On again off again with Tblockers has been a path to insight, permitted the addressing of eunuch "childlike" behavior and a way to give my body time to adjust.

So this is my 4th trial, started about 2 months ago and after the return of a demonic sex drive that had me in full tranny mode devouring shemale porn several time a day. I learned that I do not want to be a girl, but I want to be like a girl as I was raised like a girl in so many ways. This transition, to embody the female, without attempting to become, has required art, magic and a pinch of science(androcur).

I have begun to love my mind, one that naturally adopted female engendered ways growing as a child. Society has shown me great understanding, acceptance and empathy. I also understand a time will arise when folks aren't as tolerant.

I have fatigue, shortness of breath on androcur too. The most troubling SE was uncontrollable giddiness. I became like a teenage girl! After several bouts of the giggles at work, I needed a reprieve. Stopping and resetting helped get control and mature enough and avoid the real "funny farm".

A pound of fat is the size of a grapefruit a pound of muscle a tangerine. I was near 220lbs and muscled, now probably 210 and look much better. It will take time, more cardio, less carbs and less weight to get thinner body. Like all things time and persistence, your two best friends, will always be there for you.

Leaving the safety and security of a physically dominant body and a highly tuned masculinity is scary. Trusting others has helped. This may not be my last trial, but I do feel it is fitting so very well. Self understanding and acceptance I feel is key.

Try try again,

Chilli

I tried Siterone for 8 days and had to quit due to the extreme shortness of breath. I took 50mg twice a day. That was at the beginning of December 2020. I still suffer from the shortness of breath. According to the medical literature, Siterone or Androcur stays in your system for 3 to 20 months. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this long SoB after stopping the drug?

The breathlessness I experienced on androcur has usually abated after 4 or 5 weeks after stopping taking it.. Now I am under the guidance of a Dr and prescribed spironolactone. Just finished my first month on 100mg a day. Definitely not as agresive as androcur, but a much more pleasant experience. Sexual thoughts have definitely reduced. I still get erections, but cuddling with my partner does not automatically produce one, even in bed, but when it doesn't happen it's a wonderful feeling of unsexual closeness. Had a few hot flashes, but again not as bad as on androcur. My body odor has changed. I do not have that typical male bo. I don't sweat that much anyway, but I definitely don't have that smell. It's more like a prepubescent smell. Facial hair is taking about 3 days to be at the point it used to be every day. I got quite pimply for about a week the second week in it seemed, but now my face is clear and feels less oily. Not sure if I notice any breast growth. I have put on about 8lbs, but not walking as much this past couple of weeks because of the weather, and my partner has been baking delicious, but very fatening cakes! All in all this is a much better experience than androcur.

I know that after stopping Androcur I was still easily out of breath on 10th day after quitting. But after a month I did not experience that anymore. I wonder if there is any research done on that issue. Is that a problem of low iron content in blood or something else? there must be some remedy for that!

I have experimented with different forms of chemical castration, but yet to try cyproterone acetate (androcur).

I have learned a lot about what does and doesn't work, I have used bicalutamide 150mg with hairloss and no change to sex drive.

I have used spironolactone 200mg, it killed off erection's at the cost of constantly needing to pee and brain fog.

I have used estradiol enanthate injections as monotherapy, it suppressed testosterone but i was getting erections off of the estrogen.

You should try combining cyproterone at a lower dose with estradiol, there is an interesting thing here to read through.

https://transfemscience.org/articles/cpa-dosage/

I am going try this instead, currently in talks with my doctor to try and get cyproterone as a bridging prescription as self medication is not ideal.

Plus, high doses of cyproterone increases the chances of getting a brain tumor; so don't do that. If you don't mind a small amount of breast development, gave that article a read.

There is always some risk involved practically with any substance. So, by taking androcur you have to accept risks. With Androcur there is a risk that it does not work at all. And also there is a risk that your libido never returns along with the risk of having brain tumor. Breast developement is a big no for me.

From my previous experience I can tell that Androcur+Tamoxifen/Raloxifen almost zeroed my libido, no random erections too, which lead me to a pleasant state of mind of no compulsive sexual thoughts and no desires, even no interest, while I was still able to get almost hard when I tried. Only androcur did not work as well as combination with tamoxifen. As my masturbation rate rose after stopping tamoxifen from twice a month to twice a week. (Normal is twice a day). Tamoxifen acts as an estrogen for bones, so no worry with osteoporosis, and it blocks any estrogen from breast tissues, so no worries with breast growth.

First 2 months I experienced some brain fog, but that got better on 3rd and 4th month. But the most annoying side effect was lack of sleep. Certainly. Hotflashes were pure joy compared to insomnia. And also that out of breath thing that I did not experience during my first trial. So it gives me hopes, that being out of breath as an eunuch is curable

Interesting, breast development is something i wanted. Before i could be bothered to properly educate myself, I started estradiol monotherapy with estradiol enanthate injections. My estrogen levels were in the thousands, equivocal to what would be seen in a pregnant woman in the third trimester. I have been on hrt for months now, 8 of them as of today; and I have permanently stalled breast development or so I think I have. I haven't had any additional growth beyond 2/3rd month on hrt, its kinda annoying since i am trying to go for androgyneous looks. I have however had significant growth in my hips, partially due to my youth and also because of gyneoid fat redistribution; so thats a plus. Whenever i epilate it take months to regrow. I last epilated my body in mid October and its only just growing back now which is cool.

So update with the doctors, I quoted various things from the NHS/GMC/WPATH and basically since I have been self medicating for 8 months; the risk of self medication is seen greater than the risk of an actual prescription and that for trans people, giving them a bridging prescription is a self-harm deterrent advocated by the Royal College of Psychiatry(?). A lot of doctors in the UK work for non-specialist practitioners, and because of this they are dissuaded from prescribing hormones. What I did was I sent an email to my doctor containing various things from the NHS (old pdf's) such as "Endocrine management for non-specialist practices"(?) and other things too. My doctor is going to take a look at the stuff I had sent them, and said for me to get a bloodtest done in the meantime, then we can have a discussion about getting a prescription.

All thats left is to wait and see what happens, hopefully I can get a prescription of cyproterone acetate on the NHS. All this without seeing a GIC/GDC, all though i do have a referral.