body creates a need for change.

Some of you may have followed my story from pre castration to post op here on the eunuch thread or even on the film shown on UK t.v. about eunuchs. one thing that i have not shared much has been with me for a while. i do think that there is a great need for a community like this one for people like i, thus i have returned to share more of my story.

currently i am recovering from a nose job. i had mentioned before that i have issues with the over all shape of my body and face. post castration i returned home from Dr. Kimmels on no form of HRT and with little understanding of just what would happen to my body and brain functions. i stuck with what i knew at the time and kept up on my occupation. however my body became weaker physically and mentally i became slower. friends and family noticed these changes and felt the need to address them promptly.

i was asked what i though i was doing to myself and had to face the effects of a huge loss of hormones. i looked more and more androgenous as i become thinner and less active. i knew that this was not what i wanted and had to plan my future. i truly was at a cross road. continue on fading away, or become more of the person i had seen before.

my relief came in the form of HRT, to be more specific estrogens. i became comfortable with the thought of a transition to a more female form. however i never planned on coming to a point where gender re-assignment surgery would be a goal. at work as i blossomed into a beautiful girl, employees noticed the changes and so did my employer. i felt great pressure from my employer to fully transition and take on female pronouns. i changed my gender in court and came out to ever one i knew with this correction. how ever i never fully felt or feel like a woman.

to make myself happy i have continued on with surgeries and am hoping to reshape my body again, soon with more. right now i know that i am a great person because threw out these changes i have been driven to get out and see more of the world around me. people are allot more accepting than i had originally thought. in a case that others dont understand me or what i have become i explain it to them in simple terms so as not to frighten them. i attend weekly support groups for trans people here in seattle. i am able to be myself more and more and for that i thank the eunuch archive. at a time in my life when i knew little other than frustration, people came together to give me words of encouragement.

It is always great to here when one of our own has made the right choice for them self and has a far better life. You went down a road that many have thought about but few have ventured. It takes a very special person to walk that path and stay the course as well as you have done. You are very lucky that you are being so well accepted in your work place and in general.

We need people like you to spread the word and encourage others to seek and explore their inner self. Help people look within to see if crossing over is the right choice for them. People that are a eunuch, a transsexual are the ones that can offer great incite on how it is to feel and live as a person that has crossed over. Again congratulation on your new life. May it keep getting better.

I am glad you are doing well and are happy. It is good you had friends watching out for you. I look forward to reading more about your progress and I am pleased that you are finding happiness at a young age.

Wednesday a eunuch friend and I watched the documentary you were in and I was wondering what you had been up to since the filming. Thanks for letting us know.

Glad to hear things are going well for you.

Glad to hear that you are getting the support that you need. Will you keep your male identity on some level? Are you comfortable living as a woman all the time yet?

Milkman (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2008 5:06 pm Will you keep your male identity on some level? Are you comfortable living as a woman all the time yet?

I know that i will never truly be able to escape my old male identity. i live my life still some where in a state o middle sex, unisex or androgyny. i see my self as a beautiful female, yet i do not feel that i fully embody a women.....

I do live my life with an F on my license, but more than that i present myself as a female in day to day life.

homptydumpty (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:06 pm I know that i will never truly be able to escape my old male identity. i live my life still some where in a state o middle sex, unisex or androgyny. i see my self as a beautiful female, yet i do not feel that i fully embody a women.....

I do live my life with an F on my license, but more than that i present myself as a female in day to day life.

I'm glad you came back. We were talking about people who once were members who "disapeared" and its a relief your back and ok. Good luck with the new fuel (hormones) I can tell you that having some (for me) was better then little to none. Speaking of which its time for my weekly blast - I need it!

homptydumpty (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:06 pm I know that i will never truly be able to escape my old male identity. i live my life still some where in a state o middle sex, unisex or androgyny. i see my self as a beautiful female, yet i do not feel that i fully embody a women.....

I do live my life with an F on my license, but more than that i present myself as a female in day to day life.

I'm glad your back Zz. I hope you nose heals quickly and doesn't hurt too much.

Hugggs

Good to hear from you. I was wondering what happened to you.

Z,

I'm so happy for you. I know that you have fought the gender issue for a long time and I'm glad to see that you have now decided on a course to embark on.

It's also wonderful to find acceptance in your life for the person that you really are!

If I can every offer any advice or encouragement, please do not hesitate to ask.

Stay the course. The rewards will be many!