Tomorrow I will be a ten year old eunuch. It was on 12/06/97 that I became my true self. Life is so much better not perfect of course but better than I could have imagined. Just opening the thread to post I was reminded of all the wonderful support from this wonderful community. Compared to ten years ago I am like the phoenix rising from the ashes. Yes Uncle Flo I am rebuilding myself and working to be a better person. I now have some good role models.

I will also be celebrating ten years of not being physically and sexually assaulted. Celebrating five years of no phone harrasment and creating a peaceful life for myself. Knowing that I have grown and learned to like myself. Now I know there was never any reason I deserved what was happening. I will be celebrating the end of negative thoughts and emotions which helped keep me trapped.

Now is my time to live. I have many choices ahead for my future. It is rather exciting and a little frightening. I am glad I have made many friends here who will share their knowledge and advice. Or be there to say tugon what the hell were you thinking.

My 10 year old eunuchs guard the automatic weapons and plutonium that I keep in the basement. They have a bad habit of smoking weed and drinking wine, though...

First I'm reading tugon's post on how he has grown, his ten year anniversary, freedom from some fears and so on. And I'm thinking "How wonderful, and good for him. He deserves happiness". Then I scoll down to Paolo's response with the 10-year old eunuchs guarding his weapons and I'm absolutely cracking up! Tugon, you are sweet and I wish you much happiness. Paolo, you continue to amaze me with your endless store of humor. Please be sure those 10-year old eunuchs keep a close eye on that plutonium, I'll sleep better. It's not only highly radioactive but also one of the most poisonous substances around. I always say you can trust eunuchs to guard these things. Really!

-Todd

Glad you liked the joke.

Actually, that's one of the lines I use for the wiretappers.

I think it worked, because the funny noises on the phone have since vanished.

I think it might have been the dildo shopping story that pushed them over the edge.

Your avatar is in place, too.

I had another visit with my doctor. Several visits ago I screwed up my courage to tell him I was a eunuch. During the visit before last he inadvertently triggered some of my issues. He was very insistent about some things I would do. He also mentioned that since I had signed a compliance contract he could dismiss me as a patient. Between feeling like I was losing control over what was being done to my body and the abandonment threat I became emotional. It was at this point that I felt he needed to be aware of my issues not just for our relationship but for my healthcare. This last visit I shared what I had experienced in life.

What was so surprising for me was the amount of shame I struggled with to relate my story. Was it male pride that made it tough for me to admit that I had been abused? Was it that I was having to admit it to a male? He thought I was going to cry and it was not tears I was experiencing. I felt short of breath and had to force the words out. I could have easily run from his office. He was so much more supportive than I thought he might be. He was very genuine in his concern.

I have shared my past here on the EA and with a few close friends. There are times I wished I had kept it private but I understand how helpful care and support has been. I think I worry that people such as my doctor might think of me only as a victim and not the strong survivor I have become. I would rather people know me for who I am today instead of what I had endured in the past. I am too strong for history to repeat itself.

Tugon,

You've been through a hell of a lot in your life that many others wouldn't have been able to survive, let alone recover so well from and even thrive.

I relate to your wanting people to know you for who you are today and I think you're doing remarkably well at that.

My best to you,

Todd

tugon (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:29 am I had another visit with my doctor. Several visits ago I screwed up my courage to tell him I was a eunuch. During the visit before last he inadvertently triggered some of my issues. He was very insistent about some things I would do. He also mentioned that since I had signed a compliance contract he could dismiss me as a patient. Between feeling like I was losing control over what was being done to my body and the abandonment threat I became emotional. It was at this point that I felt he needed to be aware of my issues not just for our relationship but for my healthcare. This last visit I shared what I had experienced in life.

What was so surprising for me was the amount of shame I struggled with to relate my story. Was it male pride that made it tough for me to admit that I had been abused? Was it that I was having to admit it to a male? He thought I was going to cry and it was not tears I was experiencing. I felt short of breath and had to force the words out. I could have easily run from his office. He was so much more supportive than I thought he might be. He was very genuine in his concern.

What is a Compliance Contract? Female MDs are out there and very good in my experience if that becomes an issue.

Good luck and hang in there!

A Compliance Contract? Ive only heard of that in Pain Management to prevent diversion. I have never ever heard of a doctor using one for any other purpose, even SRS and TRT treatments. If a doctor is forcing me to do things im uncomfortable with i wouldn't tolerate it, I would be gone as soon as my fingers can dial up a new doctor. If one brought up such a contract to try to force me to accept tests or treatments I didn't feel in my best interest, I would have confirmation he doesnt respect me and my concerns with my health-care and also be gone. The only place i have seen a compliance contract is with pain management doctors who might want a random drug test to make sure your taking the drugs your being prescribed and not diverting them, no where in all the years of interacting with doctors and having over half a dozen of them in my family have i seen it or the threat of it used in any other case. The fact he showed support after you told him more of your history is good, but the fact you had to when it was really not much his biz concerns me.

I have history that none of my doctors have any business knowing about but my psychologist, and only because Im working though them with her. My urologist knows some basic info only because she is tasked with repairing the physical part of the past traumas.

A #1 rule i was taught in my entry level medical classes is that a patient should never be made to feel they are loosing control of their bodies and/or treatment, its a basic human dignity and must be respected. Of course, I know very few doctors tend to recall that lesson.. Or perhaps its unique to the school i was in, something's seem that way anyways.

Im sorry if it seems im overreacting but a doctor using such leverage for anything short of c2 drugs is unacceptable in my code of ethics I was taught.

I am in full agreement with Don. I used to use compliance contracts ages ago with psychological patients. Aside from noted exceptions in Don's post, they have utterly NO legitimate use in the world of medicine, save for patients with behavioral issues (and working in consort with a therapist or psychologist). Any MD who would attempt to make imposition of such contracts needs to be reported to his state examiner's board for investigation as incompetent and disrespectful of patients. Period.

The very notion is infuriatingly insulting.

thanks Kristoff.. Isnt medical ethics 101 still required? Seems to be forgoten nowdays..