Re: Seeking thoughts of Eunuchs, Nullos, and Penectomized, and serious wannabes
Posted: Fri May 14, 2021 2:50 am
Patience is a virtue, not something I have I am afraid. When I seeked medical help about whatever is going on in my life, I had already fargone my limits. I would've and should've gotten medical help in my teens however due to sexual abuse and being afraid of my father, my mind was very preoccupied with other things. I think you'd be able to understand that. You should never use sand as the foundation to build a house on, it'll likely collapse. That is a metaphor for my poor and vapidly declining mental health. I was talking with my therapist and psychiatrist about my goals for "transitioning" and they said they wanted to help me, however couldn't because I don't want to accept their help. So I explained there is a number of things I want to do however, for me a symbolic first step is to have an orchiectomy. Its extremely important to me, for reasons I have researched and compiled data for, and to alleviate my physical issues.
The truth is, my body is completely irreversibly destroyed by the verilization from my natal sex hormones, so even if I had wanted to be a male-to-female transsexual it'd be disingenuous and be very negative for my mental health since it'd be impossible to be socialized as a woman, for reasons one and two. One, being cis-passing is extremely important because looks denote how you get treated; somebody who looks like a transvestite is unlikely to gain proper socialization because people will treat them like a natal male sans pronouns and name out of courtesy. Two, I have ASD meaning I failed to socialize like a neurotypical male of my birthsex meaning I am essentially defective or in other words, have experiences completely atypical of the normal male social class: I wouldn't change it for the world because that what makes me unique.
My point is, I want it because I desire the same abstinence I felt pre-puberty and want asexuality. I feel very similar to most male-to-female transsexuals except for the parts where I don't. Maybe its the fear of being associated with degenerates that are most likely the autogynephiles seen in the media, maybe its because of trans radical activists pushing a very literally insane ideology like pushing the idea that women who where born as natal males should compete in sports with natal women, natal males have very clear biological advantages over natal women; longer legs, higher muscle density, lower q-angle, large differences in hormones produced by the adrenal glands; its brutal. Then saying its "transphobic" to have genital preferences and trying to guilt men into dating transsexual women. Most transsexual women I have spoken to want to not be recognized as trans, its not a badge of honor being recognized as trans like being impaled though the chest, most want to be seen as natal women; it is painful and trans radical activists are not making it easier.
That's why I am taking a very methodical approach to everything. It doesn't help that Blanchards "friend" who wrote the specification on the DSM-V is a proven paedophile and the WPATH uses those idea's to identify and give treatment gender dysphoric patients. I much prefer Benjamin's work, it has a better application to the male-to-eunuch model. And don't get me started on the atrocities by that "John Money" person who castrated a boy and made him do sexual acts with his uncle and brother and forcibly tried to socialize them as female to prove a strawman argument. The boy, later found out he was lied to and found out he was indeed a man and tried to pick up scraps of what was stolen from him "transitioned" into a man using trt but ultimately shot himself.
My apologies for going on a vent. Its easy to drown in the negativity. I have been completely enveloped by it. Which is why I will never be a transsexual woman, because it'd be too painful. I am a serious wannabe eunuch since I still want to still have some resemblance of a male identity. It allows me to cure my dysphoria with getting pummeled to death by some uneducated dunce that would otherwise make false assumptions about myself and want me buried 6ft under the earth.
The truth is, my body is completely irreversibly destroyed by the verilization from my natal sex hormones, so even if I had wanted to be a male-to-female transsexual it'd be disingenuous and be very negative for my mental health since it'd be impossible to be socialized as a woman, for reasons one and two. One, being cis-passing is extremely important because looks denote how you get treated; somebody who looks like a transvestite is unlikely to gain proper socialization because people will treat them like a natal male sans pronouns and name out of courtesy. Two, I have ASD meaning I failed to socialize like a neurotypical male of my birthsex meaning I am essentially defective or in other words, have experiences completely atypical of the normal male social class: I wouldn't change it for the world because that what makes me unique.
My point is, I want it because I desire the same abstinence I felt pre-puberty and want asexuality. I feel very similar to most male-to-female transsexuals except for the parts where I don't. Maybe its the fear of being associated with degenerates that are most likely the autogynephiles seen in the media, maybe its because of trans radical activists pushing a very literally insane ideology like pushing the idea that women who where born as natal males should compete in sports with natal women, natal males have very clear biological advantages over natal women; longer legs, higher muscle density, lower q-angle, large differences in hormones produced by the adrenal glands; its brutal. Then saying its "transphobic" to have genital preferences and trying to guilt men into dating transsexual women. Most transsexual women I have spoken to want to not be recognized as trans, its not a badge of honor being recognized as trans like being impaled though the chest, most want to be seen as natal women; it is painful and trans radical activists are not making it easier.
That's why I am taking a very methodical approach to everything. It doesn't help that Blanchards "friend" who wrote the specification on the DSM-V is a proven paedophile and the WPATH uses those idea's to identify and give treatment gender dysphoric patients. I much prefer Benjamin's work, it has a better application to the male-to-eunuch model. And don't get me started on the atrocities by that "John Money" person who castrated a boy and made him do sexual acts with his uncle and brother and forcibly tried to socialize them as female to prove a strawman argument. The boy, later found out he was lied to and found out he was indeed a man and tried to pick up scraps of what was stolen from him "transitioned" into a man using trt but ultimately shot himself.
My apologies for going on a vent. Its easy to drown in the negativity. I have been completely enveloped by it. Which is why I will never be a transsexual woman, because it'd be too painful. I am a serious wannabe eunuch since I still want to still have some resemblance of a male identity. It allows me to cure my dysphoria with getting pummeled to death by some uneducated dunce that would otherwise make false assumptions about myself and want me buried 6ft under the earth.
.