Went to see another doctor yesterday. My wife said my snoring is getting worse. I found out my sinuses are pretty screwed up and will probably require surgery. Oh goody. I had to tell him about previous sugerys and he didn't freak when I told him I had an Orchi. He didn't even ask why. Looks like I'll have another fun vacation. Steve

Friday at 9am I go under the knife again to get my beak worked on. My surgeon is going to redo the deviated septum surgery I had done 33 yrs ago and make my turbinates smaller. This will be more fun than the fishing I want to do. Steve

Will you breath easier or better? What's the "catch?" Hash

Hash (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:56 am Will you breath easier or better? What's the "catch?" Hash

I think, or hope the amswer to both is yes. I think the turbinates are the biggest problem as I stuff up at night when I sleep. After I heal up, they want to do another sleep study and that will determine weather or not he needs to reshape my palate. This involves removal of the Uvula. I'm not looking forward to that. I guess It would be a good option for those who like to suck

. No more chocking.

Sounds worse than castration. Good luck and pray that after it's all over you sleep like a baby or at least like you should. Hash

Hash (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:00 pm Sounds worse than castration. Good luck and pray that after it's all over you sleep like a baby or at least like you should. Hash

Hi Hash, Thanks for the good wishs. Surgery went well. My Dr. said my nose was more screwed up than he first thought. He was able to repair all the damage, but the packing has to stay in until Monday afternoon. I hate not being able to breath through my nose. I was told I woke up fighting to blow my nose. During the night, I woke up every two hrs. to spit up blood and re-hydrate my dry mouth. So in many ways castration wasn't as tramatic. Thank God for drugs. Steve

I went to see my nose Dr. today for a post, post-op check. My Dr. was amazed. He couldn't stop patting himself on the back. He is a great doctor, but before going into surgery I put in a good word to the Heavenly doctor upstairs. I think prayer works and it did in this case. My Dr. said he didn.t know how my nose got so messed up. I don't either. I must have been dropped on my nose as a small child. Any way it's near perfect now. I didn't know what it was to be able to breath correctly until now. It's great.

As a little side note. When I entered the pre-op area, the nurse ask me to list all previous surgerys. When I said Bi-lateral Orchiectomy, she said what's that. When I said, castration , it didn't seem to faze her. Later when I was hooked up to the IV, another nurse came in and ask me what the Orchi was for. I miss understood the question, thinking she didn't know what it was either, and told her it was castration. What she wanted to kinow was why was I castrated. I didn't think it was any of her business, but I told her it was because of pain. She said they usually don't castrate for that, it must have been elective. I guess we don't have the right to live pain free unless we use drugs to do so. I told her I haven't even had a headache since the operation. She just shrugged her sholders and walked off. The next time I saw her, no more was said about it and I was treated well. I'm glad I didn't get into the more real reason. Sometimes, part of the truth is better than the whole truth. I can't wait until some unknowing Dr. asks me to drop my pants. I wonder if I should warn them first or go for the shock value.

Any way, I'm doing great. I'm still on 300 mg. depo-testosterone. At times I get a little more tired, but other than that I don't note any differance from before surgery. The big difference is I'm much more comfortable without my balls and sack and my groin and head pains are gone. Since my back therapy, my back is much better. Now if I could get over these feeling that I want to be a woman, which won't happen, I'd be really great. I guess that's asking for too much. I am very happy with the things that have been fixed though. My wife thinks I should talk to the Psychiatrist some more. Maybe I should, but I think it's just something I have to learn to deal with. Steve

Hairless (imported) wrote: Wed Aug 30, 2006 4:46 pm Now if I could get over these feeling that I want to be a woman, which won't happen, I'd be really great. I guess that's asking for too much. I am very happy with the things that have been fixed though. My wife thinks I should talk to the Psychiatrist some more. Maybe I should, but I think it's just something I have to learn to deal with. Steve

Hairless/Steve,

You are part of the "control group" for us transgendered folk. Namely, how is life if one doesn't transition? Of course, there are different intensities, but every input is useful.

Are you still on the Lexapro? My family wants me to forestall transition for several years. Personally, I don't think it's possible. If I were to give in to their wishes, however, I'd have to find a good anti-depressant to survive.

Just wondering if that's your experience: without transition, is an anti-depressant necessary? (Hope the question isn't too personal.)

Terri

bryan (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 01, 2006 5:14 pm Hairless/Steve,

You are part of the "control group" for us transgendered folk. Namely, how is life if one doesn't transition? Of course, there are different intensities, but every input is useful.

Are you still on the Lexapro? My family wants me to forestall transition for several years. Personally, I don't think it's possible. If I were to give in to their wishes, however, I'd have to find a good anti-depressant to survive.

Just wondering if that's your experience: without transition, is an anti-depressant necessary? (Hope the question isn't too personal.)

Terri

I'm not on Lexapro any more. Couldn't go cold turkey. It took about 2 months to ween myself off of it. My wife thought I was a little better when I was on it, but I couldn't tell the difference. I don't like being on any more drugs than I have to be. I'm still on 300 mg. depo-T so I probably don't have the depression problems that you have. God made us to need hormones to function properly. Are you seeing a Doctor or therapist to help you through all this crazyness? You shouldn't go through it alone. The therapists I have seen have been very helpful and understanding.

I don't know that I am the right person to be part of a control group. My situation is a little different than most. I have too many people who need me to be a man and I'm not selfish enough to tell them to go jump. Also I think if I transitioned, I could be the bride of Frankinstien. I will not be a freak. I'm just hopeful that the love of God and the love of my wife and family will get me through what ever time I have left on this planet. I tend to freak out a little once in a while and my wife has been there to help me through it.

Any and all prayers would be greatly appreciated from all you folks of faith. Being gender disphoric with no place to go is a little like being in Hell. I can use all the help I can get. Everyone has been pretty quiet lately, but I thank those who hold me in their thoughts. My therapists all thought this was a wonderful support group to belong to. I have recieved much and I hope I have given something back.

Bryan/Terri, sorry if this is more than you wanted to hear. You can ask me anything, I just can't guarantee my reply will be what you want to hear. I hope everything goes well with you and your family. I know you are a good person and you will do what ever you need to do get through this thing. My prayers and best wishes go with you and yours. Steve

I started a new Testosterone regime today. I was getting a little tired the last week of my monthly shot, so I'm going to get them every three weeks now. Everything else seems to be going fine though. Over all I think I feel better than before castration. I know the equipment I have left works better than it use to. This has been a big year for me with two operations. I hope that's it for a while. Steve