EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Thu May 07, 2009 1:56 pm Hi Danya,

You can always call me, no matter what time of the day or night. Everyone needs someone they can talk to and I'm always and will always be there for you my "sister."

We have traveled a path that most transgendered people can only dream of and in many ways we have completed this journey or have come close to it.

I'll call you tonight if I don't hear from you first. I'm concerned, but don't worry, we'll both get through this together.

Hi Erica Ann,

Your friendship is very important to me and I, too, feel that we share many things on this path. I miss both you and Ellen. While I may be able to find someone like 'Erica Ann' here, there will never be anyone who can replace your part in my life and heart.

I will call you this evening. Rest assured, though, that I am doing very well again. I'll post more ab

mrt (imported) wrote: Thu May 07, 2009 3:53 pm out what's been going on by the weekend.

Hugs,

Danya

"Mrs T" the dog cat fish and kids and I are sending the love so don't get down.

If you need some cheering up

just buzz me on the phone. Morse code is optional...

Hey MrT,

I know you are always there to listen, mei amicus. I value your friendship and both you and MrsT have been very kind to me and supportive. I am fortunate to have met you. You've been helpful since I started down this path.

Hugs,

Danya

Danya,

I am always glad to hear success stories like yours.

Danya,

Mac (imported) wrote: Sun May 10, 2009 6:30 pm I am always glad to hear success stories like yours.

Hi Mac,

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:50 am It's always good to hear from you.

If I look at things objectively, I know you are right. Sometimes my intensified emotions get in the way of logical thinking.

Jesus correctly pointed out that I live with myself constantly (I don't know who else would have me ). Because of that, it's more difficult for me to notice how profound the changes in me have been. Others notice, though.

Erica Ann was a big help to me here, too. Things have gone well for me and I am fortunate.

Tugon also had some very kind words for me earlier this evening. In just a few sentences, he said something very important.

I hope you are well, Mac.

Hugs,

Danya

The weekend was difficult for me. Today, I'm totally back to my regular (you may prefer to think of this as 'irregular' ), happy self.

I had a migraine the entire weekend. I finally had to resort to my prescription narcotic. I've had few migraines since I transitioned but this one was severe. The percodan did not make a dent in the pain on the first dose.

Later in the day I took more and that finally knocked out the pain - until Sunday morning.

Anyway, I hate taking percodan. It always leaves me feeling down the day I take it and the next. This influenced my thoughts and feelings, negatively of course.

I don't have time to go into details. The promised help for my work project has mostly evaporated, so I'm working from home this evening.

One piece of very cool news today. I mentioned the money needed for GRS to someone I know. He's the executive producer of a show. He volunteered to do a fund raiser for my surgery! He can probably bring in about $3,000. While that's far short of what I need, it's still a major contribution. More important was that I felt honored and cared for by this friend.

There is some other promising news on the horizon. Unfortunately, I cannot discuss it tonight. I've got to get back to work.

Good luck on what your are working on

And it is good news that your feeling better or are back to your self

Fantastic news on the show stuff. Anything I can do to help please ask. Sorry to hear about the Percodan. I can't remember what I used after surgery perceaset? Spelzed? Anyway it was a race to being knocked out or throwing up. Or was it Vicodine? Who knows... All I can say is opiates was an option for dealing with Orchialgia and I said no thank you!!!!

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue May 12, 2009 6:05 pm The weekend was difficult for me. Today, I'm totally back to my regular (you may prefer to think of this as 'irregular' ), happy self.

I had a migraine the entire weekend. I finally had to resort to my prescription narcotic. I've had few migraines since I transitioned but this one was severe. The percodan did not make a dent in the pain on the first dose.

Later in the day I took more and that finally knocked out the pain - until Sunday morning.

Anyway, I hate taking percodan. It always leaves me feeling down the day I take it and the next. This influenced my thought and feelings, negatively of course.

I don't have time to go into details. The promised help for my work project has mostly evaporated, so I'm working from home this evening.

One piece of very cool news today. I mentioned the money needed for GRS to someone I know. He's the executive producer of a show. He volunteered to do a fund raiser for my surgery! He can probably bring in about $3,000. While that's far short of what I need, it's still a major contribution. More important was that I felt honored and cared for by this friend.

There is some other promising news on the horizon. Unfortunately, I cannot discuss it tonight. I've got to get back to work.

kennath7 (imported) wrote: Tue May 12, 2009 6:13 pm Good luck on what your are working on

And it is good news that your feeling better or are back to your self

Hi Kennath7,

You are always so thoughtful and caring. I always appreciate your posts.

mrt (imported) wrote: Tue May 12, 2009 6:45 pm Thanks once again for your kind words.

Hugs,

Danya

Fantastic news on the show stuff. Anything I can do to help please ask. Sorry to hear about the Percodan. I can't remember what I used after surgery perceaset? Spelzed? Anyway it was a race to being knocked out or throwing up. Or was it Vicodine? Who knows... All I can say is opiates was an option

for dealing with Orchialgia and I said no thank you!!!!

Hi MrT,

This friend does not always come through on what he says he will do. I know his intentions are good and I am hopeful that he will come do the fund-raiser. He is very busy, so I do not expect anything to happen immediately.

I use narcotics only as a last resort for migraine pain. Like you, I prefer to avoid them entirely.

Hugs,

Danya

Today was a mix of up and down times for me, emotionally.

I worked out my own solution to reduce my excessive workload. It was logical and doable. My boss agreed and the result is at least half what had been on my plate to complete by the end of May has been removed. Until today, I had planned to work this weekend and all of Memorial Day weekend, and some evenings. I won't have to do that now.

I sent my proposal to my boss in an email with the subject "I'm burned out, here's the cure." He is my new manager and he genuinely solicits feedback on how to make things easier and less stressful. He also accepts criticism of the way he handles thing with an open mind. He wants people to give him their honest opinions. All managers should be like this.

Then there was an incident which showed that a coworker in my own group is transphobic. This is the same woman who, at an out-of-town conference last August greeted me with 'Hi Freak' in front of other people, including one of her former coworkers. She was not smiling when she said this. Anyway, I thought that incident was a fluke and in fact everything seemed fine the next day. I was wrong and the fact is I should have reported her comment to Human Resources immediately. At least one person on the Archive recommended exactly that. I hate to make trouble for people, though, and I generally assume everyone intends to treat me well even when there is evidence to the contrary.

HR told me when I transitioned at the office that I should report such incidents. They were quite insistent on this.

I cannot go into the details of what happened today here. I will say that I felt deeply hurt and confused. For a time late this afternoon and early evening, I felt that I was not strong enough to continue down this path. I have a few bad times now and then. But until today I never felt for more than a few seconds any doubt that I had the strength to continue. This is because I felt I was being marginalized for who I am. The result of what this woman did left me feeling like I needed to move to the back of the bus.

For a time early this evening, I was hoping someone, anyone, would call because I felt lost, helpless and alone. Something like a little girl, the girl I am at times. At the same time, though, I did not want to seem needy and call anyone. I do not want to burden anyone else. I want to be a grown-up woman.

I have recovered, completely. As I've noted before, I'm genuinely surprised how rapidly I recover these days.

Now my attitude is 'to Hell with her.' I am not handing her the power to control how I feel.

My gender therapist agreed that, while there was nothing overtly transphobic about what this woman did, she is in fact transphobic.

I treat people well and I rather naively expect they will do the same to me. My company's management remains very supportive and that support was reiterated today.

Well like the obscure Beatles song you know my name now look up the number!

Its unfortunate but there are mean and evil people around that take pleasure in making others miserable. Your exactly right you don't have to give them ANY power to do that. Personally I think revenge is always a good plan. Humm... lets see... Maybe put her on a few mailing lists. Get her some sample subscriptions to some (what kind?) magazines to let her know what its like to be different and see how open minded her little group of Nazi friends are.

Or just get her name and number and tell insurance people that she really wants some!

Of course fighting fire with fire just brings you down to her level. Maybe HR can suggest a course in "understanding" followed by a warning and then a trip to the unemployment line.

- MrT

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat May 16, 2009 9:04 pm Today was a mix of up and down times for me, emotionally.

Then there was an incident which showed that a coworker in my own group is transphobic. This is the same woman who, at an out-of-town conference last August greeted me with 'Hi Freak' in front of other people, including one of her former coworkers. She was not smiling when she said this. Anyway, I thought that incident was a fluke and in fact everything seemed fine the next day. I was wrong and the fact is I should have reported her comment to Human Resources immediately. At least one person on the Archive recommended exactly that. I hate to make trouble for people, though, and I generally assume everyone intends to treat me well even when there is evidence to the contrary.

HR told me when I transitioned at the office that I should report such incidents. They were quite insistent on this.

I cannot go into the details of what happened today here. I will say that I felt deeply hurt and confused. For a time late this afternoon and early evening, I felt that I was not strong enough to continue down this path. I have a few bad times now and then. But until today I never felt for more than a few seconds any doubt that I had the strength to continue. This is because I felt I was being marginalized for who I am. The result of what this woman did left me feeling like I needed to move to the back of the bus.

For a time early this evening, I was hoping someone, anyone, would call because I felt lost, helpless and alone. Something like a little girl, the girl I am at times. At the same time, though, I did not want to seem needy and call anyone. I do not want to burden anyone else. I want to be a grown-up woman.

I have recovered, completely. As I've noted before, I'm genuinely surprised how rapidly I recover these days.

Now my attitude is 'to Hell with her.' I am not handing her the power to control how I feel.

My gender therapist agreed that, while there was nothing overtly transphobic about what this woman did, she is in fact transphobic.

I treat people well and I rather naively expect they will do the same to me. My company's management remains very supportive and that support was reiterated today.

Hi Dayna,

There is one thing that this plant will never run short of and that is ignorance!

As we have discussed before, you cannot allow this person's problem to become yours and to allow her to affect your life or well being.

Some people prefer to live their lives in ignorance and refuse to accept those things that they cannot understand.

You are and have demonstrated that you are a strong woman. Please do not allow yourself or ever feel like a second class person. In many ways you are a stronger person than myself. In that situation, I would have felt an over welling desire to walk up to her and call her out to her face as the ignorant bitch that she is, but that's just me. It must be the Chicago Italian in me.

Please, never feel that you are a burden to me. Call me my sister when you are down. I will always and forever be here for you.