I believe that most of my domination fantasies have involved dominating a woman. I have discovered that many lovers enjoy my playing at dominating them. They were, however, really running the shows.

However, I have long had fantasies about emasculation. One such fantasy concerned my being forced to rape a woman before another woman in some role emasculates me or has me emasculated. The rape victim is to be my last chance at intercourse.

I was an exhibitionist in my youth. That denotes poor self-image in clinical literature that I have read. The exhibtionism began when an older woman I knew accidentally caught me engaged in masturbation--just before I had an orgasm. The woman was understanding and kind. I found the memory of her discovering me intensely exciting. I was standing in frong of a mirror masturbating. I was in my youth in love with myself. I was just flat out in love with myself. I loved watching myself masturbate.

With othe women, I was caught masturbating a couple of times. These were not planned. They were actual accidents. I was always thrilled and embarassed in the same moment. I did sometimes expose myself, but I never really enjoyed that very much.

A few years later, I had a friend who was a female exhibitionist, Her exhibitionism was aggressive, not exactly for men to enjoy. Her exhibitionism was her aggression againist men who wanted to make love with her. She knew that I knew that she would not make love with me. What I finally learned to do was masturbate in front of her when she exposed herself. We remained friends for many years.

When I was in college, a girlfriend used to masturbate me. I loved it. I loved her. She was afraid of intercourse, at the time. I loved jacking off on her sometimes. I loved coming in a lover's face or on her chest. I loved masturbating while I practiced cunnilingus on lovers. It was my favorite form of making love. I have never had a golden shower, but I would love knowing a woman who enjoyed doing that to me.

A supervisor on my job used to talk about needing to discipline me. She felt that rapists needed to be emasculated. She used to complain about men who "lubricated their weenies instead of making love to women. Even though I had a lover and she did not at that time have one, she implied that I was playing with myself instead of coming on to her.

My first lover carressed my balls while she made love with me. I loved that sensation. I never forgot it.

I have long had fantasies about shaving women's heads. In some fantasies, I have thought about a lover shaving my head. I once felt that made me less desirable at a time when women did often desire me.

I dont know how far I would go in realizing fantasies. I sometimes just woneder what a woman might have wanted to do with me when I was still desirable. Át my age, I feel that I can take risks and just enjoy seeing what happens.

I know that some woman might have enjoyed castrating me. I never had one tell me that exactly, but I like thinking that someone has considered it. Who knows, maybe I would enjoy it.

I had sufficient anxiety about emasculation that I have enjoyed fantasies about it while I masturbated. The notion of having to get off without a penis has intrigued me.

The idea of a lover taking control of my penis and balls is not my most intense fantasy, however, I think it would be fun for both of us. The idea of a lover doing to me anything she wants is an intense desire, but I have little idea what that might involve. It is afterall her fantasy that I want to realize. The aim for me is to let her do what she most desires to do to a man. I do what she wants. Otherwise, I am in control. I want to let go of control and just let whatever happens with a lover happen--it is really that way anyway.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I too, have exhibitionist tendencies and so does my wife, however, we limit ourselves to private situations with similar minded folks.

My wife and I enjoy mutual masturbation at times. We also enjoy having intercourse with an audience present. When I was about 12, my mother caught me masturbating once. When my wife was around 10 or 12, she and her female cousin used to play naked games and touch each other. The other boys in my neighborhood and I used to engage in mutual masturbation sessions on a regular basis. I had a younger female cousin who liked to watch me masturbate.

However, my most memorable experience happened when I was 15 or 16 and had to undergo my first nude physical (and genital) exam in a hospital.