Reflections In A Jaundiced Eye(Autobiographical)
Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 3:32 am
It was a dark and stormy night.
It wasn't, really, but the Texas weather had confounded Yoli again. At 3:25 AM the temperature was on it's way down to what was sure to be just below freezing and Yoli had been out of her warm widdle beddie-bye (and Ash[leigh]'s "spooning" embrace,) for an hour.
She sat at the keyboard, wrapped in flannel jammies and a warm robe stolen from a posh hotel, her feet encased in little slippers made to resemble little furry animals...raccoons, and tried to overcome writer's block.
What was Yoli trying to put into words? Whatever it was, it had been nibbling at her (gnawing is for rodents!) since the previous afternoon, and what an afternoon it was.
The day had begun in what, for Yoli anyway, was a normal fashion...up early, engaging in gentle teasing on the Eunuch Archive forums, a swim, shower, and so on. Then she kissed Ash[leigh} "Bye", hopped in her motorized conveyance, drove to a hotel and collected a client of the firm for which she toils, (when she must,) then drove said client to the airport, fending off suggestions that she might enjoy more than a business relationship (he even hinted at "generous compensation".)
A bit later she joined two friends for a hearty breakfast at The Cracker Barrel...so far so good. Then the wheels began to come off.
As Yoli left the restaurant her cellular personal communication device warbled it's merry alert..."Boomer Sooner". The caller was the mother of one of Yoli's buddies. She pretty much dictated (she's that type) that Miss Yoli would pick her up at 4 PM and deliver her to a physician's office. Seems the lady suspected she had bronchitis. She was barely able to croak out the words informing Yoli that she was running a temperature of 103...Eeek!
Yoli politely asked why the nice lady hadn't arranged transportation with her own daughter. The response was that said daughter has a "real job" and therefore was not to be bothered. "Ohhhhhhhhh..." thought Yoli, "A REAL job!"
Yoli thought of letting the lady know that she, Yoli, made four times the bucks the daughter did, but let that pass.
Well, the lady IS in her eighties, has always been semi-nice to Yoli, so a pledge of punctual appearance was made.
Some hours later, Yoli found herself on Loop 1604, AKA "The Death Loop" in local parlance, muttering invective at some dweeb in a moving van who insisted on doing 50 MPH in the high-speed lane, and noting with no particular alarm that the winds were increasing.
Yoli arrived at her soon-to-be passenger's home, rang the doorbell, and was greeted by a walking corpse. The lady is a tiny sparrow of a woman to begin with, barely one hundred pounds on a good day. She looked more ill than Yoli had imagined.
With the lady firmly belted in, and hoping that wot-tever she has isn't contagious, Yoli drove a bit over the limit and soon was assisting the lady into her doctor's domain.
"Shall I wait for you?" asked Yoli. "No. A friend from church will pick me up. Besides, you drive too damned fast!" croaked my grateful passenger.
Soooooo, a chastened (NOT!) Yoli wished the old bat well and saddled up, thinking to head for the Fox and Hound and a nice adult beverage.
That's when the fun began...
The winds had increased by the time Yoli exited the parking lot. They were later reported at gusting to fifty MPH. Said winds were crossing Yoli's path along The Death Loop. Yoli was driving an SUV. Crosswinds + Slabsided SUV= "OMG!"
Not only was Yoli nearly blown into the other lane several times, but she witnessed one rollover (in her rearview mirror) that had to have left a mark.
After ten minutes of white-knuckled effort, Yoli exited the loop for the less hazardous remainder of her route.
Yoli had no sooner perched prettily on a bar stool and taken her first sip when her cell reprised it's earlier aria... "Hello."... "Yoli! Mom's been admitted to the hospital! My car is in for service! Come pick me up at my office!"
"NO! Take a cab!"..."WHAT???"..."Listen. I've just barely survived a drive around the loop after taking your mother to the doctor's office. To pick you up I'd have to face the loop again, in screaming winds, at the peak of rush hour. It's a ten minute cab ride from your office to the hospital."...
"I can't believe I'm hearing this!"..."Well, you ARE hearing this. I'm in an SUV and the winds are so strong that I'm a cinch to be either blown off the road or into someone's path."...Then came the clincher..."I'd have to PAY a cabdriver!"...and the response..."Get a receipt and I'll reimburse you! Bye!"
(Isn't this gripping?)
Two drinks later the phone rang again. It was that church lady earlier mentioned. "Is this Yolanda?"..."No...I mean, yes."..."Well, young lady, Mrs. So-and-so has been diagnosed with pneumonia and it isn't looking good. Her daughter just arrived here and told me that YOU refused to bring her to the hospital. What is wrong with you?"..."Not a thing, ma'am. In fact, I've just taken delivery on my third drink and things are looking better by the sip."
..."You selfish little bitch!"...Click.
The point of all this is??? Well, I stayed up until 11 PM in case there was news from the hospital...none so far. I'm not feeling much guilt over refusing to be someone's "convenience", and I greatly enjoyed the dinner bought for me by another girl who happened by the Fox and/or Hound sometime during my fourth cocktail. So far, so good, but why do I feel some apprehension? There's this feeling in me that yesterday has triggered some fundamental change in my life, for better or worse. Even Ash(leigh), now up and reading over my shoulder, seems to sense the same, and has just begun to cry.
It's time to go.
Thanks for listening.
The Selfish Little Bitch
It wasn't, really, but the Texas weather had confounded Yoli again. At 3:25 AM the temperature was on it's way down to what was sure to be just below freezing and Yoli had been out of her warm widdle beddie-bye (and Ash[leigh]'s "spooning" embrace,) for an hour.
She sat at the keyboard, wrapped in flannel jammies and a warm robe stolen from a posh hotel, her feet encased in little slippers made to resemble little furry animals...raccoons, and tried to overcome writer's block.
What was Yoli trying to put into words? Whatever it was, it had been nibbling at her (gnawing is for rodents!) since the previous afternoon, and what an afternoon it was.
The day had begun in what, for Yoli anyway, was a normal fashion...up early, engaging in gentle teasing on the Eunuch Archive forums, a swim, shower, and so on. Then she kissed Ash[leigh} "Bye", hopped in her motorized conveyance, drove to a hotel and collected a client of the firm for which she toils, (when she must,) then drove said client to the airport, fending off suggestions that she might enjoy more than a business relationship (he even hinted at "generous compensation".)
A bit later she joined two friends for a hearty breakfast at The Cracker Barrel...so far so good. Then the wheels began to come off.
As Yoli left the restaurant her cellular personal communication device warbled it's merry alert..."Boomer Sooner". The caller was the mother of one of Yoli's buddies. She pretty much dictated (she's that type) that Miss Yoli would pick her up at 4 PM and deliver her to a physician's office. Seems the lady suspected she had bronchitis. She was barely able to croak out the words informing Yoli that she was running a temperature of 103...Eeek!
Yoli politely asked why the nice lady hadn't arranged transportation with her own daughter. The response was that said daughter has a "real job" and therefore was not to be bothered. "Ohhhhhhhhh..." thought Yoli, "A REAL job!"
Yoli thought of letting the lady know that she, Yoli, made four times the bucks the daughter did, but let that pass.
Well, the lady IS in her eighties, has always been semi-nice to Yoli, so a pledge of punctual appearance was made.
Some hours later, Yoli found herself on Loop 1604, AKA "The Death Loop" in local parlance, muttering invective at some dweeb in a moving van who insisted on doing 50 MPH in the high-speed lane, and noting with no particular alarm that the winds were increasing.
Yoli arrived at her soon-to-be passenger's home, rang the doorbell, and was greeted by a walking corpse. The lady is a tiny sparrow of a woman to begin with, barely one hundred pounds on a good day. She looked more ill than Yoli had imagined.
With the lady firmly belted in, and hoping that wot-tever she has isn't contagious, Yoli drove a bit over the limit and soon was assisting the lady into her doctor's domain.
"Shall I wait for you?" asked Yoli. "No. A friend from church will pick me up. Besides, you drive too damned fast!" croaked my grateful passenger.
Soooooo, a chastened (NOT!) Yoli wished the old bat well and saddled up, thinking to head for the Fox and Hound and a nice adult beverage.
That's when the fun began...
The winds had increased by the time Yoli exited the parking lot. They were later reported at gusting to fifty MPH. Said winds were crossing Yoli's path along The Death Loop. Yoli was driving an SUV. Crosswinds + Slabsided SUV= "OMG!"
Not only was Yoli nearly blown into the other lane several times, but she witnessed one rollover (in her rearview mirror) that had to have left a mark.
After ten minutes of white-knuckled effort, Yoli exited the loop for the less hazardous remainder of her route.
Yoli had no sooner perched prettily on a bar stool and taken her first sip when her cell reprised it's earlier aria... "Hello."... "Yoli! Mom's been admitted to the hospital! My car is in for service! Come pick me up at my office!"
"NO! Take a cab!"..."WHAT???"..."Listen. I've just barely survived a drive around the loop after taking your mother to the doctor's office. To pick you up I'd have to face the loop again, in screaming winds, at the peak of rush hour. It's a ten minute cab ride from your office to the hospital."...
"I can't believe I'm hearing this!"..."Well, you ARE hearing this. I'm in an SUV and the winds are so strong that I'm a cinch to be either blown off the road or into someone's path."...Then came the clincher..."I'd have to PAY a cabdriver!"...and the response..."Get a receipt and I'll reimburse you! Bye!"
(Isn't this gripping?)
Two drinks later the phone rang again. It was that church lady earlier mentioned. "Is this Yolanda?"..."No...I mean, yes."..."Well, young lady, Mrs. So-and-so has been diagnosed with pneumonia and it isn't looking good. Her daughter just arrived here and told me that YOU refused to bring her to the hospital. What is wrong with you?"..."Not a thing, ma'am. In fact, I've just taken delivery on my third drink and things are looking better by the sip."
..."You selfish little bitch!"...Click.
The point of all this is??? Well, I stayed up until 11 PM in case there was news from the hospital...none so far. I'm not feeling much guilt over refusing to be someone's "convenience", and I greatly enjoyed the dinner bought for me by another girl who happened by the Fox and/or Hound sometime during my fourth cocktail. So far, so good, but why do I feel some apprehension? There's this feeling in me that yesterday has triggered some fundamental change in my life, for better or worse. Even Ash(leigh), now up and reading over my shoulder, seems to sense the same, and has just begun to cry.
It's time to go.
Thanks for listening.
The Selfish Little Bitch
No patent or copyright though, darn it.)
...so to speak,,, 
anti-biotics is probably a good idea... wish my daughters had listened earlier, but they do now... you see, when they become of age and move away, it seems to increase MY I.Q. 
...how does that happen?