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The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:48 pm
by twaddler (imported)
Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'

And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are.

The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased . . .

And Dog was happy . . .

And Cat didn't give a crap one way or other.

Re: The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:14 pm
by Dave (imported)
twaddler (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:48 pm And Cat didn't give a crap one way or other

And that's why I say (AHEM) the only good cat is a {dead} cat.

I'm sending the joke to all my friends. Good joke. Good Joke.

Re: The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:08 pm
by joydivision_27 (imported)
Absolutely fantastic!!

Re: The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:34 pm
by IbPervert (imported)
My version.....
twaddler (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:48 pm Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

...and thus the penis was created, so Adam and his ancestors had something to keep them busy!

Re: The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 1:31 am
by twaddler (imported)
IbPervert (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:34 pm My version.....

...and thus the penis was created, so Adam and his ancestors had something to keep them busy!

A penis makes a good pet, too.

Re: The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 7:18 am
by Allen (imported)
don't know if a penis makes a good pet .... but you're more than welcome to pet mine!

Re: The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 7:53 am
by genderless (imported)
Yep, I enjoyed that joke! 😄

Re: The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:34 pm
by Falcon (imported)
A dog climbs into your lap because he loves you.

A cat climbs into your lap because it's warmer.

Falcon

Re: The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:24 pm
by fhunter
No dog would mark their owner, but cats do that every day...

And owning a cat, who can't stand closed doors - I can see, that cats can train humans to do things they want in a very short time.

Re: The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 6:54 am
by FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)
twaddler (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 13, 2008 1:31 am A penis makes a good pet, too.

(Giggle) Well, I certainly enjoy petting the two I am privileged to pet!

But, when they are not readily available, I have a built-in >^..^< to pet...or Ash(leigh)'s...or Marlene's...or...

So what's so special about the two male "pets"? Well, only one pair of balls in the mix. One's a LOT bigger than the other too. Care to guess which?

And now (Drum Roll, plizz!) My contribution to feline humor...

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

Love to all,

Yoli