that is something i would really like to listen to.

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon May 12, 2008 3:06 pm A woman friend from work just informed me that a good friend of hers is a radio producer (I'm not sure what station she works for or if she works independly) who wants to do a documentary on me, of all people! Or more exactly, my life or transition or whatever.

I responded that I'd speak with the producer but cannot guarantee that I'm interested at this point. Perhaps a year or two down the road might be more appropriate, although it sounds like this producer may want to follow my transition experience. I will certainly have lots of questions before giving any serious thought to this. Like does this woman have any clue at all as to what being transgender is all about. If not, can she be educated and do I have the time to do that Do I even want strangers to know some of the details of my life is another biggie. There are other important things to consider, too, like who is the intended audience and what other experience with documentaries does she have. And btw, let me hear some examples of your earlier work!

I want to encourage you to "think" about doing it but please ask that it be done over a long period of time. These earlier parts of transition are (I'm sure) quite interesting but the whole picture would be great and valuable perhapes to other people in transition or thinking about it. I think one thing that would be great is to "normalize" this so it becomes less news worthy.

Once everyone has a few friends who are "different" it becomes less different and the sooner that happens the better we all are I think.

But I also have to say that you don't have to become the "poster woman" for TS if you feel thats whats going to happen. I think its perfectly reasonable to want to have a quiet private transition and just start being Female on X day.

mrt (imported) wrote: Mon May 12, 2008 3:25 pm I want to encourage you to "think" about doing it but please ask that it be done over a long period of time. These earlier parts of transition are (I'm sure) quite interesting but the whole picture would be great and valuable perhapes to other people in transition or thinking about it. I think one thing that would be great is to "normalize" this so it becomes less news worthy.

Once everyone has a few friends who are "different" it becomes less different and the sooner that happens the better we all are I think.

But I also have to say that you don't have to become the "poster woman" for TS if you feel thats whats going to happen. I think its perfectly reasonable to want to have a quiet private transition and just start being Female on X day.

MrT,

I agree with you in that if I do this it will be over an extended period to get the whole picture. I have no problem talking about this with anyone. I was surprised at yesterday's Trans Health Fair (only the second to be held here) that I was more outgoing than many others there even though I went by myself. Such behavior would have been unusual for me as male but as myself I was clearly in my comfort zone. I was even having some success in drawing out other trans women so they'd talk about themselves. I did that partly through sharing some details of my own experience.

As Danya, I definitely feel that the possibilities for new directions in my life are now expanding, not diminishing at all despite the fact that I am middle-aged. One of the things i've seriously considered is speaking out about transgender people, our rights, our lives and so on. My life is becoming richer now.

This may or may not be the right time or opportunity for me to start speaking out about transgender folks. I am most definitely interested in finding out more.

-Danya

I think its worthy of doing and for people who are younger but just have fears of speaking out and being "different" it might be a plus. This whole thread(s) about allowing people under 18 to start transition before being legal adults has really made me think.

And of course this comment made that some faction of the Gay Lesbian world didn't want to include Transexuals. I dunno it all seems insane to me. Maybe a rational example of a TS person would help squash some of this crazy stuff...

As far as dresses and pants go, I can't even remember the last time I saw a woman in a dress (other than maybe in a store ad). They are fairly uncommon, at least in this part of the country. Most women these days seem to shy away from dresses. This is especially true for younger women. I have never seen a woman come to school in a dress, and she would certainly be very out of place if she did. Most women my age wear jeans or skirts. Usually jeans. I imagine when they finally enter the professional workforce they will put on slacks, but I would be very surprised to see many in dresses. Even older women don't wear dresses much anymore. But it is whatever makes you comfortable

plix (imported) wrote: Wed May 14, 2008 4:33 pm Most women my age wear jeans or skirts. Usually jeans. I imagine when they finally enter the professional workforce they will put on slacks, but I would be very surprised to see many in dresses. Even older women don't wear dresses much anymore. But it is whatever makes you comfortable

Hey Plix,

I'd be happy with a nice skirt but with my narrow hips they have a tendency to keep sliding down my body so I spend much of my time pulling it back into place. Not something I want to have to do. Where I work there a number of women who regularly wear dresses. In my division, which has few women, only one or two do.

I'm sure I will wear some slacks and I may even (gasp!) wear some levi-type jean-thingy slacks I've never liked jeans and don't find that they're any more comfortable than other slacks. I didn't have my first pair of jeans until I was at least a sophomore in college. Even then, it was only my roommate's goading that got me into them. That and the fact that he gave me an old but not too worn pair of his, so it was free! A very important thing back in those days.

There are so many expenses involved in the male to female transition. Electrolysis is not only painful on the face but on the wallet as well. I'm thrilled with the results so far but the cost!. It can add up to the price of a new compact car. [I may try to do part of what remains on my own - a friend on the Archive loaned me a home machine and I'm going to try it out. It would be an even slower process but save a lot of money.] The fact that I can run my hands over part of my face now and not feel any beard at all is wonderful. It's as if I've been taken back to that wonderful time before puberty started changing me. I am fortunate, in a way, that most of my hair is gray. The thickest areas have been taken care of and what remains isn't noticeable because of the color.

Then there are other possible expenses coming up culminating in another biggie: GRS. I'm starting to feel more that I will want this but time will tell. Even if I get some insurance coverage for this (which is actually fairly likely), I still need to start saving now.

Over the last 6 1/2 months I've been preoccupied with gender identity and I find everything involved fascinating. Reading and tracking down information on gender has consumed much of my free time.

So now it's time to get back to starting up a side business in photography. I was going strong with this until early January when my picture-taking came to a standstill. I will start again this weekend. I really enjoy photography so it's not a chore at all and it can bring in some needed funds. Only if I work on it, though

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed May 14, 2008 7:02 pm Hey Plix,

I'd be happy with a nice skirt but with my narrow hips they have a tendency to keep sliding down my body so I spend much of my time pulling it back into place. Not something I want to have to do.

Maybe suspenders would work? :-\

I am getting closer to the time when I can openly express who I am both at work and out of the office. This is giving me a new sense of freedom that is accompanied by increasing sexual fantasies.

I have mentioned elsewhere how, on low T, I experienced something I'd only read about before. Typical physiological reactions to sexual arousal: rapid heart beat and increased rate of breathing. The first time this happened, I had just gotten in bed and was doing relaxation exercises to help me sleep. I merely imagined a man over me. I almost hate to put it this way because it seems unscientific (educational handicap there!) but it was more like a vision of a man just appeared without my consciously willing it. This man in my vision did no more than start to lower himself over me. That was it, there was nothing else. I didn't have any genital arousal at all but my mental libido and my body's reactions were really strong. Just from a new and exciting female perspective. The experience was very powerful.

It happened again in a sexual encounter with a man interested in dating cross dressers or trans women. He treated me very much like a woman and it was the best sex of my life even though I did not orgasm. It was the excitement and the reactions of my body (heart rate and breathing), experiences so new to me during sex, that made this so wonderful. I've had plenty of orgasms in my life but nothing ever came close to the energy I felt from the visceral involvement of my entire body.

I don't want to embarrass anyone with the details but I am finding it very easy to build this same sexual excitement through fantasy alone and I am fantasizing much more frequently. I'm talking about a no-hands involved type of fantasy, too It is entirely mental. This is one of the reasons I am becoming increasingly interested in eventual GRS.

When I moved from my home in the south I started to see a therapist, who happened to be gay, in upstate NY. I started going to him a year or two after I came out. That was in 1995. I started out by asking him how do I know I’m really gay? He asked a bunch of questions, including did I feel more emotionally connected with men or women. I answered his questions including that fact that I very easily connect on an emotional level with women when I first meet them, much more so than when I first meet men. [This, I realize now, jives with my Archive posts describing my visits to the bar after work with female coworkers. I told them I felt just like one of the girls and that I’ve never felt that I fit in, emotionally, with groups of men gay or straight. I’ve always felt like an outsider with men and didn’t really understand why. Now, of course, I know.] That ‘connect with women emotionally’ thing, and I guess the other stuff I said, got his attention. He suggested I might actually be transsexual and I said ‘No way’, I’m still adjusting to being gay and, besides, I was too old to transition (that, remember was in 1996 -1997 time frame). He said he had a client who was 53 and transitioning. When I write this now it all becomes clearer to me. Even when I was telling him ‘No’ to being transsexual I was coming up with an excuse on why I could not transition. I wasn’t unequivocally stating that I wasn’t transsexual. Writing all this out really does help. Not that I need any additional confirmation of things but it does all fit and it's very interesting.