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fhunter wrote: Tue Jul 20, 2010 12:36 pm . I do not know if I'll be content with the transition to the eunuch status. And I think that I can not be passable as a female, may be I am wrong...

Assuming your avatar picture is you, you look quite a bit like the new trans model for Givenchy'. http://www.salon.com/life/gender/?story ... rans_model

When Givenchy's head designer cast his personal assistant, Lea T., in a print ad for the brand, it sparked a frenzy of interest. Calls for interviews and modeling gigs began pouring in. Now, French Vogue, the hipper sister of American Vogue, is running a profile of the Brazilian model alongside a nude portrait in its upcoming issue. But this isn't your typical tale about the feverish discovery of a new face in high-fashion -- because Lea just happens to be a transsexual.

Of course, that makes the nude all the more provocative. Her gaze is calm and direct, and the casual placement of her hand clearly reveals that she hasn't had gender reassignment surgery. Unlike in the buzzed-about Givenchy ad, she doesn't wear ostentatious makeup or strike any of the dramatic poses that usually mark high fashion editorials. She is simply, arrestingly bare. With her long hair draped over her shoulders, Lea looks straight out of the Garden of Eden -- and that is perhaps what's most subversive about the photo: its ability to make us re-conceive of what we think of as "natural.".

And she is gorgeous. Actually I think you are prettier.

Transward

Thanks to fhunter for all of your posts. They are most informative/helpful.

I am on my first CC trial, but am only on Lexapro, which is an anti-depressant. It is also maybe less strong than Androcur, at least with my current dosage. I am on 20mg a day which has not removed my sex drive much, but have recently found out from my doctor that I can increase this (he has a patient on 60mg). I should be going up to 30mg after I next see him in three weeks.

I would consider going up to 40mg, but if this doesn't work then I would explore other options....probably Androcur.

My main aim is to reduce my sex drive so it's nice to here that Androcur has reduced your masturbation to every 7-9 days. I would like to get to that point. If I can do it with Lexapro then it would be best because I can retain my energy. Any weight gain is not a problem (actually I am trying to gain weight at the moment) as I am only about 56kgs.

Keep us up to date fhunter. I'm especially interested in the longer term effects of your use of Androcur.

On the new avatar picture you look very serious, almost sad. But there is some beauty in your look. Strange, but I have noticed that no HRT eunuchs tend to develope certain features on their faces, but I can not tell what is it exactly. I need to analyse, but I feel you have that 'something specific' in your face when watching your avatar picture.

Perhaps those drunk guys were genuinely puzzled too. Your long hair helps to confuse people too.

Along with breast developement, have you noticed atrophy of testicles and penis? Fat redistribution? If you ever had any acne, it is a forgotten problem I think.

Thank you for keeping us up to date with your honest posts!

erikboy (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2010 12:53 am On the new avatar picture you look very serious, almost sad. But there is some beauty in your look. Strange, but I have noticed that no HRT eunuchs tend to develope certain features on their faces, but I can not tell what is it exactly. I need to analyse, but I feel you have that 'something specific' in your face when watching your avatar picture.

Perhaps those drunk guys were genuinely puzzled too. Your long hair helps to confuse people too.

Along with breast developement, have you noticed atrophy of testicles and penis? Fat redistribution? If you ever had any acne, it is a forgotten problem I think.

Thank you for keeping us up to date with your honest posts!

I have got my hands on the keyboard.. so. let's answer the questions one by one. And probably add some more questions and thoughts from myself.

First @gregrowlerson. Long term effects for me were the lack of energy at times, and the lack of motivation (how long have it taken me to answer on the posts? I could have done this almost two weeks ago :-/). Motivation is a bit better at work, but there it is simple, as much as the place I work is laid back and relaxed, there are still deadlines, and work that needs to be done.

Another change, is that I have lost strength in my arms (not that I was very strong to begin with, but a pair of rollerskates feels heavy). Legs are ok, but I walk regularly.

One more long term change is emotional changes.

@erikboy. Atrophy of testicles? They look a little smaller then they were. Penis - do not know, it looks smaller in flaccid state. In erect (well, the equipment works, somewhat) - I haven't measured.

Fat redistribution? There was not much to redistribute to begin with. In autumn, after the first trial I was weighting 65kg with height 182cm. The running joke in the family was: "Can you hide behind a telegraph pole?". I gained some fat during the trial, and it looks that I am rounder in some places. Haven't checked the weight.

As for the avatar picture - it was taken after long, crazy and stressful day, probably will update it soon to something that looks a bit better .

Last two days I felt very tired, almost without any energy. Today at the end of the work day I felt very sleepy. Coffee helped, but not by much.

Now some questions what bother me...

1. Can low levels of T cause back pains? I had back problems before, but they were rarely bothering me, now it is more frequent.

2. It looks like low T increases gender issues (or the presence of testosterone masks some of them), have anyone noticed something similar?

May be it is just that my emotions change easier and I am more aware of them. Yesterday evening it was a flurry of emotions: anger, fear, regret, in rapid succession, may be there was something else, but I do not remember it clearly, and I was not in the mood to write it down.

For energy levels i would suggest you to go doc and complain about tiredness and loss of energy. They will check blood first. I suspect that it is something to do with low red bloodcell count which is connected to testosterone via erythropoietin. (I hope I wrote that substance name correctly) I've had similar condition - low energy that was related to low red blood cell count and low iron. It would be interesting to know if you have time and other resources for that including energy

I used to have backpains also, when I was younger. These came and went away periodically. It is hard to tell if these pains are related to low T.

About gender issues it is even harder to answer for me, as I have never experienced confusion about my gender. That is true that T is emotion blocker and low T sets most emotions free, but how it affects gender...?

Perhaps someone else have much better knowledge.

fhunter wrote: Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:49 pm Last two days I felt very tired, almost without any energy. Today at the end of the work day I felt very sleepy. Coffee helped, but not by much.

Now some questions what bother me...

1. Can low levels of T cause back pains? I had back problems before, but they were rarely bothering me, now it is more frequent.

2. It looks like low T increases gender issues (or the presence of testosterone masks some of them), have anyone noticed something similar?

May be it is just that my emotions change easier and I am more aware of them. Yesterday evening it was a flurry of emotions: anger, fear, regret, in rapid succession, may be there was something else, but I do not remember it clearly, and I was not in the mood to write it down.

fhunter wrote: Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:42 pm I have got my hands on the keyboard.. so. let's answer the questions one by one. And probably add some more questions and thoughts from myself.

First @gregrowlerson. Long term effects for me were the lack of energy at times, and the lack of motivation (how long have it taken me to answer on the posts? I could have done this almost two weeks ago :-/). Motivation is a bit better at work, but there it is simple, as much as the place I work is laid back and relaxed, there are still deadlines, and work that needs to be done.

Another change, is that I have lost strength in my arms (not that I was very strong to begin with, but a pair of rollerskates feels heavy). Legs are ok, but I walk regularly.

One more long term change is emotional changes.

@erikboy. Atrophy of testicles? They look a little smaller then they were. Penis - do not know, it looks smaller in flaccid state. In erect (well, the equipment works, somewhat) - I haven't measured.

Fat redistribution? There was not much to redistribute to begin with. In autumn, after the first trial I was weighting 65kg with height 182cm. The running joke in the family was: "Can you hide behind a telegraph pole?". I gained some fat during the trial, and it looks that I am rounder in some places. Haven't checked the weight.

As for the avatar picture - it was taken after long, crazy and stressful day, probably will update it soon to something that looks a bit better .

Hi Fhunter,

With Depo Provera,I get back pains off and on and I still have tiredness ...... have been on DP nine months now, and these are the only bits I don't like

When without T my joints ache. Tends to go away after a while. I also get more emotional on low T - very easy to cry or rage and regret.

fhunter wrote: Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:49 pm Last two days I felt very tired, almost without any energy. Today at the end of the work day I felt very sleepy. Coffee helped, but not by much.

Persistant lethargy should be looked into; almost anything can cause it, but check thyroid levels.

fhunter wrote: Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:49 pm 1. Can low levels of T cause back pains? I had back problems before, but they were rarely bothering me, now it is more frequent.

No likely to be low T; where is the pain? Higher up, mid back is like to be either gall bladder or diabetes, in the small of the back could be renal complications.

A broken coccyx or damaged sacroiliac, could produce referred pain as could a bladder infection. The most common cause of non-specific back pain is a bad mattress. A firmer mattress or sleeping on a board can fix that.

erikboy (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 13, 2010 1:36 pm For energy levels i would suggest you to go doc and complain about tiredness and loss of energy. They will check blood first. I suspect that it is something to do with low red bloodcell count which is connected to testosterone via erythropoietin. (I hope I wrote that substance name correctly) I've had similar condition - low energy that was related to low red blood cell count and low iron. It would be interesting to know if you have time and other resources for that including energy

Thanks fhunter for your updates.

I know a little about EPO that you are refering too, just from my interest in distance running where it has been used to great effect as an illegal performance enhancing substance. So if a high red bloodcell count aids/increases endurance then it makes sense that a lack of energy might be because of a low count.

It is interesting to hear about the emotional side of things. As in T reduction increasing anger, fear, regret and crying sometimes for no reason, etc. Perhaps Kristoff can answer this, but does removing a lot or all of theT from a man result in him being generally more emotional than women or similar. I don't particularly care or mind about high emotions......but it might help me to understand women a little better.