Hey Loverboy

You just told me that the next part is coming, GREAT

But please understand me, if there is one thing I've learned from eternity:

It's a very long time. If you catch a feeling, you like so much that it should never past, you be wise and stay there for a very long time.

So I'm sorry, I just came to part 4 as Alex and Squirt are kissing on the beach. Several times now I have opened the story, planning to finish it. But it just feels so dammed good that upto now I didn't find the force to leave them.

Don't think that I'm not willing to read your stories, only they are so real, they touch me so deeply. Please, I will take my time, and this special part I will enjoy for a long time, just let me stay with them a bit longer and feel great.

You are a blessing to lots of readers who cann't wait for the next episode,

but as for me, you better take a holiday. Would be nice to see you at 'Nam

With love and kisses

J***

Just read chapter 8. It is great and lives up to the expectaions that I have for the story. Keep up the good work...er...writing.

gandalf (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 19, 2009 7:06 pm Just read chapter 8. It is great and lives up to the expectaions that I have for the story. Keep up the good work...er...writing.

Hey man...

Thanks a lot for your nice comment. I really do appreciate. I really have fun writing this story; it comes right out of my imagination but it is based on real characters. At least, some of them are. And of course, none of them have been castrated (LOL). Take Jason for instance: he really does exist. And each time I see him I imagine him without balls. Ohhh... each time I picture him like that I get a hardon

So I'm sharing my fantasy with all of you guys and I'm very glad to see that you enjoy it as much as I do...

Again, thanks!

Loverboy

Chapter 8 is great, just like the other chapters

Keep the story "cumming"!

One suggestion though. Make sure you keep the character's names correct.

In this section, when you were first mentioning Peter to John, in the next paragraph you called John by the name of Peter. Took me a minute to reread and follow what had happened.

NO big deal. Just thought I would mention it. YOu are getting so many characters in the story am sure it is difficult to concentrate on names when you are composing.

searching1943 (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 20, 2009 2:48 pm Keep the story "cumming"!

One suggestion though. Make sure you keep the character's names correct.

In this section, when you were first mentioning Peter to John, in the next paragraph you called John by the name of Peter. Took me a minute to reread and follow what had happened.

NO big deal. Just thought I would mention it. YOu are getting so many characters in the story am sure it is difficult to concentrate on names when you are composing.

Maybe at home they turn over time by time......... it can be hard to separate the reality form the fantasy

searching1943 (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 20, 2009 2:48 pm Keep the story "cumming"!

One suggestion though. Make sure you keep the character's names correct.

In this section, when you were first mentioning Peter to John, in the next paragraph you called John by the name of Peter. Took me a minute to reread and follow what had happened.

NO big deal. Just thought I would mention it. You are getting so many characters in the story am sure it is difficult to concentrate on names when you are composing.

Hey pal...

You're so right! I never realized I had made this error. I read the story twice before sending it to the editor, and I never saw the error I had made.:-\ Sorry for that.

I suppose that when you have many characters in a story, things like that can happen. But it's not a valid excuse... and in the future I will pay attention so a mix up like doesn't happen again.

Your comment was very constructive and I always enjoy getting constructive comments like yours. Again, thanks pal!

I have been thinking about putting a list of all the characters with a short description of them at the beginning of each new chapter. Do you think it would be a good idea? Maybe it would help the readers to better identify each one of them, to know who is who... But maybe, my idea is silly. I don't know...

Take good care...

Loverboy.

Loverboy (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:38 am Hey pal...

You're so right! I never realized I had made this error. I read the story twice before sending it to the editor, and I never saw the error I had made.:-\ Sorry for that.

I suppose that when you have many characters in a story, things like that can happen. But it's not a valid excuse... and in the future I will pay attention so a mix up like doesn't happen again.

Your comment was very constructive and I always enjoy getting constructive comments like yours. Again, thanks pal!

I think your idea of making a character legenda is great

Loverboy (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:38 am I have been thinking about putting a list of all the characters with a short description of them at the beginning of each new chapter. Do you think it would be a good idea? Maybe it would help the readers to better identify each one of them, to know who is who... But maybe, my idea is silly. I don't know...

Take good care...

Loverboy.

Maybe in your fantasy you should have them wear footbalshirts,......

You can remember them by the numbers

I think your idea of writing a character legenda is great

Jean Op den Kamp (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:44 am Maybe in your fantasy you should have them wear footbalshirts,......

You can remember them by the numbers

I think your idea of writing a character legenda is great

Ha Ha Ha...

Hey, what a great idea! (LOL)...

Thanks for the suggestion...

Loverboy

Loverboy (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:38 am Hey pal...

You're so right! I never realized I had made this error. I read the story twice before sending it to the editor, and I never saw the error I had made.:-\ Sorry for that.

Don't worry about it. I did the same thing in "Sander's Story - Part 13". I did not notice it until I read parts of it more than a year later.

One of the best writers on the archive has two different stories in which a character's name changed. In one story, Ronny changed to Robby. In the other, Ronnie changed to Robbie.

This type of error is hard to detect in your own writing. It is easier to spot it in someone else's story.