Okay...

So last weekend I went out on a first date with a guy... We'll call him Amferny. Amferny is a Repo-man. Anyone wanna guess where he took me for our first date? Well if you guessed "out to repo cars" BINGBINGBINGBING Congratulations, you get a cookie.

Well then I go out of town for the week for work-related training. I flew home today and while driving home from the airport, my Dad calls to tell me that he just had a visitor... Dad answered the door, and this guy standing outside says "Hi, I'm the repo-guy." My Dad damn near punched him. Amferny hands my dad some flowers and says "Please give these to your beautiful Daughter." Dad says ok, and tells him that I should be home at some point tonight. Amferny says "Yeah, I know. Her plane already landed."

Ok. So maybe a little creepy that he's tracked my flight?

Well having never before gotten flowers from anyone, ever in my life... ((Ok well my brother brought me a plant once for my birthday but it was half dead and he's my brother so I don't think that counts.)) I was pleasantly surprised to come home to a dozen pink roses. So I call him to thank him.

Now during the past few days we'd made plans to go out again tonight. Knowing I'm a professional quality chef, he was very interested in having me cook us dinner. So the plan was to go repo some more cars, go to the grocery store then back to his place to cook dinner and watch a movie. Well when I called to thank him for the flowers, he starts in on this thing about well if it gets to be too late, would it be okay for me to go home in the morning. He said that he would sleep on the couch and I could have his bed. Well this made me a little uncomfortable, but I figured I'd be armed to the teeth anyway, so I guess it'd be ok.. (((Yeah I carry knives in my bra, one in my boot and a can of mace in my pocket.. Among other things, which I won't share 'cuz a lady never reveals ALL her secrets...!)))

So anywho... Back on track... I called him to thank him for the beautiful flowers and we confirm our plans for tonight.. And then he tells me that he got curious about me and RAN MY NAME AT THE DMV. Had a full copy of my driving record. Listed off for me my full name, previous addresses and the dates of every speeding ticket I've ever had.

Completely freaked out at this point.

I had my Dad call him and tell him that I'm in the bathroom vomiting profusely and won't be going anywhere tonight. I figure that'll give me some time to figure out what to do next.

So here's my question: Is this guy freaking psychotic? Am I completely justified in being creeped out?

My instinct is to tell the guy to get lost.

Run, run save yourself. The red flags should be flying. My first thought is he took you out to repo cars. Sometimes people become violent when someone takes their car so this puts you in danger. I find you a bright young woman so I am a little curious as to what you have in common. Nothing against the repo man.

He is using information needed for his job to get the upper hand as far as knowledge and what he is able to find out about you. Things you might have shared once he has gained your trust he already knows.

It is too soon to be staying at his house. If he picks you up will you have a way to get away if needed.

Please follow your instincts. If you are freaking out do not go out with him. Trust me if your spidey senses are tingling get away. The only other way to find out if he is a sociopath is to introduce him to me and see if I am attracted.

IMHO this guy is dangerous. He behaves like a stalker. To me, his intrusive information-gathering suggests that he wants to control the situation to the last detail,In other words, I think that he is a pathological control freak. I suspect that, if you tell him that you don't want so see him, he'll stalk you.

Daughter,

I agree with Tugon about this guy taking you on a date repossessing cars. It's a dangerous occupation and your Dads reaction isn't that uncommon. If he doesn't mind risking his own safety that is one thing but he was putting your safety in jeopardy and that is not OK. Any way I think you deserve to be taken on a proper date, like to a nice restaurant.

OK here's another thing. I don't care how late it is, he should be making sure you get home to sleep in your own bed, especially since he has just finished eating a wonderful meal you have been kind enough to cook for him. It's the very very least he could do. Oh... Did I already say he should take you out some where nice?

The flowers are nice and tracking the flight doesn't sound so bad, but I would probably feel a little creepy about some one checking my DMV record. It could be that he's so used to doing that for his job that it really doesn't occur to him how unusual it is for every one els.

So here is the thing. If he was checking up on you because he is worried about what you may have done in the past and what you might do in the future, then I'd wonder if he isn't just a bit paranoid. On the other hand if he did it because he is infatuated with you... that could also indicate that he has some issues you might want to be concerned about.

What ever the case may be, this is probably pretty good indication of what your relationship with him will be like in the future. Will he be looking through your dresser drawers, computer hard drive etc. etc. and are you going to be comfortable with that in either a short term or long term relationship???

I could be all wrong about this guy, but I do know you deserve the very best, and I don't think this guy is the very best.

In this country, Australia, it is illegal to access official records for private purposes. I assume that is also the case in yours. Report the creep to the authorities!

I will keep this short and to the point.

RUN

River

Also you have to wonder if it was even LEGAL to pull your information without a legit business reason. I agree with the group, stay away from the guy, AND let some people (like your Dad) know about him just in case...

Best of Luck!!!

Batman

Everyone else here seems to already have it exactly right ==>> RUN, do not walk.

My favorite cousin was a repo man as his first job after his business degree. He retired as a senior executive of the finance arm of a major car company. Along the way he trained many repo men in the trade.

His instructions included a directive that there should always be TWO people involved in any repo that was potentially dangerous – one to draw fire and the other to take the car. I suspect this young man was not planning for you to be the one taking the car….

I agree with the others here, RUN! That guy is SICK!

I understand that his sending flowers is touching, but honestly, if you send me an address to send them to, I would send you flowers AND chocolates. And I have not even met you, and I sure would not expect you to come out and repo cars with me on a date.

On one of the evening night time news programs like 20/20 they followed a repo man, and during the course of the show they said under the law if the owner shows up you have to leave. Also, repo people have to work quietly and quickly. A former boss told me he was a repo man on the side and earned decent money for each repo he brought in. So being a repo man is a decent job.

DId you tell him your flight numbers coming and going? and which airline you were on? if so that information is available on many airline sites. If you did not tell him that is questionable, but if one knows how and where to look you can find lots of info on people. I use to know someone in a class that told us every month he bought a list of all the DUI's in the county from the county. He then turned around broke that list into areas and sold them to local DUI attorneys. So nothing weird so far except if you did not tell him your flight number and airline.

It does not surprise me that he could look at your DMV records which was most likely through his contacts in the repo business. Look at what happened recently in Washington three government workers were fired for looking up the passport info of Obama, Hillary, and McCain. At least one news source said it was a past time of many government employees to look up records of people. Is it wrong? well at least three people no longer have a job, but would they be fired if they looked up my info? Most likely not. Though, I would never tell someone i just met i looked up there DMV report!

At the moment I think he sounds somewhat hyperactive and lacks social interaction skills. Just proceed with caution and follow your instinct

.... oh...and run his name through several search engines to see what you come up.