I'm missing church, choir and all, today.

Why? (I hear you ask.)

Seems I strolled out for my morning swim and, halfway to the pool, in darkness, I stepped on a scorpion. Said scorpion took umbrage and speared me on my perfectly pedicured widdle toe (right side.)

Ash(leigh), alerted by my yelps, and thinking an intruder had me in his/her/it's grasp, fetched her nightstand firearm and hurtled out the door and down the steps, in totally nude state, prepared to defend my >^..^<, if not my honor.

Seeing no one else, save for me, she segued from anxiety to laughter as I performed an interpretive dance/semi-ballet on one foot, in the altogether, accompanying myself on the YoliPhone (See: "Yelp", "Owwwww", and "@^%$!")

Well, that was at around 6:30 Ante-Meridian, and there's little reminder of the incident save for a kind of minor itch/throb/sting sensation which is subsiding nicely. I guess I'll be fully ambulatory about the time church has ended and it's time to primp and go to lunch at a nearby restaurant.

As a precaution, I popped a Benadryl and a Bloody Mary...well, TWO B'Mary's, actually.

It's fortunate that our particular breed of scorpion is not terribly venomous to humans, save for the hypersensitive and otherwise weak. There are other varieties in the world, both the Americas and other continents, that'll make you all dead 'n stuff...Eeek!

For you PETA persons...That scorpion is dead! DEAD, I say!

Obituary...

Scorpion, Sydney

Sydney Scorpion entered Eternal Rest on April 27th, 2008 as the result of his own stupidity. Investigators state that his death was a matter of self-defense and that no charges will be filed against Miss Yolanda X, a sweet and only slightly kinked young lady whom Mr. Scorpion did willfully and feloniously assault.

In accordance with the wishes of his family (Wife and 12,458 children) Mr. Scorpion's remains (too mangled to be viewable) were placed, with honors, in a BBQ pit and cremated via generous squirts of starter fluid and the application of a kitchen match.

Requiesat en Pacem

Plant a Comfrey plant (herb) for the next encounter. On any insect sting, ant, wasp, mosquite or your favorite crush a few of the leaves and rub on the sting. Pain will be gone within minutes and almost no swelling. Google Comfrey for an interesting history.

Shades of Green on Sunset Rd has the plants.....and no I don't own any stock in them (wish I did)

No Scorpions here, least not yet as its still snowing.

River

Last year while drifting off to sleep, I felt something crawling on my leg. THAT was not a good thing as I sleep alone...

Without thinking, I slapped my right foot against the spot on my left thigh where it was, and predictably, the scorpion stung me on the thigh and my right foot. The scorpion was the "lethal" variety, called a "bark scorpion." It raised tiny bumps on my leg and foot, did not hurt that much, not as much as a bee or ant sting, and I figured that IF I started getting sick I would call someone, but I just shrugged it off. Next morning there was not even a welt. Sadly, the scorpion was mortally wounded and I killed it.

I myself do NOT hate scorpions, actually I wish I could keep a few of them around but there is just too great a possibility of an accident. You see, the scorpion, like the spider, is more effective than a can of "Raid" at killing pesky bugs that really are bad. For example, if I had been fully awake and known that was only a scorpion on my leg, I would not have killed it because it was quite probably hunting/killing "bed bugs" and would have actually been beneficial to me. I suppose I could use insecticides but I hate to sleep with that smell in my bedroom.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the infamous scorpion! So evil...so dangerous, so feared. I wrote a story about one, well, sort of about one, and about how a little scorpion did a little venture on one poor guys very unprotected penis. Its a hell of a tale, but it fits with this thread oh-so-well. Here is the link:

http://www.eunuch.org/Alpha/G/ea_150837gangs__b.htm (http://www.eunuch.org/Alpha/G/ea_150837gangs__b.htm)

Scorpions don't bother me unless they're the deadly ones found in Durango, Mexico. I like most insects except flies, mosquitos, roaches and arachnids.

The only arachnid I'll play with are Tarantulas. I love the way they crawl up my arm. Their fun on a date with San Antonio women. heh heh

MacTheWolf (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:40 pm The only arachnid I'll play with are Tarantulas. I love the way they crawl up my arm. Their fun on a date with San Antonio women. heh heh

I got up early for THIS? (and shaved my legs too?)

Actually, I wax for that purpose.

Anyway, Uncle W, we have an abundance of Tarantulas here in Texiz, and, sadly enough, lots of Black Widows and Brown Recluse as well.

Back to Tarantellas, I've handled any number of them, and was trained to do so as part of BG's "Becoming An Outdoor Chick 101". I was scared pewpless at first, but one look at that sweet face, dark fangs, and multiple eyes and I was in love.

I get along with them just fine and will not allow them to be killed by guests when I'm hostessing on BG's ranches. In fact, I make a point of picking them up and showing folks that their fears are unwarranted, so long as they know where the boundaries are.

A couple of years ago, as we were sitting at an outdoor table at the main ranch, I felt something on my right foot (Great! A spider with a foot fetish!) and looked down to see a big "Texas Red" perched thereon.

I slowly turned until I could extend my leg, toes prettily pointed, of course and said "Oh, Look! Terry has come to say 'Hi'". You have thought someone had tossed a hand grenade into the potato salad, given the haste with which my friends bailed.

Terry hung out with me for a few, as the others gasped, got the vapors, and shrieked that I was crazy (Wot else is noo?). Finally, he walked up my leg until I could transfer him to my hand, then carried him over to the nearby rocks and eased him off.

Tarantulas? I like them and they do a major number on less desirable bugs.

Yoli The Spider Woman

San Antonio, Texiz

Yoli it is good to read that you handle nature's creatures as gently as you handle eunuchs.

FianceeUvBigGuy (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:09 am I'm missing church, choir and all, today.

Why? (I hear you ask.)

Seems I strolled out for my morning swim and, halfway to the pool, in darkness, I stepped on a scorpion.

I do not know if this is true but I have read that scorpions fluoresce (glow) when struck by UV light. You can buy UV flashlights cheaply on eBay.

Yup. Buy a black light and go prospecting for tungsen (scheelite). Just don't touch scheelite that moves.