I have recently begun counseling and have come out to my fiance with my castration desire. Reading about the effects and the procedure involved in self-castration or castration through a non-trained friend has left me realizing that this is really not for me. I'm in the process of coming to accept myself the way that I was born. This seems the wisest way to go about dealing with this issue, as my life with my fiance is very very important to me and takes priority over any personal desire that I might have.

As a result of this change in my thinking about this old desire of mine, I'm leaving the Archive behind, and unfortunately, it's members. Like an alcoholic leaves his drinkinng buddies behind, it just seems the most effective way for me to leave this behind me. I'm not re-entering a denial state regarding this desire, but am simply dealing with it as a urge that is unhealthy for me.

Please don't misinterpret my metaphor as an insinuation that I'm thinking of you all as ill or misguided. I only know that this is wrong for me, and that talking about it and keeping it in the front of my mind will only delay my dealing with it in the healthiest way for me. I make no judgements on anyone else here, of course!

I am grateful to the Archive, it's members and of course it's valiant founders and maintainence personelle. Deepest thanks to you all.

With respect,

Frankie

Frankie,

I believe integration between mind and body is one of the highest goals a human can achieve. If you can mute your castration desire, and transform your sexuality into healthy outlets with your fiance then I think you have achieved a great success.

Note I have recently posted about success using the SSRI drug called Celexa. If your desire for castration was due to frustration with being oversexed, then I suggest you talk with a psychiatrist and see if an SSRI can help you. It can greatly help you return to normal sexuality (there are many articles on the web about this -- search for "SSRI" and "paraphilia").

I am very happy for you. And if you ever come back you will be surely welcome.

SD

Take care and be well, Frankie. All the best.

Frankie,

Thank you for posting and not just leaving. Believe me, I can relate to all you have said. Over 40 years ago I fell madly in love with a young lady and I had to make a decision. I knew I was gay, but I also knew I could not live without this lady I loved so much. So I did what many have said was a very foolish thing. I married her in spite of what I knew was deep inside me.

I will not even try to tell you it's been easy. Sometimes I have come so close to suicide, have felt so dirty and disgusted with myself there are no words to describe it. But here I am, looking forward to my 39th anniversary next September. There are 6 beautiful people in the world today who would not have been here had we not married, and I know, in spite of all the turmoil and tough decisions I have had to make, I did the right thing.

God go with you, Frankie. Your inclinations and desires will not leave you just because you decide that they should, but we all have difficulties and challenges to face, so just have faith in yourself, and in your God, and go for it!

Be well, my friend!

Charlie

Dear Frankie,

I still vividly remember your reply on a topic concerning my person and am very greatfull for the advice you gave that I didn't understand.

I wish you all the best in your life dealing with your gender disphoria and that you can find a way to live your life with the person you love.

But most of all, I wish that you never come back and that you do not even read this message.

farwell .....Frankie

frankie (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 06, 2002 12:39 pm Please don't misinterpret my metaphor as an insinuation that I'm thinking of you all as ill or misguided. I only know that this is wrong for me, and that talking about it and keeping it in the front of my mind will only delay my dealing with it in the healthiest way for me. I make no judgements on anyone else here, of course!

I am grateful to the Archive, it's members and of course it's valiant founders and maintainence personelle. Deepest thanks to you all.

With respect,

Frankie

As a recovered alcoholic myself, 18 years sober, I understand. I also approve. If you have been paying any attention to my posts, you would have noticed that whilst my primary interst is eunuch health issues, my secondary interest has been to make sure that those wanting to be castrated make an informed decision such that they would not regret it later in life. I think you have made the correct decision in your case.

Auf Wiedersehen, friend, and you go with my Best Wishes and Good thoughts for a happy life'

good luck and may God Bless!

Always remember, happiness is what you want it to be. Be happy and don't change for somebody else. CHANGE FOR YOURSELF!

Charlieje,

You say...

Charlieje (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 06, 2002 5:07 pm Thank you for posting and not just leaving. Believe me, I can relate to all you have said. Over 40 years ago I fell madly in love with a young lady and I had to make a decision. I knew I was gay, but I also knew I could not live without this lady I loved so much. So I did what many have said was a very foolish thing. I married her in spite of what I knew was deep inside me.

I will not even try to tell you it's been easy. Sometimes I have come so close to suicide, have felt so dirty and disgusted with myself there are no words to describe it. But here I am, looking forward to my 39th anniversary next September. There are 6 beautiful people in the world today who would not have been here had we not married, and I know, in spite of all the turmoil and tough decisions I have had to make, I did the right thing.

I think that you are alright, charlieje!

As far as the depression goes, don't feel "dirty" because of your natural urges. Do not follow them, if they are not you. If your conscious mind can overpower you base instincts, that is no reason to be unhappy!

Look at it this way, Charlieje, I, too, have attractions to those whom I am not comitted to, but I know better than to give in to them. Yes, I would love to "have" some young thing. For me, this means female, however. But, I know the consequences of such an action, and I prefer to AVOID complicating my life in such a manner.

Besides, at my age I don't want to start over again. Kids and all, you see. But with you, even if you are attracted to young men, that is nothing to be ashamed about. Chin up, keep your comittment to your wife and avoid situations that could put you down temptations road.

I have always wanted to fly an F-16. But I am content with what I have. I can afford it and I know that it is best for me because I am better suited to it.

My dog still chases the UPS truck. He couldn't drive it if he caught it. He could NEVER own it. All that he could do was PISS on it every day. Am I making sense yet?

Do you think that I would go out and coach a high school or college female sports team? Naw, I think not. You see, the urge is not what gets you in trouble, it's the action. While as the Bible claims, you are not any "better" than the ones who succumb... (hmm, maybe a bad choice of words), to their base urges, be thankful and be aware that your actions are keeping your life much less complicated. Even though you may be just as lustful as the next man, you are decidedly more responsible.

So, there you have it. A good dose of A-1's philosophy for life and living. Your mind is what you have to keep you out of trouble. Use it! Think before you act! Most of all, take care of yourself. YOU MUST DO THIS FIRST IF YOU EVER HOPE TO BE OF SERVICE TO SOMEONE ELSE.

As for you, frankie, you have chosen the path less travelled. Believe me, brother, IT WILL MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD! *FOLLOW YOUR YELLOW BRICK ROAD!*

A-1

hi A1 didnt I see a photo of you as a nullo

A-1 (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 06, 2002 6:18 pm good luck and may God Bless!

Always remember, happiness is what you want it to be. Be happy and don't change for somebody else. CHANGE FOR YOURSELF!

Charlieje,

You say...

I think that you are alright, charlieje!

As far as the depression goes, don't feel "dirty" because of your natural urges. Do not follow them, if they are not you. If your conscious mind can overpower you base instincts, that is no reason to be unhappy!

Look at it this way, Charlieje, I, too, have attractions to those whom I am not comitted to, but I know better than to give in to them. Yes, I would love to "have" some young thing. For me, this means female, however. But, I know the consequences of such an action, and I prefer to AVOID complicating my life in such a manner.

Besides, at my age I don't want to start over again. Kids and all, you see. But with you, even if you are attracted to young men, that is nothing to be ashamed about. Chin up, keep your comittment to your wife and avoid situations that could put you down temptations road.

I have always wanted to fly an F-16. But I am content with what I have. I can afford it and I know that it is best for me because I am better suited to it.

My dog still chases the UPS truck. He couldn't drive it if he caught it. He could NEVER own it. All that he could do was PISS on it every day. Am I making sense yet?

Do you think that I would go out and coach a high school or college female sports team? Naw, I think not. You see, the urge is not what gets you in trouble, it's the action. While as the Bible claims, you are not any "better" than the ones who succumb... (hmm, maybe a bad choice of words), to their base urges, be thankful and be aware that your actions are keeping your life much less complicated. Even though you may be just as lustful as the next man, you are decidedly more responsible.

So, there you have it. A good dose of A-1's philosophy for life and living. Your mind is what you have to keep you out of trouble. Use it! Think before you act! Most of all, take care of yourself. YOU MUST DO THIS FIRST IF YOU EVER HOPE TO BE OF SERVICE TO SOMEONE ELSE.

As for you, frankie, you have chosen the path less travelled. Believe me, brother, IT WILL MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD! *FOLLOW YOUR YELLOW BRICK ROAD!*

A-1

Nope,

Ya probably won't, either.

I am keeping "things" "in hand"

A-1



P.S. I am the one on the left with the handprints...

Beep,

Salute frankie, glad to see that you Got 2 say good bye to us all. May you get good mileage from your equipment.

Nice to see the old stand by's are still around. All the usual suspects on this nice thread. A-1 is showing some cute cheek, Antonia never loses her great looks, and Paolo looks like he has been condemed to hell (for what sin? It is not clear)

I'm still lurking around from time to time.