28 JAN 08
Today at 17:00 27 dec 07 I made arrangements with dr. kimmel to remove what’s left of my nuts and I am planning to get sack done as well I am happy in side knowing that I am doing the right thing that is having a person that knows what they are doing in stead of continuing to try it my self I am lucky I am not dead from all the stupid things I have done to my self for some reason I feel so alone right now
That’s why I decided to give an up date to my friends here at the E.A. When I come here I come here to be with my friends even though I do not know each personally I care about each one of you as though you were my best friends
My target date is hopefully January ish hopefully ill know moor when I talk to my boss to get some vacation days off
thanks for being there for me I hope too be there for you in your need
kennath7
The 14th of Jan 08 seams so far away but it has been 3 weeks now I don’t really feel any different I do have less hot flashes and less sever and intense I still feel good over all I don’t regret Being castrated
The process has been what I always though it would be right now I have some discomfort from the stitches kind of like a rubber band is pinching my scrotom around the base of my dick and everything below the band is totally numb but with out the pain of the band being on for a long time I have a little seepage from the wound as yet
it feels good that the constant thought, desire and pain I always felt since I was 8 years old is finely gone like a huge weight has been removed it feels so good to have been freed from that and not just the pain but the dreams as well I can look back and see how each dream has been fulfilled
THE PROCESS
My appoint for 14 Jan 08 at 09:00 has arrived I can’t hardly believe I made it this far there was no clock around so I don’t know how long dr kimmel talked but I would guess 30 minutes or so
Then we went into another room where I striped from the waste down I got one shot in the left hip each cord and some other places I could not really tell where because things where quite numb by then dr kimmel waited a few minuets to let the shots work then poked with a sharp interment to make sure it was all numb
As he started cutting I stared at the sealing because I did not want to freak out As I lay there I played in my mind all the different stories I have read on the ea and all the different fantasies I ever had about how I would like to be castrated that made it a fulfilling experience
I could feel the warm wet blood run down to the crack of my butt I could feel the tugging as he cut away my scrotom and hear the splat or thud as he put it on the tray I really
Except when the main nerve which is located on the right side I thought the pain shots where starting to ware off didn’t feel anything as he cut through the cords of my balls but some how I knew when he did he would confirm verbally latter well I got the right one off, left one. One thing that surprised me was that I thought as my balls where being removed that I would get an erection and shoot a load or have some blood come out of my dick but none of that happened that way it stayed limp the hole time It seams like it took as long to sew things up as the whole operation
After quite a long time laying there waiting for the shots to ware off it was about 13:00 by time I was able to walk around I thought to my self these are my very first steps as a eunuch on my way out I stopped by the room where the tray was I looked for a few minuets at my scrotom and balls as they lay there apart from me on the tray
Each ball had 4 or 5 dark black spots where I had injected them and had large areas of dead tissue the scrotom looked like a small pile of raw hamburger I then thought to my self finely my torment is no more
8 Feb. 08
Thinking back
Ever since I can remember (5 or 8) years old I started having these dreams sort of like the stories on the e.a. story board they excited me I have no idea where they came from
When I turned 13 or so I began acting them out (the dreams) ending up in the er
4 times before adult hood from failed attempts
I started tying things around my balls started out with string ,then rubber bands from news papers , then condoms then I figured that if I used a banding device like the ones for farm animals it would get stuck on me and I would not get it off an complete the task
I can go on and on
trying every thing I could imagine that would not work all I know is I wanted them off and the moor I tried the moor I wanted them off for many many years I was a very angry and depressed person because I became a failure to myself and I hated every one around me because I was stuck in a dilemma I felt that I was the only man on this earth that had these thoughts it made me feel bad about myself until I stumbled across this web sight
Acutely through alt eunuch questions
Any way I am relived now and free I feel really good. Better than I ever have
I hope through my ramblings I was able to shed some light towards helping you find the answer to your question
14 Feb. 08
It’
kennath7 (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:43 pm
s been 1 month since my castration I have started to notice small changes when I raise my voice it cuts out or goes down in pitch I have not noticed any loss of body hair
I notice woman still but I don’t get that thrill over a real good looking gal with big tits and nice ass its moor like I zero in moor on personality, smile, and neatness ect..
I have not notice any breast tenderness or growth
It dose seam like I have to shave moor often I use to have to shave every 3 days
Now I have to shave every day. I have not experienced depression as yet
Hopefully that will not cross my path
I do not miss my nuts I can’t even tell that there gone I do not regret being castrated
I am still very happy and make self notes of all the first things I have done being a
Eunuch my first step, day of work, walk through town, date ECT…
Life has become so exciting except I can not wait till these freaking stitches can come out and all is healed so I can get read of the jock which is holding the gaze in place
And really feel the freedom
19 Feb. 08
Well I ended up removing the stitches at 20:00 on the 14th of Feb. because I just could not stand it any moor the picking ends of string picking and inching in my skin had 5 moor days left (19th) I did it slowly like dr. kimmel said starting from the middle And waiting to make sure the skin stayed together, everything went great
I had some super glue set a side just in case I saved the stitches in a plastic pill bottle as a keepsake they look like a bunch of cut up fishing string
Now for the best part
The wound is all healed together in that it’s not oozing or seeping any moor I have been walking around with out the jock and or gauze the feeling is indescribable it feels so good
Almost like getting your very first head job just before you blow first wad I could walk around for hours one other thing I notice that I found out by accident when I cough or sneeze
Is that the stomach mussels tense up and pulls the testicular cords upward causing the
Cauterized ends to kind of tickle inside I just can not believe this has turned out so good for me
24 feb 08
DR .kimmel was older than I thought probably late 60s early 70s I noticed his hands they where surprisingly steady I have noticed other people his age and there hands tremble
And Constantly shake
his secretary name is Mary he had an assistant kind of tall and skinny I can’t remember his name he did exactly to the letter what DR. Kimmel asked
All where very polite and professional
The office and other rooms where kept neat and clean
9 mar 08
The last week has been strange I have noticed that I have been getting pimples I have not had those since I was 22 and 1 nocturnal erection which I have not had since 3aug 07
How is that possible I am not on any hrt I have only been taking multi vitamins and 2000 calcium and 1000 vitamin d I know none of those have any form of t in them
So far I have not had any depression or regrets I have been staying away from beer and any other form of alcohols since they are a known form of depressant cause I do not want to start or compound any problems I know 2 months is too soon to know what else awaits
Me as far as the effects of castration I know of the possibilities but which ones and to what extent is the mystery that makes kind of fun and exciting I am so glade I finely
Went to dr. kimmel it was the best decision I have made as far as fulfilling my desire to be an eunuch
12 April 08
3 months now
Not to much has changed since last post have noticed some weakness and lose of strength it’s feels like walking up hill made of sand .dose seam harder to concentrate or focus. hair on arms and legs starting to thin out have not noticed too much moor as far as physical appearances
Have noticed though I am less angry in general I am more considerate of others I am still very happy with being an eunuch I love holding my empty crouch it feels so good I also like how it feels to run or jump and not feel balls bounce around in my pants
5 may 08
Well 9 more days and it will be 4 month’s of freedom
Still taking vitamins it seams as though as I have regained some strength and some stamina but not to the extent as before castration could be part of the healing process
I was very active pre castration . I’m able to do most of the things as I did before
the hair on arms , hands , chest , legs. Are slowly being replaced with smaller , thinner , lighter hairs
one thing different though is that just before I wake up in the mornings it feels as if
I have a raging hard-on when in fact it is not
So far I have not had depression as of yet . I have noticed some weight gain at hip’s , belly and possibly breast area I say possibly because I don’t know if it is in fact
Breast development or just weight gain one other thing I have notice is that at night my mouth get’s very dry I have to keep a bottle of water by my bed to moisten it frequently
I get distracted more Easley and lose concentration in problem solving situations
I feel moor alive , happy , real and content than I ever have before
As I look back to the years before I was castrated
After reading those articles about depression I can clearly see how severe
My depression was and truly it was going end in death
I wanted castration so bad I was willing to try anything I would read stories for hours on end searching for new ideas it ended up that I tried about every 3 to 4 weeks some times longer depending on the damage I did the last time I tried ( for time to heal ) for 38 years
I always took it out on everyone a round me when my attempts failed
all my life I was deeply depressed I was very heavy in to drugs and alcohol
I had a deep anger towards others , I always had low self esteem , I felt worthless
I felt very a lone . many here in the E.A. has helped me with out even knowing it
To this day I have no idea why I put off making an appointment with Dr. kimmel
So long . I was so tired of the pain that I was inflicting on my self compounded by the depression I was a miserable person to my self and to others
Now I look forward I now know why I felt so free after I went to Dr. kimmel
Al that bad shit has been taken from me just in one day I never knew life could be so good I’m so happy now ha this is funny I have not told any one yet they think I ruptured
Both my nuts and had to get surgery one of the gal’s made a comment that made me laugh she said why are you so nice now did some one take you to the vet and get you neutered I just smiled at her and walked off a little stop from actually laughing
Depression is real like others have said you can not always see it in yourself
It’s others around you that see it in you listen to the concerns of those closest to you they have your best interest in mind they love you and care for you let them help you seek help anyone here in the E.A. will listen to you and try to help in any way we can
4 june 08
For the last two weeks some really strange shit has been going on
I have been getting nocturnal erections I do not under stand why
I am going to research my multi victims to see if there is any thing in the make up that have testosterone Similar qualities it seams that my penis dose not always get the same all the time
Most of the time it’s half erect but last night really freaked me out I had a wet dream
Only a couple of drops came out by time I woke up to run to the bath room
I am really at a lost for this because iam not on hrt I have been drinking beer
Now every once in a while but surely beer cant do that can it
Iam also going to remove beef temp. from my diet to see if that changes anything
I know they use some steroids and or growth hormones
Any one who may know please help
__________________
24 July 08
Yea its been 6 months now yea I have ruled out the vitamins, steak and beer for the cause of nocturnal erections
I have come to believe that my brain is probably trying to compensate for the lack of hormones (hash)
The nocturnal erections have sub sided it takes about a half hour to 45 minn. To get an erection hard enough to masturbate ohhhh. It feels sooo good
I have only achieved it twice since its not worth the trouble I just wanted to see if I could
I’m still very happy as a eunuch I have not experience any depression as of yet
I would not change any thing if I was able to do it over except video tape the
Castration process
Hot flashes have became less frequent but it’s so phucking hot right now I cant really tell it seams as though I sweet moor easily and for the past month and a half I have been experiencing arthritic pains especially in mornings and stormy days
But in all it has all been worth it I really love my new life