Congrats for your testing and certainly for your account.

I had two tests before. I like how you describe peeing: Not holding a penis just like the penis is another finger or so. I had just the same feeling.

I wonder how your recovery will be. Mine was very, very, very slow ! Fortunately afterwards I still had two kids.

Take care. Vesal.

vesal_mas (imported) wrote: Sat Jul 13, 2019 5:11 am I wonder how your recovery will be. Mine was very, very, very slow ! Fortunately afterwards I still had two kids.

Take care. Vesal.

I wonder for how long you were on chem castration? like 3 months or more? It could be that I still need my balls for another kid.

T +61

I have been on 50mg per day for about 12 days now, Perhaps I reduced the level prematurely, as today I felt little bit horny. But only very little. Tried to get hard. After a 5 minutes I got semi hardness. It seems like my penis is getting even less hard than month ago. But then again, I had to do other stuff and forgot all the hornyness. I think I will return to 100mg per day regime, as I fear my T is returning.

My masturbation rate has dropped from twice a day to twice a month. Funny, isn't it? It is like I am a boy again. I don't feel that horrible urge and buzz anymore.

It is so interesting that I do not have these eunuch effects I experienced during my first trial. It is not a question of androcur not working, as my T level - 17ng/ml are castrate levels. No doubt.

Even on the same person, the same drug can give different results. First time I certainly felt that I became much more emotional. Even that it was difficult to watch some movies without crying. Like a little boy. But now... Only very little more emotional I am. I can watch emotional movies without too many emotions.

Also I don't feel incomplete anymore. At the beginning of second trial I started to get that feeling while interacting with other men, but now it is gone. I know that they are fertile and they are stronger than me, but it doesn't matter anymore. It is not the point. I am not very submissive person so, somehow I have gotten over it.

One more difference is that I don't feel like I lack motivation to complete stuff. It takes me longer for make up my mind before I start to do anything. During my first trial I forced myself to get stuff done. Now, after I have made up my mind, I can do stuff and even enjoy the process. If constant tiredness is put aside.

My sleep has improved. May be it is because I am very exhausted by the end of the day.

Eunuchs in love

I have seen many people asking if Eunuchs can fall in love. In my case I can tell, yes they can! There is no big sexual tension or desire. I don't know even how that part would work out, if one is eunuch and other is not. But eunuchs can fall in love too. As sexual part is missing, it feels little different. And I think it is easier for an eunuch to ignore that feeling if it is inappropriate, as there is no blinding sexual fantasies involved. Or almost none. I don't have much motivation to think about sexual stuff.

Eunuchs are lazy

Many old manuscripts describe Eunuchs as lazy people. I think they are not. They just lack energy to get stuff done. It is difficult for them.

If I can get my energies back it would be fantastic to be an eunuch! It is so annoying, after my morning coffee energizing effect has vanished, I feel tired and sleepy. Sometimes a power nap helps, put this condition generally renders me incapable to do any work. But yea, coffee helps a lot.

@ Ericboy:

I had two test. The first was one month.

After that month I was completely clear in the head, very efficacious. No spontaneous erections, not wanting to masturbate.

At that time I did like electromastrubation a lot. After that month it was like stimulating my finger. It did not work anymore. After lots of manual attention some clear liquid oozed out, nothing more. Several days had to pass before even wanting to try that again.

It took me litterally almost a complete year to recover !! If someone would have asked me if I wanted to be an eunuch I would certainly have answerd positively.

2 or 3 years later I made a second test. I did not manage to take androcur more than 2, maybe 3 weeks. I did not feel well at all. I quit. Again several months had to pass before I completely recovered. Fortunately I met a lovely woman, now my wife. I fathered 2 children. Unfortunately we lost one. But we are happy, happy as a complete man, woman and lovely child.

vesal_mas (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 16, 2019 11:10 pm @ Ericboy:

I had two test. The first was one month.

After that month I was completely clear in the head, very efficacious. No spontaneous erections, not wanting to masturbate.

At that time I did like electromastrubation a lot. After that month it was like stimulating my finger. It did not work anymore. After lots of manual attention some clear liquid oozed out, nothing more. Several days had to pass before even wanting to try that again.

It took me litterally almost a complete year to recover !! If someone would have asked me if I wanted to be an eunuch I would certainly have answerd positively.

2 or 3 years later I made a second test. I did not manage to take androcur more than 2, maybe 3 weeks. I did not feel well at all. I quit. Again several months had to pass before I completely recovered. Fortunately I met a lovely woman, now my wife. I fathered 2 children. Unfortunately we lost one. But we are happy, happy as a complete man, woman and lovely child.

Good to hear about having children afterwards. During my first trial, I had Androcur only for 3 weeks if I am correct. Or even less. But I recovered quite fast. In first 2 or 3 weeks after stopping my T-levels increased to teenage levels, before dropping to normal.

This time it will take much longer time to recover I guess.

T +72

Is it really 72 days already? I've been an eunuch for 2 months... Kind of cool, but all that excitement about being an eunuch left me along with T. I have reached a plateau, no big changes or surprises. I am just me.

So, what have I noticed during these last 10 days? Eunuchs fall in love differently than intact men. Just saw an intact man who has fallen in love. He looks crazy to me and he acts stupid. It is so obvious he is in, it feels embarrassing. to me at least. I notice so much T and E driven action around me. It seems useless. But as we are animals too, it is coded into us.

It feels kind of liberating. I notice people around me, who send me sexual signs or try to please me for sexual reasons. I notice them and their behaviour, but I do not respond. Being sexually unresponsive feels weird.

I think I am getting used to my slowness, weakness. I really feel like a very old man, as I can not run anymore. Or do stuff fast. It takes me time to get things done. Much more time. Getting tired in the middle of the day is most annoying thing.

I masturbated again on sunday. It seems my semen will disappear completely very soon. only two small and very watery drops came out. But still, I can get hard in 3 minutes and ejaculate in following 10-15 minutes. No big changes there. Only I can do that no often than once a week. Every day seems too much, not speaking of twice or trice a day.

erikboy (imported) wrote: Thu Jul 25, 2019 2:47 pm T +72

Is it really 72 days already? I've been an eunuch for 2 months... Kind of cool, but all that excitement about being an eunuch left me along with T. I have reached a plateau, no big changes or surprises. I am just me.

So, what have I noticed during these last 10 days? Eunuchs fall in love differently than intact men.

It feels kind of liberating. I notice people around me, who send me sexual signs.

I really feel like a very old man,.

You need to sexually express yourself! You are in control! HOW EXCITING! You are different, not a man but not a woman either. Find dress that lets you move your body in ways that are comfortable to YOU and express your desires and what you are willing to do sexually! Basketball shorts to the knee with a flair are awesome! Almost like a dress or skirt! I LOVE TO RIDE MY SKATEBOARD AND HIKE THEM UP like a cheep whore! WOMEN will figire you out quick, so they are no problem, plus tbey are way more emotionally involved and less visual. Your like a child, impotent....women will find a use for you if you chat them up. Men on the other hand....you'll have to take the hit, so get used to it! They are "normal" and your the freak....so apologize and be nice and accomadating...being super submissive and calling them "sir" helps. Also if you cast a wide net, you'd better be able to deal with any ramifications....remeber YOU ARE IN THE WRONG, not them. Develope a super masciline way to deflect if you get to much attention...DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT agree to or adopt a completely passive feminine public persona...save that shit for intimacy and dont waste it on the world.

chilli

chilliwilli (imported) wrote: Thu Jul 25, 2019 9:48 pm You need to sexually express yourself! You are in control! HOW EXCITING! You are different, not a man but not a woman either. Find dress that lets you move your body in ways that are comfortable to YOU and express your desires and what you are willing to do sexually! Basketball shorts to the knee with a flair are awesome! Almost like a dress or skirt! I LOVE TO RIDE MY SKATEBOARD AND HIKE THEM UP like a cheep whore! WOMEN will figire you out quick, so they are no problem, plus tbey are way more emotionally involved and less visual. Your like a child, impotent....women will find a use for you if you chat them up. Men on the other hand....you'll have to take the hit, so get used to it! They are "normal" and your the freak....so apologize and be nice and accomadating...being super submissive and calling them "sir" helps. Also if you cast a wide net, you'd better be able to deal with any ramifications....remeber YOU ARE IN THE WRONG, not them. Develope a super masciline way to deflect if you get to much attention...DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT agree to or adopt a completely passive feminine public persona...save that shit for intimacy and dont waste it on the world.

chilli

Since puberty excessive sex drive and weird sexual fantasies have frustrated me. I always felt that all that sexdrive and fantasies are not a part of my personality. Which is not a case for most of the people around me. They feel that their sexual desire and preferences are integral part of their personality. I guess that is the main reason why I don't feel no depression at all. My personality is not altered. Instead, I am cured from mental disease like condition. With the cost of many unwanted physical downsides. But in the mornings, when I've had plenty of rest and just had my coffee, I feel great as an eunuch.

I still have very little libido. May be 5% or so. This month I have masturbated 3 times I guess. Today morning I woke up with less than semihard penis.. Last time that happened... Was it a month ago? That does not feel excessive anymore. People I felt strong sexual attraction before, that could make me crazy, who made me very difficult to behave normal, provide just an esthetical pleasure. And that is a relief.

I feel like I am still in the process of conversion. I haven't thought much about being in a sexual relationship as an eunuch yet. I haven't even thought much about becoming a surgical eunuch yet. I am enjoying being myself as much as I can despite tiredness and feeling very old could destroy that joy. But then again, that 5% libido that remained seem to give more joy than 100% I had, that felt more like a dangerous nuisance.

Oh, and I am not submissive person at all. I am rather that cat who walks on his own.

erikboy (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:01 am I feel great as an eunuch.

I still have very little libido. May be 5% or so. But then again, that 5% libido that remained seem to give more joy than 100% I had, that felt more like a dangerous nuisance.

Oh, and I am not submissive person at all. I am rather that cat who walks on his own.

Not to be an asshole, but yeah if 5% sex drive expressed as a neutered cat is not realy gonna attract anybody but maybe crazy cat people and god only knows what mental health needs they have. I have seen the furries, I don't get it, maybe your a furry?

Yeah...the only blackcat going up my ass might be some BBC, but I do rather prefer a blue pill gentlemen type...you can keep the cracker btw

One eyed

chilli

T +74

I recently I have noticed that hotflashes happen less frequently and they are milder. I think last time I woke up all soaked and wet was like a week ago. Hot flashes during a day time have disappeared too. It means that endocrine system that generates Gonadotropine pulses is about to shut down. I don't know what it means. Am I becoming a permanent eunuch? Or is this process reversible?

It is difficult to find any studies about chemical castration reversibility. Not that I am worried about it too much as I have accepted the possibility.

It is funny that I feel relatively horny right now. Last time I felt that horny was long ago, may be at the beginning of my journey, in May.

I still don't know if I want my balls to be removed surgically or not. this question leaves me kind of indifferent. That's strange. I could live without T. That I know now. Logically it means I can live without balls too.

One more thing I noticed, it is probably low T that has relieved me from some skin problems. First - Acne. It was mild, but it is better if gone. Thats good. Then psoriasis like condition vanished too. Without any medical intervention. I've had it for 10 years. Also there was a painful spot on my skin that looked like a small tumor. Doc told me that it is a normal to have such tumors, and that can be cut off. Only it has vanished now. Completely. Perhaps it was some weird type of acne, not a tumor.

I will test my T-levels and PSA levels at the end of my trial. Perhaps sometime in August or September. It is so pleasant that During the first month my PSA has dropped 5 times. And peeing has become much easier than before. Castration obviously helps with starting prostate problems.

Damn I feel horny It seems like masturbation rate once a week is satisfactory for me. I remember that since age 8 up until puberty at 13,5 I masturbated once a week. Sometimes less. Like now. And as a boy I felt horny too, thats why I masturbated after all. It means that brain is still the main sex organ