Danya (imported) wrote: Sat May 10, 2008 4:47 am I am concerned about what to wear my first day as Danya, in a little over a week. My goal for the first few months is to dress similarly to other women on my floor. Unfortunately, that means no dresses , but slacks and some fairly non-descript blouse or sweater. Yes, by that day it may still be cool enough to wear a sweater.

Truth is, over the last few months I've also been wearing some feminine jewelry, mostly under my shirt. Even though that's been hidden, I've been concerned there too that the jewelry color match or complement that shirt I've worn

I don't remember who said this but some TS people go ubber female in the clothing so I think that this is a great idea. I mean you don't have to model yourself after anyone but getting some guidance by what is the typical outfit sounds pretty good.

Have fun at the TS fair. Sounds like they have the "A" team for speakers if what I read is correct.

- T

I still feel totally blown away by the tremendous words of encouragement, support and empathy I received from many people at work today. The emails and phone calls started coming in when the company-wide email, announcing my upcoming transition, went out late in the afternoon to hundreds of employees in several states.

Some shared their own stories of family members transitioning or the difficulties of male friends getting up the courage to transition. As for me, that may come to them later in life

I'm emotionally exhausted, in a good way, from all of this. I'll spend the rest of the evening relaxing and tomorrow I will attend the Trans Health Fair.

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat May 10, 2008 4:24 pm I still feel totally blown away by the tremendous words of encouragement, support and empathy I received from many people at work today. .......

I'm emotionally exhausted, in a good way, from all of this. I'll spend the rest of the evening relaxing and tomorrow I will attend the Trans Health Fair.

I am glad for you!!

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat May 10, 2008 4:24 pm I still feel totally blown away by the tremendous words of encouragement, support and empathy I received from many people at work today. The emails and phone calls started coming in when the company-wide email, announcing my upcoming transition, went out late in the afternoon to hundreds of employees in several states.

Some shared their own stories of family members transitioning or the difficulties of male friends getting up the courage to transition. As for me, that may come to them later in life

I'm emotionally exhausted, in a good way, from all of this. I'll spend the rest of the evening relaxing and tomorrow I will attend the Trans Health Fair.

Keep up the upside of your new life and good luck!!!

Thanks Mac and slowone2!

I was late for my own transition team meeting yesterday. That morning, I'd felt some anxiety (not too bad, though) and thought it would be a good idea to do some relaxation exercises before leaving for the office. Particularly since I knew my transition announcement would be made later that day.

Normally, I only do these at bed time because they are really effective! Unfortunately, they were too effective Friday morning in that I started to doze off. By the time I snapped out of it, I knew I'd be late for the transition meeting. I called the office to let them know and the meeting was postponed by 15 minutes. I arrived with 5 minutes to spare.

Near the end of the meeting, I brought up again that I'd wear slacks and nice tops to fit in with the way most women dress in my department. I off-handedly mentioned that I really preferred dresses but that could wait. The women on the team immediately said I should feel free to wear a dress the very first day! I was surprised and pleased by this.

At this point in my feminine maturation (let's face it folks, I'm still learning here!), I can't understand why women like to wear slacks. I can get why slacks would be best in cold weather because I've worn nylons out with a dress when it's been very cold and it isn't pleasant. The weather is warmer now, though. Being in a dress is so less confining and I feel free and very female.

It takes longer to get ready when I'm wearing a dress. I don't mind putting in the extra time at all. The result is worth it.

Skirts and blouses would work well for me, too, although I've found to my disappointment that, for now at least, skirts don't work well. Most of them don't have belts and I've got narrow hips. They have a tendency to keep wanting to slip off! This could be embarrassing at the office.

It is possible, then, that I will wear a dress on transition day. I've been complimented by therapists and my electrologist on my taste in feminine attire, including dresses. Most of my dresses are appropriate for the office and I'm very aware of the ones that are not.

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 11, 2008 5:55 pm I can't understand why women like to wear slacks. I can get why slacks would be best in cold weather because I've worn nylons out with a dress when it's been very cold and it isn't pleasant. The weather is warmer now, though. Being in a dress is so less confining and I feel free and very female.

In a way, this may be the very reason some women wear slacks. Traditionally, (at least historically) 'feminine' has been the antithesis of both 'power' and 'business'. So, by donning more male garb perhaps women have sought to appear more masculine in the business environment so as to perceive themselves as more equal with the male counterparts who have historically held the reins of power in the workplace.

I'm not attempting to justify either side, just explain why pantsuits seem to dominate when it comes to 'power' suits in the business world.

Congrats on how things are going, by the way.

BossTamsin (imported) wrote: Sun May 11, 2008 11:50 pm In a way, this may be the very reason some women wear slacks. Traditionally, (at least historically) 'feminine' has been the antithesis of both 'power' and 'business'. So, by donning more male garb perhaps women have sought to appear more masculine in the business environment so as to perceive themselves as more equal with the male counterparts who have historically held the reins of power in the workplace.

I'm not attempting to justify either side, just explain why pantsuits seem to dominate when it comes to 'power' suits in the business world.

Congrats on how things are going, by the way.

Thanks for the congrats, IEunuch!

I suspect you are correct on why women wear pants suits and similar type masculine garb at work. The truth is, women are, on average, still paid less than men for the same jobs. I don't believe that's the case at my company. At least there are many examples of highly successful,visible women up through senior management.

I appreciate your observation. I'd expect, and what I read confirms this, that as the months go by coworkers will start to perceive and treat me differently - as more truly female. This is a good thing but I want to minimize any accompanying loss of influence. Not that I'm power-hungry. That's never been a big motivator for me. I do, however, want to continue to see my salary increase!

This gives me more to think about before the big day arrives. Thanks for your very pertinent input.

I worked for a woman who was very slacks type. I think she did this to make the office kind of gender neutral. It was easy to not think of her in a sexual way until she did a review with the offices horniest guy her blouse unbuttoned... and a nipple showing

Which I'm quite sure was an accident because she nearly had a stroke when it was pointed out...

A woman friend from work just informed me that a good friend of hers is a radio producer (I'm not sure what station she works for or if she works independly) who wants to do a documentary on me, of all people! Or more exactly, my life or transition or whatever.

I responded that I'd speak with the producer but cannot guarantee that I'm interested at this point. Perhaps a year or two down the road might be more appropriate, although it sounds like this producer may want to follow my transition experience. I will certainly have lots of questions before giving any serious thought to this. Like does this woman have any clue at all as to what being transgender is all about. If not, can she be educated and do I have the time to do that Do I even want strangers to know some of the details of my life is another biggie. There are other important things to consider, too, like who is the intended audience and what other experience with documentaries does she have. And btw, let me hear some examples of your earlier work!