it. I'm certain I was already gay, and he's been happily married for many years now so I think it was just a bit of experimentation at puberty on his part. Don't think it made me want to be a eunuch.

I would like to add to Kangan, that it is a crucial importance how we percieve acts of other person.

I read somewhere in the book long ago, that there is a tribe on Papua New Guinea where it is normal to have sex if you want to express your positive feelings toward other person. Even underage boys and girls have sex just for relaxation. The greatest orgasms you are able to give the greatest you are considered. Such a tribe!!!

Another example is a coming of age rite where grown up men cause pain and suffering to teenage boys. Like hunger, circumcision without anesthesia, suspension by back skin etc... we could think that this is a child molestation. But they think, it is their pride to come through it. Is it causing a trauma? Perhaps.. Perhaps not. It depends how you think.

When I speak of molestation I am speaking of an adult using a 6-7 year old child for their sexual release. The normal development of the child is stunted.