I have a question that I would love some feedback on. Last year, at the age of 27, I started my transition from male to female. I am currently on cross-gender hormones. At this age, it has been very difficult to pass as a female, but I give it my best try. I do dress very casually in women's clothing like jeans and shirts and blouses, but nothing extreme. My face is pretty much cleared of hair as well as body. I am thinking about starting to carry a purse and maybe wearing a little bit of lipstick. I do wear two small ear rings, and my breast development is beginning to show. I know, however, that people know I am more male than female. I plan on getting an orchiectomy this coming January or so. I have been assessed and diagnosed as transgender from two therapists, in which I have letters from both of them saying this. Should I use the women's or men's bathooms? Can I get into legal trouble for using the women's bathroom because I still have a penis even though my gender identity is female? Which restroom do you think is safer for me to use?

Thanks for any feedback. Tracy.

This is a real problematic issue for a lot of trans people. Tolerance and laws protecting or discriminating against transgendered people vary from state to state and region to region, so it is hard to one simple answer.

The best advice I can think of is it just depends. If you are in an area or establishment that is trans friendly then using the women's bathroom is fine, but if you are in an area that is not trans friendly your best option is to find a unisex bathroom that does not specify male or female. You can also check the local ordinances ahead of time. I will try to find some link for you, but you can also do a google search on your own.

Thanks. I will try and find some of that information.

It's a tricky issue. As jemagirl says, the law varies from place to place. A good first step would be to learn the law where you live. Find out if there are any laws regarding TGs, and especially if there are any specific laws regarding bathroom use (some regions have gone so far as to pass specific laws dealing with that issue).

I have heard of stories where TG women were questioned when going into the women's room, and a few where they have been arrested. I heard one story that may be either truth or myth where a TG woman was supposedly arrested for using the women's restroom just as she was on her way to SRS surgery. I'm thinking myth because of that just on her way to SRS element, but I can't be sure. In any case, it's definitely something to be cautious about. You do not want to end up in a men's jail while in transition.

Personally, I feel you should not use the women's room unless you can pass the majority of the time. But that is only my view, and many others would passionately argue against that view. Of course, I am only referring to MtF transition here. Obviously it is different when you are dealing with a crossdresser situation. Now, if you are at an establishment that is specifically TG friendly, then of course how well you pass doesn't matter. But in a mainstream bathroom, it's pretty risky to go in as a MtF who does not yet pass very well.

I always thought the way I would do it when I was in an MtF transition would be to use the men's room until I started getting looks from the men. Once that happened, I would know it was time to enter the women's room and see how I would do there.

Look into your passport under "gender". Then act accordingly and be on the safe side.

How above flipping a coin...

Heads you go boys

and

Tails you go girls!:D

In a more serious tone ask someone? for example...

"excuse me but where is the restroom?"

then go to which ever one they point out.

I remember going to the mens room and having two women walk in and say VERY loudly "I THINK your in the wrong room!!?" I was at a urenal at the time doing my biz and turned my head around and said "Uhh... ok but then whats THIS for?"

And no, I was not pointing to my knob...

mrt (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:00 am I remember going to the mens room and having two women walk in and say VERY loudly "I THINK your in the wrong room!!?" I was at a urenal at the time doing my biz and turned my head around and said "Uhh... ok but then whats THIS for?"

And no, I was not pointing to my knob...

Maybe she was talking to her friend who was hard of hearing