a blind man and his guide dog walk into sears and go into the mens department. then the blind man grabs the dog by the scruff of his tail and starts swinging that dog around, over his head like a lasso. whhww whhhw whhhwww

a clerk runs up and says "sir, can i help you !?"

blind man repiles...

"no, im just looking around."

Aaaahhhhh, I see said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Last night, I played a blank tape so loud the mime next door went nuts.

Oh give me a break. It is bedtime and I am busting a gut.

randy (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:59 pm a blind man and his guide dog walk into sears and go into the mens department. then the blind man grabs the dog by the scruff of his tail and starts swinging that dog around, over his head like a lasso. whhww whhhw whhhwww

a clerk runs up and says "sir, can i help you !?"

blind man repiles...

"no, im just looking around."

Hmmmm I don't get it. Then again, at my age, I don't get much.

MacTheWolf (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:33 pm Hmmmm I don't get it. Then again, at my age, I don't get much.

They are commonly known as 'seeing eye' dogs.

Slammr (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 26, 2008 12:55 am They are commonly known as 'seeing eye' dogs.

I hate it when ya have to explain a joke..... Especially old geezers like MacW - they usually don't get it then either. Old-timers illness....

Old guys like me would resent that, if we could remember what resent means. --FLO--

resent=resemble?

this was my dads favorite joke:

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship.

One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm.

He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates.

Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on!

The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"

The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.

The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my brown pants!!!'