another chem-castration trial

[loveableleopardy (imported)]

I think it is great Erikboy that you are sharing all of this with us, and that you are being very open minded with your experimentation. As we all know there is no set rule for happiness, but the important thing for each and every one of us is that we don't give up on the happiness goal.

[erikboy (imported)]

Damn, I am more aggressive! I feel that. I get angry so easy and it is so difficult to control it. To the point that I fear that I could do something stupid. But now I know that at least and I'll be more careful.

Also heavy dandruff appeared that was non existing few weeks ago. Huh!

My dear friends, I would like to thank you for positive feedback, it makes me feel good and useful.

[erikboy (imported)]

Interesting study about aggression and testosterone levels relation.

http://www.policyscience.net/ws/olweus.pdf

[twebber123 (imported)]

Thanks for posting a link to that study, I can relate to a lot in there. I am terribly impatient, aggressive and irritable. I need to get on my trial NOW!

Posting your experiences is much appreciated.

[erikboy (imported)]

It seems like my T levels have risen higher than normal. My face is oily and there are signs of acne. In my age!

Also I keep masturbating without having much satisfaction. Yesturday I did it at least 4 times. I am complaining. It is too much for me. It truly distracts me from other jobs I want to get done. And I have grown too impatient. When I see I can't get one or other thing done immediately I drop it. There is quiet restlessness in me.

Thats not fun anymore.

[cogman (imported)]

Yes this was my experience also endochrine system overshoots, it will compensate and go the other way, it takes ages to flaten out.

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

Thank you very much for posting all of these updates. It's always good to see some actual real-life data to help the unsure among us sort out the truth from the fiction, and truly be able to decide whether such a thing might be right for us or not.

[erikboy (imported)]

Today I feel less filled with T. May be T levels have lowered. Earlier this week I felt quite teenage. My PA piercing seemed extra cool again. When I went to pee and looked at my piercing little longer than usual my penis got hard without any touch. Like it used to be long time ago. At the same time I feel physically in one piece again. So lively, energetic. I jump and run again. That part I like a lot.

But I promised to write short conclusion. Here is part 1.

The most important thing - Libido or sex drive.

For first 3 days there seemed to be no change. but then gradually it started to fade gradually. With every passing day I noticed small differences. After 3 weeks it hit the bottom. I didn't think about sexual matters anymore. It took me will power to post my progress here. I discontinued visiting usual websites I usually do in order to satisfy my sexual needs. There is sexual impulse generator in me that generates sexual thoughts. That ceased to function. And basically I didn't notice that until I was thinking about changes in me. Right now it is hard to describe things I felt then. I felt normal.

Masturbation frequency that is closely related to libido started to change on day 3. From 3 times a day, it dropped to once or less times a day in 2 weeks. And after that I reached bottom. one week without masturbation went almost unnoticed, which otherwise would have required enormous amount of willpower. during that week I tried to masturbate once, but gave up after 30 minutes. I couldn't reach an orgasm. And I felt much desire to reach it either.

Eunuch calm

I did notice that phenomena during the second week. And again, it is very hard to describe that right now, as the feeling is gone. It felt different. I didn't expect it feel this way. That feeling was not continuous. It was not only the "peace of mind" There was something else in there. I remember that I described myself feeling liberated. And I think I was more aware of myself. And there was some kind of "silence" and "no hurry" thus thoughts were standing more clear. I couldn't explain it any better. May be others who have experienced something similar can add their comments.

Motivation and lack of motivation

It is somehow linked to eunuch calm. As I felt slow, no hurry. I didn't feel natural desire to complete things, I felt no rush, and no restlessness in getting things done. Also I felt "disconnected" from the world and littlebit disorganised. To get things done I had to be more rational and think more how things have to be done. Put small things in order instead of rushing to complete first thing I noticed in the row.

So, for me it wasn't total lack of motivation. It was rather redefining motivation. I know I was slow. I felt it every minute.

Physical weakness

Loss of strenght, stamina. That was the most annoying part for me. At times I felt so weak that I felt I am going to fall apart. Doing simple jobs requiring little physical strenght made my muscles ache. That weakness started after 4 days using Androcur and got worse every day. Most prominent changes happened on second week. Physical weakness and slowness caused by eunuch calm brain activity most certainly made me walk different. My movements became noticeably slower and rounded. The opposite would be teenagers fast and jerky movements. If you see a preteen boy and a teenage boy together you could see noticeable difference in their movements. Thats what I meant.

I use to be quite energetic. I tend to run if I wish to get things done faster, on staircases I step over more than one stair. All that disappeared. And I had to think at least twice before I moved my ass.

It is interesting, that returning T first signs were feeling stronger again, not returning libido. Libido was last one I noticed returning.

Sleep

Sleeplessness set in on second week. It was so hard to fall asleep. The sleep was shallow. Despite of feeling tired I couldn't get sleep. One night I spent almost the whole night awake lieing on the bed. This has reversed again. I can fall asleep in a short time when tired. Sleep is deep again. I can take naps again during day time which wasn't possible with low T.

Joint pain

There was undefined joint pain that developed already on the first week. I thought it was not related to my low T. But by now this pain has disappeared. It seem to be common and related to low T. It wasn't present all times. Easy to ignore.

Erections

Erections started to get softer from day 3. First it was almost unnoticeable. Morning erections became weaker and after 2 weeks there was no morning erections like it was switched off. That was so strange to wake up without hard on. Amusing.

And they returned the same way. Suddenly they were back and didn't go away getting harder every morning.

I was able to produce an erection all the time during trial whenever I wanted. It took longer to get it up with every week. and it didn't get so rockhard anymore. No matter how hard I tried it just remained half hard, or eunuch hard Like I've seen it on other eunuchs.

orgasms

I didn't notice much change how orgasms felt. Maybe less intense. But it took certainly much more time to reach orgasm. Also there wasn't much desire to reach orgasm. That desire faded gradually. During week 4 I think, I was not able to reach orgasm anymore. I still was able to get hard. Well eunuch hard, but no orgasm. What was strangest, I didn't miss it either.

Osteoporosis and fat redistribution

It was too short trial to notice any. Actually I started to eat less. Maybe it was because of slower metabolism.

Hot flashes

I didn't have any crazy hotflashes. They were so mild for me that I was unsure they were actually hot flashes. But now that I don't have them anymore, I am sure they were hot flashes. They were noticeable though. I was thinking that they were related to drinking coffee or tea or related to hot weather. But there was no getting red faces and excessive sweating. Only little sweating. They started almost immediately. On day 2 or 3 I think. But there were 2 severe cold strikes. First one was on a second week. I woke up at night out of feeling so cold that I shivered uncontrollably.

So, hot flashes weren't too bad for me. Actually amusing. Reminding me that I am an eunuch.

Allright. Enough for today.

[vesal_mas (imported)]

Tx a lot for this extensive report !!

It matches very close to my experiences with androcur, only I had much, much longer recovery time. It took litterally months ..

Take care !

Vesal.

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

After reading this, I'm genuinely starting to wonder just how low my T levels are naturally... because there's a lot of things you describe that I tend to feel naturally a lot. And especially the sex-drive thing. I very regularly go full weeks without doing or even caring about anything sexual, and don't even really notice it, and it usually takes me about 2 weeks before I have to start using willpower. That feeling of having no hurry, check. Not really feeling motivated a lot of the time, check. Things shrinking "down there," check. Hmm... I wonder. I really do wonder. And I'm only 26, so it's not like it's aging or anything.