punkypink (imported) wrote: Sun Jun 07, 2009 12:11 am Danya you've really got a great eye for detail that is apparent in your pictures. The level of detail, the way it's framed, its all just right. You could open your very own hallmark line even

Hi Punkypink,

I'm glad you wrote and I really appreciate your kind remarks. Who knows, maybe someday I'll give Hallmark a run for their money.

I hope things continue to go well for you.

Hugs,

Danya

My work situation continued to deteriorate Friday. Late last year, my boss acknowledged the excessive demands on my time and apologized. He said he hoped that would get better soon. It has gotten worse, not better. I put in five hours remotely this morning. That's all I can write about this, I'm too upset about it.

Not that I won't recover. Late this afternoon, I went to church to practice the pipe organ for tomorrow's service. It doesn't take long for me to get totally involved in the music and feel free from my cares. When I am performing music myself, I soon feel that I am one not only with the music but with the instrument, too. Nothing else exists for me when I'm in this beautiful space.

It will be even better tomorrow because I really enjoy playing hymns and liturgy where people will sing.

It's good I got out of the house. I dressed nicely and this always relaxes me. So did the chocolate martini I had on the way to practice.

Life is not always easy for any of us. Although this is a very stressful time for me, I am still happy that at last I am being myself - Danya.

During the period of my life when I identified as gay, that identity never felt right.

When I first started this transition process, I had occasional but short-lived times of doubt. This is normal because crossing the gender divide is quite a leap.

Those doubts have not returned now for many months. I am comforted by this knowledge.

Danya,

hang in there girl. You are one of the lucky ones and have already gone a long way toward your ultimate goal. Life can only get better for you. What are your future plans?

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:35 pm My work situation continued to deteriorate Friday. Late last year, my boss acknowledged the excessive demands on my time and apologized. He said he hoped that would get better soon. It has gotten worse, not better. I put in five hours remotely this morning. That's all I can write about this, I'm too upset about it.

...........

Danya,

Mac (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 09, 2009 9:44 am hang in there girl. You are one of the lucky ones and have already gone a long way toward your ultimate goal. Life can only get better for you. What are your future plans?

Hi Mac,

It's good to hear from you and it's always nice to get some encouraging words.

I am hanging in there and more people at the office are recognizing how much I am doing. This doesn't reduce my workload, but it does alleviate some of my stress.

Today, a colleague in another department wrote me a sweet email asking how I am doing at work and in my personal life. He added that he knows I am being 'asked' to do far too much. I am hopeful my work load will start to slacken, to an extent, by mid-July.

When I am feeling particularly stressed out by my job, I take action to makes things better. This is an ongoing process that is starting to pay off.

I just got home from a very relaxing evening spent with an Archive friend.

Playing the pipe organ at church Sunday was also very relaxing. Many people paid me very nice compliments after the service.

You are absolutely correct, Mac. I am one of the lucky ones and I know that. Despite stress from several sources, my life still manages to get better. I'm not quite sure how this is possible, but I am glad for it.

I'll write more about my future plans another time. I need to get to bed.

I just remembered something I wanted to report. Someone at church Sunday said they needed to hold a fund-raiser to help defray my GRS costs. A producer I know offered to do the same thing a month or so ago. I need to follow up on these offers.

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:57 pm Thanks for writing.

Hugs,

Danya

Danya, i know how the work load goes sometimes but consider this to the bosses you get the job done while possibly others might not, in their eyes this makes you indispensable at the moment, if and when more cuts happen you won't be at the top of the list. What many employers don't realize is we who transition in the workplace actually increase our productivity, this may be due to feeling at ease with who we are or working harder to prove ourselves.

You are doing things to alleviate your stress, going out with friends and playing the organ at church, i do activities that relieve stress too, bowling and going out with friends, like you do.

Wow a fund raiser, you really do have many people that think you are a really special person not because you are trans but because you are you.

I totally agree you are well along towards your goal, although we started HRT about the same time i won't go full time till early next year, that's my plan and I'm on schedule.

Paula

paulault (imported) wrote: Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:26 am Danya, i know how the work load goes sometimes but consider this to the bosses you get the job done while possibly others might not, in their eyes this makes you indispensable at the moment, if and when more cuts happen you won't be at the top of the list. What many employers don't realize is we who transition in the workplace actually increase our productivity, this may be due to feeling at ease with who we are or working harder to prove ourselves.

You are doing things to alleviate your stress, going out with friends and playing the organ at church, i do activities that relieve stress too, bowling and going out with friends, like you do.

Wow a fund raiser, you really do have many people that think you are a really special person not because you are trans but because you are you.

I totally agree you are well along towards your goal, although we started HRT about the same time i won't go full time till early next year, that's my plan and I'm on schedule.

Paula

Hi Paula,

It's great to hear from you. I agree that my productivity has gone up.

Unfortunately, though, I may in fact lose my job by the end of next week. This is all very political. A large part of the problem is that all but one of the people who know how very hard I've been working for at least the last 18 months were either laid off or decided to leave on their own. The remaining person, my former boss, knows how I have slaved away at all of this. He was stunned when he heard what went on today.

Even the other department I chiefly collaborate with finally gets how hard I've been working. This was a result of one of the supervisors sitting in on a 5 hour meeting with me and one of our consultants.

This was an eye-opener for him. He now tells me the company expects far too much from me. Today he told me I need to rest. Several other people in the other department tell me I need time off. That would be great but the truth is it won't fly with my own management. The new folks are totally clueless as to my real contributions.

We were given permission last summer to hire a person to help me for this problem project and we interviewed a number of candidates. At that point, we were unable to find anyone with experience in this very new, and different version of this extremely expensive software system. Then we had a hiring freeze so we didn't interview anyone else.

Strangely enough, I am feeling confident of my situation no matter what happens with my job. If I lose my job, I'm sure I'll have difficult moments, but I have been through some very difficult situations before and thrived, in the end.

I also have an advantage now that I did not when I first became me at the office. I have lot's of cool, supportive friends right here on the Archive.

I would not have felt this confidence under the same work situation before I started this transition journey. Losing my job would present quite a challenge but it would also provide an opportunity. And I would be free of what my former boss views as an environment that 'sucks' at a company that has lost its spirit.

A note to anyone I owe photos, letters or anything else: I apologize, but I am just too busy right now to do anything other than make my situation work, whatever the outcome for my job.

Paula, I'm delighted you wrote.

Hugs,

Danya

*Hugs*

I am sorry to hear that you may lose your job. I really hope that you do not, and that things turn out well.

But no matter what happens, you have love and support from me and many of your others friends here at the EA.

I am also confident that no matter what life tosses your way, you have the strength to get through it and come out stronger.

Danya,

I can hear the stress in your voice when we talk. I hope things improve for you at your current job or a better job is waiting for you that will appreciate all your skills and abilities. You know how to reach me 24/7.

Hugs,

Hi Danya!

You know where to reach me over the computer if you need support!

Greetings with fingercrossing

John

plix (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:48 am *Hugs*

I am sorry to hear that you may lose your job. I really hope that you do not, and that things turn out well.

But no matter what happens, you have love and support from me and many of your others friends here at the EA.

I am also confident that no matter what life tosses your way, you have the strength to get through it and come out stronger.

Hi Plix,

I really appreciate your words of support. If I lose my job I will be fine, just as you say. [Although I may have a few rough moments.] The reality is, my work environment is very unhealthy.

I'll write more about the situation when I have time. For now,

tugon (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 16, 2009 3:04 am I've got to do more work from home.

Hugs,

Danya

Danya,

I can hear the stress in your voice when we talk. I hope things improve for you at your current job or a better job is waiting for you that will appreciate all your skills

and abilities. You know how to reach me 24/7.

Hugs,

Hi Tugon,

I appreciate your constant friendshi

John (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 16, 2009 3:09 am p. I will absolutely call you if I need to talk, even just to hear a few friendly words.

Hugs,

Danya

Hi Danya!

You know where to reach me over the computer if you need support!

Greetings with fingercrossing

John

Hi John,

As always, I am glad to hear from you. Thanks for the good wishes and your continuing support.

Hugs,

Danya