Hey guys, I had to be in the hospital for a few days - - nothing terribly serious but it kept me away for a week or so.

Meanwhile - I read an article that said you can KILL CORONAVIRUS by turning a hairdryer on very hot and blowing it up your nose to a temperature of 138°F and that will kill the virus.

Don't do that.

Please don't do that.

It won't work.

It can never work.

Some stupid asshole said it on {expletive deleted} so take me as WOG and don't do it.

Shits getting real in Charleston.

I was woke up this morning by a crack whore banging on my door. She said she'd give me a blow job and a donut for a roll of toilet paper.

I finished my donut and warned all my buddies. This is crazy.

I'd be really cautious of cream-filled donuts.

Arab Nights (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:51 pm I'd be really cautious of cream-filled donuts.

I only like the ones with holes.

rogerwpbfl (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 26, 2020 6:52 pm I only like the ones with holes.

I thought you just liked anything with holes....

kristoff wrote: Fri Mar 27, 2020 6:46 am I thought you just liked anything with holes....

I can neither confirm nor deny.

Music jokes

Q: Why are Violins smaller than Violas?

A: They really are the same size. It’s the violinist’s heads that are bigger

Q: Why are viola jokes so short?

A: So violinists can remember them.

Q: What’s the best recording of Bartok’s Viola Concerto?

A: Music Minus One.

I'm not Hayden my feelings about music jokes. I'll put down my frozen Schubert and tell you while some art is bad, Mozart is good, and while music puns are not subject to capital punishment, I'll stop here.

A possibly new take on an old joke

Joe, A man in his mid 30s began having horrible headaches and went to his doctor. After a thorough exam, the doctor told him, "The good news is your headaches are curable. The bad news is, they're caused by a rare condition in which your testicles press up against the base of your spine and the only way to relieve the pressure is to remove your testicles."

Joe left the Doctor's office shocked and depressed. As he passed a men's clothing store, he remembered that when his wife was depressed, buying a new outfit sometimes helped her shake herself out of it. He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"After 30 years in the business you get an eye for such things."

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about some new shirts to go with it?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Okay."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Hmmm, 34 sleeve, 16 and a half neck."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. "Wow, you're good," he

told the salesman.

How about some new underwear to go with the new shirt and suit?"

Joe said, "Sure, why not?"

"Let's see...size 36," said the salesman.

"Ha, you missed that one," laughed Joe. "I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34! It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you horrible headaches."

New Suit:... $300

3 Shirts:.......$60

6 pr. Briefs:..$24

Second Opinion: Priceless.

Where can I buy new shirts for $20 each?