Milkman (imported) wrote: Fri May 07, 2010 5:24 am Maybe this is not the best time to ask, but here goes: You present as female, but how does your voice sound on the phone ? Is it convincingly female?

Hi Milkman,

I would say at least 9 times out of 10 I am addressed as "ma'am" on the phone without question or pause. This is true in cases where the caller does not know my name and when I use my legal first name. That is a name many people do not know.

Nonetheless, I still consider my voice a work in progress but I do not worry about it. One of the Archive members and his wife attended a party at my Minnesota home awhile back. He later told me how his wife was surpised at how feminine my voice sounded. He himself stated that, although my voice is relatively low pitched for a woman, I sounded something like Lauren Bacall. I considered that a wonderful compliment.

I am certain that people who knew me before I transitioned do not always notice a huge difference.

Hugs,

Danya

First things first! I had to run some errands today so I stopped by the gas station where Sonny works. We chatted a bit, then he started to help another customer. As I turned to leave, he asked if I had to leave right away. I told him I had things to get done but that I would see him again. I may make a quick trip out early this evening to say 'hi.'

I have an interview next Friday at a local company for a contract position. This is great news. As I have noted before, I can continue to look for a permanent position as I work a contract job.

It is possible I will have an interview for a permanent position next week, too. I'll hear about that tomorrow or Monday, most likely.

There are other things still in the works.

A dear friend here on EA spoke with me this morning. All I will say is she mentioned her concern over my pushing too hard and not getting enough sleep. I was really touched by our conversation. Her warning, plus that of Uncle Flo a few weeks back, made me realize I do need to slow down. This doesn't mean I will not work hard. But I do not need to overdo just about everything the way I have been. It is not healthy. So here it is at roughly 5 PM and I am home and taking things easy.

I will meet Sonny later this evening for dinner, but I will not let him treat even though he wants to. Paying my own way will help set boundaries. I also do not want to mislead him. He doesn't know about my trans status.

I have already emphasized that it might be good to have a friend to do fun things with, like visit the city.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 07, 2010 1:58 pm Hi Milkman,

I would say at least 9 times out of 10 I am addressed as "ma'am" on the phone without question or pause. This is true in cases where the caller does not know my name and when I use my legal first name. That is a name many people do not know.

Nonetheless, I still consider my voice a work in progress but I do not worry about it. One of the Archive members and his wife attended a party at my Minnesota home awhile back. He later told me how his wife was surpised at how feminine my voice sounded. He himself stated that, although my voice is relatively low pitched for a woman, I sounded something like Lauren Bacall. I considered that a wonderful compliment.

I am certain that people who knew me before I transitioned do not always notice a huge difference.

Hugs,

Danya

I've never really given a second thought that your voice sounds feminine - I like the Lauren Bacall reference, it fits. I will call one of these days when I search through the rubble on my desk and re-locate your number! Best wishes...

kristoff wrote: Fri May 07, 2010 6:50 pm I've never really given a second thought that your voice sounds feminine - I like the Lauren Bacall reference, it fits. I will call one of these days when I search through the rubble on my desk and re-locate your number! Best wishes...

Hi Kristoff!

Great

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed May 21, 2008 9:56 pm to hear from you. I appreciate your

comment about my voice. The Lauren Bacall reference is from our pal MrT.

Hope you are recovering well from your surgery and that it provides the pain relief you need.

Hugs,

Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 07, 2010 4:26 pm I will meet Sonny later this evening for dinner, but I will not let him treat even though he wants to. Paying my own way will help set boundaries. I also do not want to mislead him. He doesn't know about my trans status.

I have already emphasized that it might be good to have a friend to do fun things with, like visit the city.

My roommate was frustrated that I would have a 'date' with a man who works at a gas station. She thought he would not be good enough for me. Somehow, she has this idea that I am sophisticated and intelligent. Even worse , she assumes that someone employed at a gas station cannot be sophisticated and intelligent.

Turns out 'Sonny' was quite charming and a gentleman. He is from India, a Hindu and holds a masters degree in political science. Over a very late dinner, we had a very interesting conversation on all kinds of topics from astrophysics to global warming and even Indian politics. He wanted to sit and talk much longer, but I knew I needed to get home. I must get a good night's sleep.

I may need a quick consult with our Jesus over this Sonny 'situation.'

There are a number of jobs I need to apply for on Friday and all are permanent positions. It would be terrific if I were offered the contract job and could say "Sorry, but I start of permanent job at XYZ company in a week." Not a likely scenario, but it could happen.

My one chance for a good conversation this evening was ruined. When the phone rang, I was out telling 'Sonny' about who I am.

When I arrived at the gas station, I handed him a letter that briefly explained my life situation. Then we talked about it. He said he was still interested, stating that there are different ways to share sexual intimacy. He seemed sincere.

Nonetheless, I told him that this was not going to work. I was very concerned that 'Sonny' kept coming back to the subject of sex. He had started this at the end of dinner last night. Tonight, he wanted to go to a motel.

Sorry 'Sonny.' Ain't gonna happen.

I have nothing against sex, but I want some romance first. In this way, I am probably very old fashioned. Besides, I am not sure I want to have sex before GRS.

During our conversation, we were interrupted by frequent customers coming in to buy lottery tickets, cigarettes and other items. One younger man turned to me and said I should go home and watch the Blackhawks game. I quite honestly replied 'I do not know who the Blackhawks are.' He seemed a little upset. I explained that I had recently moved here. He explained that the Blackhawks are the Chicago hockey team.

As I was driving home, I suddenly got the idea that this man had been flirting with me. Or at least making an effort. Maybe I am wrong. :-\

Before I transitioned, I could not have flirted if my life depended on it. Not in a natural, unforced way. I had read lots of articles on flirting but none of those helped. Since transitioning, flirting comes naturally and I do not need to think about it. It just happens.

I still have trouble recognizing when someone else is flirting with me. On a number of occasions, my close Minnesota friend and a few others have told me things like 'he was flirting with you.' I'm always surprised!

Anyway, this afternoon a recruiter called me about a contract to hire position he thought was a good match. I am applying for this.

Another recruiter sent me an email about a great job in Moorhead, Minnesota. I am not at the point where I would consider a move to Moorhead. I have been there, and to neighboring Fargo, North Dakota.

Parts of the area around Fargo-Moorhead are beautiful, in a very open prairie way. I remember taking a drive west of Fargo one evening, while I was in the city for a technical training class. The immediate area seemed flatter than much of this region, if that is possible. In places, there are no buildings or trees and I felt that I could see to the edge of the earth. There were beautiful wild flowers.

I do not think I would thrive in Moorhead. There are too few people, it is far removed from a major city and the winters are brutally cold.

...

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat May 08, 2010 7:05 pm Another recruiter sent me an email about a great job in Moorhead, Minnesota. I am not at the point where I would consider a move to Moorhead. I have been there, and to neighboring Fargo, North Dakota.

Parts of the area around Fargo-Moorhead are beautiful, in a very open prairie way. I remember taking a drive west of Fargo one evening, while I was in the city for a technical training class. The immediate area seemed flatter than much of this region, if that is possible. In places, there are no buildings or trees and I felt that I could see to the edge of the earth. There were beautiful wild flowers.

I do not think I would thrive in Moorhead. There are too few people, it is far removed from a major city and the winters are brutally cold.

Your earlier posts show you don't need it but Minnesota State University Moorhead has Richard K. Adler, one of the nation's foremost expert on speech therapy for the transsexual voice. He and two others have recently published a text for speech pathologists on the subject (http://www.amazon.com/Communication-The ... 749&sr=8-3) "Voice And Communication Therapy for the Transgender/transsexual Client: A Comprehensive Clinical Guide (Paperback)" Should, by some freak of chance, you end up there, look him up. He is very good people.

Transward

transward (imported) wrote: Sat May 08, 2010 9:09 pm Your earlier posts show you don't need it but Minnesota State University Moorhead has Richard K. Adler, one of the nation's foremost expert on speech therapy for the transsexual voice. He and two others have recently published a text for speech pathologists on the subject (http://www.amazon.com/Communication-The ... 749&sr=8-3) "Voice And Communication Therapy for the Transgender/transsexual Client: A Comprehensive Clinical Guide (Paperback)" Should, by some freak of chance, you end up there, look him up. He is very good people.

Transward

Hi Transward,

Thanks for the information. Your post has got me thinking that I should investigate Moorhead a little this weekend. Although I have been in that area several times, I never checked out the environment for trans folk there. Do you know anything about it? Perhaps I will apply for this permanent job. I want to be working so I can get on with my life.

Thanks!

Danya

Hi Transward,

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 09, 2010 6:42 am Perhaps I will apply for this permanent job. I want to be working so I can get on with my life.

Thanks!

Danya

In the hour or so since I responded to Transward, I decided to start investigating permanent jobs in other parts of the country. I will not wait until early July to see what happens locally, my original contingency plan. I am

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Dec 07, 2008 9:35 pm hopeful that I will be able to

stay in the Chicago area, so I am not giving up on my job search here. If I do not have a job of some type (contract, contract to hire, or permanent) by mid-July, I will also move for good contract work.

Being unemployed is not good! Although I have adapted to my circumstances, I need to do everything I can to get my life back on track.