Page 92 of 129

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 7:15 pm
by Danya (imported)
Hi Danya,

...
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:04 am You are a nice combination as a research chemist and also have experience in the field of information technology. So have you ever applied for a position at the R&D depts of the pharmaceuticals? Im sure they would not miss a valuable asset like youπŸ’‘

This is my second response to your latest post, Kizahakan. I have decided to apply for several scientist type jobs I found this evening. All are in this metropolitan area. I also have the qualifications they want. One is a supervisory position and I have supervision experience from my research chemist days.

Another one of these jobs is with a company I have an IT-related application with. πŸ˜„ I do not expect the company will note this.

Yet another opportunity is in a civilian capacity with a branch of the US Armed Forces. :)

Still have active applications in my field of IT. It is all a waiting game.

All together this evening, I found 5 new IT jobs and 4 chemist/scientist jobs that look good.

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:58 pm
by kizahakan (imported)
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 7:15 pm This is my second response to your latest post, Kizahakan. I have decided to apply for several scientist type jobs I found this evening. All are in this metropolitan area. I also have the qualifications they want. One is a supervisory position and I have supervision experience from my research chemist days.

.

;) Well done on your quest for a new job, hopefully the more you apply the more you will get (of course for the ones that are suitable for your area of expertise)

I got your request from facebook and happily accepted and had the chance to see very nice shots, especially the ones that I guess shot by a wide angle lens, was really nice, I wonder how the scenery would like in the sunset or early morning

By the way, your name and especiallt that surname combination resembles me Portugal or can be Brasil anyway I prefer Portugal (closer to us) also thank you for your little nice comment about me, I wont be modest and I can say "yeah Im a piece of hot cake" but I really at least for the last 4 months work hard at the gym 🚢after work, not only I but everyone of us should try to take good care of ourselves in order to be relatively healthy after 70s πŸ™„ I can say that I ve never smoked not even a cigar ;) but I love wine (my weakest link)

Also you said, you are old enough to be my Mom, instead Id be looking you as a special and an expensive, rich fruit flavoured red Spanish or Porto (Portugal) wine ;) to be treated accordingly

At the end who can say no to a bit of bitter chocolade and a nice red wine combination πŸ™„

Is your email mentioned in facebook alive? Cause also Id love to send some nice shots of istanbul though you will see some from my page as well

Spring β›΅ has arrived here this weekend itd be around 20 to 23 celcius ( we dont use fahreneit )

So hope the weather there is also nice and you can enjoy your week end

Cheers,
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:04 am
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:10 am
Slammr (imported) [/quote] wrote:Wed Apr 28, 2010 10:05 pm [quote="kizahakan (imported)" t
ime=1272393240]
----------------------------
------------------------------

Dorian Gray of
the deep dark cellar where eternal youthness is being held as a victim ;)

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 12:30 pm
by Danya (imported)
Early next week
Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 17, 2010 2:46 pm , I will have a phone interview with the h
ead of the IT department at a certain well known university in Chicago. In fact, it has Chicago in its name. This is very good news, although the location is not the best. Unless it is in their downtown building. I could get this to work.

Meanwhile, two recruiters called me today because of the resume I have posted on the web. One spoke about a permanent job within easy commuting distance. This is also associated with educational 'stuff.' The other is a contract position.

I was sent an email by a company I have not applied with. They were letting me know I am under consideration. Not sure how this one happened.

I am also in the running for four contract jobs. All but one is downtown.

This morning, I submitted six applications and just found more jobs that match what I can do.

Still waiting on two other possibilities.

I will continue to work hard on my search. As I noted in an earlier post, I am extending this to chemistry and science jobs.

Even a contract job, with few or no benefits, would be fine for now. I would continue to search for permanent work and having current work experience would be a good thing on my resume.

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 5:13 pm
by Danya (imported)
;) ....
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:58 pm I got your request from facebook and happily accepted and had the chance to see very nice shots, especially the ones that I guess shot by a wide angle lens, was really nice, I wonder how the scenery would like in the sunset or early morning

I'd love to get sunset photos. With my job search schedule, this is difficult. That will change.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:58 pm By the way, your name and especiallt that surname combination resembles me Portugal or can be Brasil anyway I prefer Portugal (closer to us) also thank you for your little nice comment about me, I wont be modest and I can say "yeah Im a piece of hot cake" but I really at least for the last 4 months work hard at the gym 🚢after work, not only I but everyone of us should try to take good care of ourselves in order to be relatively healthy after 70s πŸ™„ I can say that I ve never smoked not even a cigar ;) but I love wine (my weakest link)

It's nice to hear that you like my name. Sometime I may share with you my real one. ;) Most people on the Archive use fictitious names and there is a very good reason I do not use my real name on Facebook. It has to do with looking for a job.

I like to joke that I have given up smoking four times. Truth is, I have smoked a total of four cigarettes in my life. I love fine wines, too.

I agree, it's a good idea to keep exercising throughout our lives. Lately, I've been getting in a lot of long walks.

;
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:58 pm ) Also you said, you are old enough to be my Mom, instead Id be looking you as a special and an expensive, rich fruit flavoured red Spanish or Porto (Portugal) wine ;) to be treated accordingly

At the end who can say no to a bit of bitter chocolade and a nice red wine combination πŸ™„

What a gentleman you are! To treat an old lady with such kind remarks.;) I really don't consider myself old at all and I like to think I have many young attitudes.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:58 pm Is your email mentioned in facebook alive? Cause also Id love to send some nice shots of istanbul though you will see some from my page as well

My email address on Facebook is correct, so you should be able to use it.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:58 pm Spring β›΅ has arrived here this weekend itd be around 20 to 23 celcius ( we dont use fahreneit )

So hope the weather there is also nice and you can enjoy your week end

In the Chicago area, it reached nearly 26 Celsius today and we have a tornado watch until later in the evening. Tomorrow should be more pleasant.

Hope you enjoy your weekend, too.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 5:15 pm
by Danya (imported)
tugon (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:58 pm I clicked on the link but the full article was not available. It looks interesting and I was wondering if you could copy the entire article so we all could read it?

Hi Tugon,

Earlier today, I spoke with one of the authorities here. I cannot post the entire article on this site. That would be making it available for free distribution when the magazine's own web site charges for it. This makes perfect sense.

What I will do is send you the entire article.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 12:36 pm
by kizahakan (imported)
Hi Danya,

Good to hear about your applications, now I think after some point, the ball will be at your side and you will try to chose the best, i think you are getting increased number of returns.

Old lady πŸ™„ come on, as long as you feel yourself healty and happy at what ever age you are, no one can be old but lets say can be experienced πŸ™„

Yep your name is Im sure very warm, at first glance Id assume some of your ancestors have Latin blood but I think they have some German blood, das ist auch ganz gut :) and yeah using fictious names is correct though I guess we can never be sure about the safety of internet unfortunately

For walking, it is the best and easiest sport that can be performed with joy and Im %100 sure, you are walkin quite a path while trying to shot the photos

I have some nce shots of my city and the nature around and be sending the pictures to your mail most probably by monday, Im keeping my photo database at the office;)

By the way the picture you have on the facebook (the one with the half of the face) looks really great that can only be perfomed by a naughty but a very experienced sweethearted lady ( oh my gush after reading what I ve written in terms of sentence structure and grammar , i felt myself as the Master Yoda from Starwars :)also he talks like me witout structure ) anyhow since english is not my mother tongue sometime I run out of my vocabulary but anyhow it is really great to have such open minded and hearted friends from here;)

Cheers,

Hakan

[quote="kizah
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:58 pm akan (imported)" time=1272585840]
kizah [/quote] akan (imported) wrote:Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:10 am
Sl [/quote] ammr (imported) wrote:Wed Apr 28, 2010 10:05 pm
----------------------

Dorian Gray of Istanbul

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 7:43 pm
by Danya (imported)
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 12:36 pm Hi Danya,

Good to hear about your applications, now I think after some point, the ball will be at your side and you will try to chose the best, i think you are getting increased number of returns.

Hi Hakan,

A close friend back in Minnesota, who is a similar line of work, agrees that with the responses I am getting, a job opportunity will probably open for me soon. It may even be more than one, as you suggest. She went through a similar period of unemployment and now has a terrific permanent job.

My computer has been down for a day and I just got it partially repaired. Soon I will be able to get back to job searching.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 12:36 pm Old lady πŸ™„ come on, as long as you feel yourself healty and happy at what ever age you are, no one can be old but lets say can be experienced πŸ™„

For whatever reason, I do not feel old at all. Still, I am a little surprised at how much I thrive on the energy of downtown Chciago at the age of 58.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 12:36 pm Yep your name is Im sure very warm, at first glance Id assume some of your ancestors have Latin blood but I think they have some German blood, das ist auch ganz gut :) and yeah using fictious names is correct though I guess we can never be sure about the safety of internet unfortunately

Unfortunately :), none of my ancestors have Latin blood. I am of German, Austrian and Transylvanian :D descent!
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 12:36 pm For walking, it is the best and easiest sport that can be performed with joy and Im %100 sure, you are walkin quite a path while trying to shot the photos

I walked for three hours early today, on my second trip to the Chicago Botanic Garden. The conditions were seldom optimal for photo shooting, although I took 123 pictures. Then I walked another hour at Woodfield Mall early this evening.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 12:36 pm I have some nce shots of my city and the nature around and be sending the pictures to your mail most probably by monday, Im keeping my photo database at the office;)

I would love to visit Istanbul. Part of my interest is from studying Latin for four years, several decades ago. I enjoy ancient history and have read a lot about the city from the time of its founding as Constantinople.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 12:36 pm By the way the picture you have on the facebook (the one with the half of the face) looks really great that can only be perfomed by a naughty but a very experienced sweethearted lady ( oh my gush after reading what I ve written in terms of sentence structure and grammar , i felt myself as the Master Yoda from Starwars :)also he talks like me witout structure ) anyhow since english is not my mother tongue sometime I run out of my vocabulary but anyhow it is really great to have such open minded and hearted friends from here;)

That photo is the one I used to use for my Facebook profile, with the hair color I prefer.

I was feeling quite naughty today πŸ˜„ A worker at a gas station was ogling me. I have seen him once before When I went to pay for coffee and a snack, he said I did not have to pay for the coffee. Then he asked me my name. I gave him my middle name and he introduced himself, while he continued to look me over. This surprised me, since I was wearing a blouse and pants. Not the dress or skirt with top that have gotten me admiring comments and even whistles before.

This man seemed sweet! I long to be in a dating relationship. This may never happen, though. I will still be happy.

Then a man at the check-out counter at the computer store said "May I have your phone number?" I was tired by this time and for a second connected his comment to the man at the gas station. I (almost) immediately realized he was not asking me out. I never give out my phone number to merchants.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 10:01 pm
by transward (imported)
...
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:18 pm This issue also contains an article entitled "The Third Gender" with a subtext "Transsexuals are illuminating the biology and psychology of sex - and revealing just how diverse the human species really is." ... The writer notes the diversity of transgender expression in humans. I find it disturbing that he proceeds directly from his opening observations on transvestism (which for some would be more properly referred to as cross-dressing) to:

"As researchers probe the biological, psychological and cultural underpinnings of transsexuality in its myriad forms, they continue to be astounded by the individual variation they find."

My problem with this is two-fold. First, the article title specifies transsexuals as the subject and opens with two paragraphs about 'transvestism.' This may confuse those who are not well informed on the variety of transgender expressions. Especially when (concern Two) there is no seque into the transsexuality discussion.

Then there is the title subtext "...illuminating the biology and psychology of sex" when gender identity is, as correctly stated in paragraph 3, distinct from biological sex and sexual orientation. ..

There is a lot of space given to the ideas of psychiatrist Ray Blanchard and psychologist Anne Lawrence. Blanchard originated the concept of 'autogynephilia.' Lawrence, who is a MtF transsexual, made some adjustments to this model. Autogynephilia is the idea that heterosexual MtF transsexuals are aroused by the idea of being women.

Excuse me here. πŸ˜„ I most definitely am a heterosexual MtF transsexual and I was never aroused by the idea of being a women. Anyway, natal women are known to be sexual beings who enjoy that physical aspect of their being. Should MtF, heterosexual transsexuals be any different?

Autogynephila was also elaborated by J. Michael Bailey in the 2003 book The Man Who Would Be Queen. There is a Wikipedia article
[quote="Danya (imported)" time
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:18 pm =1272542580]
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
The_Man_Who_Would_Be_Queen#Controversy)on positive and negative responses to this work.

Part of the outcry resulted because it was published by the National Academy of Sciences. Critics contend that the methodology used by Blanchard, and others, to sup
[/quote]
port his claims was not
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:18 pm scientifically based at all. ... Referring to BaileyΒ’s shoddy scholarship and deeply flawed
research methods, Dr. Coleman emphatically declared: Β“We need to challenge bad science.Β”

I have been meaning to reply to this post, but it's been a chaotic week, and this is the first chance I've had. First a quick reason I feel entitled to comment. For the better part of the last decade I supervised and scheduled facilitators for trans support groups for the self described longest continously running support organization for trans people in the country. Most weeks we had four or five meeting, with me often ending up facilitating two or three myself. Among those who facilitated meetings for me were Anne Lawrence (twice a month) and, once or twice, Marcie Bowers (before she went to Trinidad and became the face of American SRS) . Several times I have argued autogynephilia with Anne Lawrence, who is a brilliant woman, (though with the people handling skills of a rabid pit bull.) I was a very good facilitator because I was good at staying invisible and getting shy, scared people to talk about things they had never been able to say to any one else before, and even reasonably good at getting them to shut up when the disfunctional tried to make themselves the whole center of the meeting. Over the years I have probably listened to at least a thousand trans people tell their stories, and have observed
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:18 pm maybe forty or so over a period of several years.

"My problem with this is two-fold. First, the article title specifies transsexuals as the subject and opens with two paragraphs about 'transvestism.' This may confuse those who are not well informed on the variety of transgender expressions. Especially when (concern Two)
there is no seque into the transsexuality discussion."

One thing I have learned is that all the trans labels "Transsexual" "Cross Dresser" "Transvestite" etc. are useful only when you keep in mind that they are descriptors of current behavior, not intrinsic nature or any predictor of future behavior. I have seen couples come in when the husband gets caught cross dressing, and listened to "I am strictly a heterosexual cross dresser" only to meet the same person a couple of years later coming back to America from Thailand fresh from SRS and off to marry a man. I know a couple of people who have followed the trans yellow brick road all the way through the various gatekeepers all the way to SRS, FFS, breast augmentation, the whole nine yards, go off to live happily ever after as a woman, only to return, have the inserts pulled, had chest liposuction and gone back to living as a ma
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:18 pm n. (I never figured out whether he was F2M or what.)

Then there is the title subtext "...illuminating the biology and psychology of sex" when gender identity is, as correctly stated in paragraph 3, dis
tinct from biological sex and sexual orientation.

I get very tired of those who insist that there is no link between gender and sex and that transsexuality has nothing to do with sex. It is not your identity as a chemist or an American we are talking about. It is about identity that is associated generally with a particular sexual and reproductive role. True, gender and sex are not the sam
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:18 pm e thing, but they are not completely distinct either.

There is a lot of space given to the ideas of psychiatrist Ray Blanchard and psychologist Anne Lawrence. Blanchard originated the concept of 'autogynephilia.' Lawrence, who is a MtF transsexual, made some adjustments to this model. Autogynephilia is the idea that heterosexual MtF
transsexuals are aroused by the idea of being women.

Had Blanchard coined the term as autogye-erotic, or autogyne-arousal, no one but a few hundred sexologists would have ever read about it, but -philia is a loaded term referring to fetishes, so the entire trans community collectively had a hissy fit and made Blanchard and Bailey famous and rich. But the whole thing is a straw man that we waste our energy on. It is an ancient observation that there is a difference between male and female sexuality. Men tend to be pretty straight forward. He wants her. Period. But for women it is more complex, not that they don't want men, but that they want men to want them, (this is one reason that women raping men is so rare, just having sex is not sufficient for most women) A large part of female sexuality is tied up in having a body that will entice the appropriate partner. The whole point of lingerie is autogyne-erotic. The whole beauty industry, cosmetic surgery industry depends on it. Also the observation on which the theory is bases is quite valid. Trans people tend to cluster in distinct types, particularily late and early transitioners, but Blanchards theory is too simple. I am sure that there are far more than two types of transsexuals. Also his terminology is deliberately provocative. To label feminine trans people a
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:18 pm s "homosexual" is to deliberately deny their claim to being women.

Excuse me here. πŸ˜„ I most definitely am a heterosexual MtF transsexual and I was never aroused by the idea of being a women. Anyway, natal women are known to be sexual beings who enjoy that physical aspect of their being. Should
MtF, heterosexual transsexuals be any different?

I think you need to think that through. Before you transitioned, if you had no libido or fantasies, then you have a much larger problem then simply being transsexual. Assuming that you did actually have sexual fantasies, if you weren't female in them, then I don't think you are actually transsexual. And if you were female in your fantasies, then trying to decide whether you were aroused by HAVING A FEMALE BODY making love to a man, or by MAKING LOVE TO A MAN while having a female body, is less productive than deciding how many angels can dance on the hea
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:18 pm d of a pin. Another red herring to waste our energy.

Autogynephila was also elaborated by J. Michael Bailey in the 2003 book The Man Who Would Be Queen. There is a Wikipedia article on positive and negative responses to this work.

Part of the outcry resulted because it was published by the National Academy of Sciences. Critics contend that the methodology used by Blanchard, and others, to sup
port his claims was not scientifically based at all.

Of course it's bad science. It is after all sociology. There are few studies in sociology whose methodology would meet the standards of hard science, or even the much less strict standards of psychology. You would be hard pressed to come up with a dozen sociological studies in the last fifty years that would pass hard science standards.

Transward

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 11:38 pm
by Danya (imported)
transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 10:01 pm I have been meaning to reply to this post, but it's been a chaotic week, and this is the first chance I've had. First a quick reason I feel entitled to comment. For the better part of the last decade I supervised and scheduled facilitators for trans support groups for the self described longest continously running support organization for trans people in the country. Most weeks we had four or five meeting, with me often ending up facilitating two or three myself. Among those who facilitated meetings for me were Anne Lawrence (twice a month) and, once or twice, Marcie Bowers (before she went to Trinidad and became the face of American SRS) . Several times I have argued autogynephilia with Anne Lawrence, who is a brilliant woman, (though with the people handling skills of a rabid pit bull.) I was a very good facilitator because I was good at staying invisible and getting shy, scared people to talk about things they had never been able to say to any one else before, and even reasonably good at getting them to shut up when the disfunctional tried to make themselves the whole center of the meeting. Over the years I have probably listened to at least a thousand trans people tell their stories, and have observed
maybe forty or so over a period of several years.
transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 10:01 pm One thing I have learned is that all the trans labels "Transsexual" "Cross Dresser" "Transvestite" etc. are useful only when you keep in mind that they are descriptors of current behavior, not intrinsic nature or any predictor of future behavior. I have seen couples come in when the husband gets caught cross dressing, and listened to "I am strictly a heterosexual cross dresser" only to meet the same person a couple of years later coming back to America from Thailand fresh from SRS and off to marry a man. I know a couple of people who have followed the trans yellow brick road all the way through the various gatekeepers all the way to SRS, FFS, breast augmentation, the whole nine yards, go off to live happily ever after as a woman, only to return, have the inserts pulled, had chest liposuction and gone back to living as a ma
n. (I never figured out whether he was F2M or what.)
transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 10:01 pm I get very tired of those who insist that there is no link between gender and sex and that transsexuality has nothing to do with sex. It is not your identity as a chemist or an American we are talking about. It is about identity that is associated generally with a particular sexual and reproductive role. True, gender and sex are not the sam
e thing, but they are not completely distinct either.....

Hi Transward,

I am very glad you responded to my post and in such detail. It's nearly 2:30 AM, so I don't have time to comment at length or on all of your points. So just a few comments for now.

I am very aware that there are those who have SRS, and other transforming procedures, and later regret it. That's a point well made. And I agree that the terms we use are not (necessarily) predictors of future behavior. There is a danger of limiting ourselves or making wrong decisions if we insist on clinging to an 'identity' that no longer works. Gender identity is fluid for some, at least.

In addition, I completely agree that gender and sex are not entirely independent of each other. I would say there is a definite interplay between these that should not be ignored. Most of us consider ourselves to be sexual beings regardless of our gender identity.

Thank you for taking the time to write about some important issues and your understanding of them. I very much appreciate your experience with trans people.

I'll try to write more when I have the time. Thanks for your thoughtful comments, informed by your significant experience with trans people.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 12:19 am
by Danya (imported)
transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 10:01 pm I think you need to think that through. Before you transitioned, if you had no libido or fantasies, then you have a much larger problem then simply being transsexual. Assuming that you did actually have sexual fantasies, if you weren't female in them, then I don't think you are actually transsexual. And if you were female in your fantasies, then trying to decide whether you were aroused by HAVING A FEMALE BODY making love to a man, or by MAKING LOVE TO A MAN while having a female body, is less productive than deciding how many angels can dance on the hea
d of a pin. Another red herring to waste our energy.

Hello again Transward,

I had to comment on this one before going to bed. I feel no need to defend who I am, my life history, whether I had sexual fantasies before transitioning or if they were of the right type, how I got to this point or that I am, indeed, a male-to-female transsexual. I have no intention of going down this path, ever, on this site. Although, as and aside :), if you followed some of my other threads before I created this one
Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 11:38 pm , you would know that I have addressed th
ese very things.

I am very glad you responded to my post, and I always enjoy hearing differing points of view and discussing these. I ask, though, that you leave your musings about my identity out of your comments. It's great to discuss and debate ideas. I thrive on that.

Best wishes,

Danya