Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[Mac (imported)]

I have been having a terrific time visiting Erica Ann and her spouse. As part of the ongoing birthday celebration, we spent several hours at Hunter's nightclub on Friday night. We were getting ready to leave at around 2 AM when I met this very handsome younger man who wanted to speak with me.

He and I wound up dancing very closely and intimately. I was in heaven! When I first visited Hunter's in February of last year, I had a great time dancing. Back then I wrote how that was the first time in my life I so effortlessly got into dancing, thanks to being my true self.

........................

It must be difficult to re-learn to dance as a girl. I enjoy dancing and think that would be rather difficult for me to do.

[Danya (imported)]

It must be difficult to re-learn to dance as a girl. I enjoy dancing and think that would be rather difficult for me to do.

Hi Mac,

I did not know how to dance before transitioning. Throughout high school and college I never went to a single dance. I had no desire to date young women nor did I attempt to so that I could fit in.

So I am not relearning at all, just feeling very uninhibited and having a lot of fun.

In a small way, I felt like I was at formal dance as my male partner grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. This was very nice!

I just returned home from Illinois, having had an all around wonderful time.

Hugs,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

As far as dancing goes (see previous post), walkiing like a woman and similar things: I have never had much of a problem. Long before I transitioned, way back in junior high school, my 7th grade teacher decided he had to instruct me on walking like a boy. I was walking like a girl and he didn't want me to stand out.

After that, and until I transitiioned, I was always monitoring the way I walked. Walking the way most men do never came naturally to me. It was liberating to give that up.

I have heard of some trans women who have to be instructed how to sit like a woman, too. This was not an issue for me as I always have sat this way.

It's been 6 months now that I have been unemployed. I've reached a good emotional place where I simply believe everything will work out. I will make good things happen in my life as I have before.

A close friend who has been without work for 3 months just got a very good permanent job. My turn will come. I just don't know when.

In the meantime, I am going to spend some money to restart electroloysis. This facial hair thing simply won't do! Fortunately, it's not very visible now. I am hoping to get a good start on this before finding work. Of course, if I am offered a good job before then, I won't turn it down.

[Danya (imported)]

I never thought, before transitioning, that I would have so

many wonderful people in my life,

near and far. Leaving friends behind for a move will be more difficult than I realized. I never knew caring could cause me this much pain.

For 15 years I have lived alone and for most of that time I was not lonely. Or else my loneliness was so buried I

did not notice it. Now I want people

in my life more than I ever imagined possible for me.

[Danya (imported)]

Tonight, I need to keep in mind how far I have come since early November 2007. That's when I first saw a gender therap

ist at the University of Minnesota.

What a relief it was, although at that point I wasn't certain where the path would lead.

In about 3 1/2 months, it will be two years since

I transitioned to full time living as

my 'true self.' A lot has changed in my life during this time and, in nearly all ways, my life has become better than I could have imagined.

Now, though, I feel stuck. Only yesterday, I had the feeling that I am on the verge of fulfilling my goals of completing electrolysis and GRS, perhaps within the next 2 years. Or maybe even less time, I've told myself.

But packing and disposing of most of my personal belongings (physically moving some of my things while I sell or give away nearly everything) are taking a toll. I'm wondering if my life could possibly get any worse.

Just as I've adapted to being unemployed, while continuing to work very hard to find a new position, much of the rest of my life seems to be spiraling out of control. I've never enjoyed moving but at least before I was always able to keep most of what I owned. That's just not a possibility this time.

I am floundering, not knowing where to turn or if my life will ever return to some type of normal existence. As in a job that pays a decent wage, among other things.

I know I am physically and emotionally worn out, but knowing this is not helping. I cannot go to bed tonight with the thought that tomorrow will be better; it will simply be the same.

Somehow, I have got to allow time for enough rest and fun even as I feel I have lost my bearings. Then, I expect I will regain a sense of well being and even see the return of the excitement I have been feeling about the impending changes in my life.

[Danya (imported)]

I know I am physically and emotionally worn out, but knowing this is not helping. I cannot go to bed tonight with the thought that tomorrow will be better; it will simply be the same.

Turns out today is much better. This morning, I met with a friend for coffee. She has also been my career coach. She knows all of my reasons for moving and noted that "you are glowing with excitement." She's also one of many local friends who thinks this move is a terrific thing for me. It will open more career options. This is also the first time in my life I have had some ability to choose where I want to live.

I'll also be with people who care about me - above all Erica Ann. When I return home from visiting Erica Ann and her family I feel empty now, something I never expected.

Thank God I feel back to my more usual frame of mind. Moving and other changes to my life are not easy and I still hate packing. Everything will work out for the better.

[Danya (imported)]

For several reasons, I have decided it's time for me to stop posting on the Archive. The only reason I am mentioning this is so no one wonders what happened to me.

This has been a great place for me and I appreciate all of the supportive comments and also those who have chosen, at times, to challenge my thinking.

I appreciate all the hard work of the dedicated people who run the Archive.

It has been a privilege for me to meet a number of folks on this site and to communicate with many more. There are a lot of terrific people here.

I wish everyone the very best on your own journeys.

[Paolo]

You have to do what's best for you. Please keep in touch!

[Mac (imported)]

For several reasons, I have decided it's time for me to stop posting on the Archive. The only reason I am mentioning this is so no one wonders what happened to me.

This has been a great place for me and I appreciate all of the supportive comments and also those who have chosen, at times, to challenge my thinking.

I appreciate all the hard work of the dedicated people who run the Archive.

It has been a privilege for me to meet a number of folks on this site and to communicate with many more. There are a lot of terrific people here.

I wish everyone the very best on your own journeys.

Dear Danya,

It has been a pleasure following your transition on the board. You will be greatly missed. I will give you some going away reputation to add to your count.

Best Wishes

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

You will, indeed, be missed. --FLO--