Christina (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 03, 2003 1:10 pm It's nice to hear from you again. It seems you are caught between a rock and a hard place (no pun intended) with your desire to lose a high libido and still retain sterility. I imagine this is very frustrating for you to know there is a way to kill the libido, but the side effects are unwanted.

§-(snip)-§

I hope you find a solution soon that fits your situation without compromising you sterility. I wouldn't want for you to find that by achieving your desire, you had caused permanent unwanted damage to yourself.

Hi, Christina,

Whow, you are looking good these days! The succession of your Avatars is interesting and pleasing indeed -- hopefully for you as well.

Yes, I am somewhat frustrated and very confused about what I want to do. During January I set some great career and personal goals that don't have anything to do with being feminized or becoming sterile. They are outside of this. However, I can't even explain to myself what I want to do physically. I really like taking the estrogen but I don't like the breasts. I like "the enjoyment from a sense of loss" but I don't want to be totally sterile. Going off the estrogen I literally went wild (for someone my age) with masturbation and I notice during this weekend that was curbed almost instantly by taken it again.

Maybe it is because I am surrounded by a lot of Women at work and I want to have a girlfriend again. I probably wouldn't date someone from work, but of course I see the ladies. I mentioned to you privately that if there is a chance to have a child, I would want that.

When I see beautiful Women and their bodies or body parts I am still jealous and wish I could look like that. Oh, well.

Thanks as always for your concern.

- Jim

Blaise (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 03, 2003 1:41 pm Looking over old posts that I made, I apparently enjoyed some aspects of low testosterone, but now I enjoy recovery and wish for greater recovery.

Old Softee,

Ha, I enjoyed many of those old posts you made -- you put into few words often what I was feeling or desired to achieve. Sometimes the struggle is more enjoyable than the end result...

Just like you (were), I was very happy when I measured my 'erect' penis and it was quite a bit shorter than last summer. I haven't taken a measurement lately...

But it is good to know that estrogen, or estrogen and Spirotone, can stop the erections fairly quickly. I still have a supply of phyto-estrogens and female glandulars that I could take as well as Boron.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do for yourself!

- Jim