Mac (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 6:28 pm I have heard that arguemrnt, too. Ask them questions. Get them to talk about the company and themselves. It takes the focus off of you.

You are absolutely correct, Mac. One definitely needs to ask questions about the role and the company. Hiring managers want to know that you have res

transward (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 7:29 pm earched their company and are genuinely interested.

A person who greatly influenced me put is this way. To be an adult you had to learn two things and the second is much harder than the first. The first is to know how to keep your mouth shut, and the second is to know when not to. He said too many people thought they could d

o the second without learning the first.

Transward

I have heard similar things and agree, Transward. Many years ago, a retired principal friend added this bit of advice, "Keep your big mouth shut and your big ears open.[

Mac (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 6:28 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 3:21 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 04, 2012 4:12 pm
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Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:03 pm import

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Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:21 pm ____

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Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:58 pm ____

________________________________
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I app

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:21 pm

reciate the input from Dave, Mac and Transward. What

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:39 pm I ab

solutely need to do is get back to my basic inter

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:58 pm

view skills that have served me well before. Those in

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:53 pm

clude answering questions as simply and directly as

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:44 pm

possible. Even to the point of giving nothing more th

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:49 pm an a

yes or no answer where possible. If the interview

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2011 10:14 pm er w

ants more information, he or she will ask for it.

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 22, 2010 8:51 am __

________________________________________________ ______________________________________________
[/quote]


I'm not certain if this played a part in all the time the recruiter took to refresh my interview skills, but we both graduated from the same college. I have never run into another agency recruiter as capable, engaged and professional. I sent him a thank you email yesterday afternoon.

He is recommending that I be submitted to the company on the basis of my being a very good match for the role.

Late yesterday, I wrote to a friend here that I have little time to write or read anyone else's posts. My job search, PT exercises, hot and cold compress treatments, and dilating consume most of each day. I'm also reviewing and editing a scientific paper a young friend from Chicago hopes to have published. Yet here I am a day later posting. I've written many times that, on my own threads, I'm writing because it helps me sort things out. Or at least make some peace with the way things are for me right now. So, some of what I write may be repetitive. Even so, it helps me to write out certain things that I've written before. Being able to read my older posts, even going back several years, reminds me of how far I have come on what, in many ways, has been a terrific adventure.

I've had some wonderful up times and so not too terrific down times since I started my first tentative posts on EA back in 2007 (if I am correct, but close enough.) For the roughly 6 1/2 months since my last job ended, things have been quite difficult much of the time, although most days I manage to be thankful for the good things in my life and feel some happiness. By bedtime, relaxation exercises leave me feeling calm and at peace with myself and my situation.

This serial unemployment thing is getting old! I really hate that I am now on Emergency Unemployment Compensation. I am grateful it's available, but this is starting my second stretch of extended unemployment since I was laid off in July, 2009. It does not help much to know that there are many other people in the same, or worse, situations. I do emphathize with these folks, though. I realize, too, that the contractor way of life may be the way it is for me for, well, forever essentially. This is still the trend for many IT-related jobs. It would not be so bad if I could count on quickly finding new contracts as an existing ones end.

That is not the case right now, but I'm working to up my odds of finding new employment more quickly. I am studying for professional certification in my field. The study book is incredibly boring and very detailed, but that's the way it is. Few people have this certification, as it is relatively new. Few job posts openly seek candidates with it. In the end, then, it may not help much.

As I soon found out after being laid off in 2009, avoiding most economic news reports is a wise course of action. Reading dire predictions does not help me in any way. I cannot change whether the economy continues its sluggish improvement or we see another downturn before the current recovery ends several years down the road. The only thing I can control is how I react to events and, to an extent, my attitude toward life. On occasion, I like to read Paul Krugman's pieces on the NY Times web site. A day or two ago his column was directly related to another thread here. I may post it there.

I am attending local professional society networking meetings.

For the future, I still hope to live back in Chicago or on the east or west coasts. More people in my field are working remotely, at locations beyond driving distance of the office. If I can land such a job, I could live anywhere. All of this is a very long view of things.

I still hope to start dating, or at least meeting new people, soon. Sitting is becoming easier but I still sit as little as possible. When I moved to Chicago, the adjustment was easier because I could get out and about whenever and to where ever I wanted. I cannot do that now, partly because of my sitting problem and partly because I need to conserve funds. If I were fully recovered, I would at least get out to an occasional inexpensive movie and to visit.

Several weeks ago, I did something foolish and I should not have permitted myself to be in a situation where this could happen. I spilled water all over my laptop computer! I know better and I have never done anything like this before. I had hoped to be able to repair the machine but that would have cost more than getting this decently capable laptop I'm now using. The damaged machine was six years old and starting to behave erratically. I had hoped it would hold out until I am employed.

In another week, I see my gynecologist again. My last testosterone reading, taken last year in Chicago, continued to be

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:53 pm below the test detection limit. Th

e first time this happened, back in 2010, a low dose of Androgel really perked me up. I was more energized and confident. I will insist the gynecologist check my T level so, if it is still too low for a woman, we can take action. I am very concerned too low testosterone is affecting my mood now. I cannot afford to let that continue. It is clear to me after writing this post that my mood is low. I've been in circumstances similar to this time before and I have not felt this down.

Saturday, I had the pleasure of speaking, over lunch, with my good friend Kristoff. This was not the first time I've met with him since returning to Minnesota. I always enjoy getting together.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:31 am

Mac (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 6:28 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 3:21 pm [quote="Danya (imported)" t

ime=1333519920]
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time=1312789500]

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ime=1310035320]

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]

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 09, 2011 9:09 pm ______

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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:21 pm

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After six mont

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:16 pm

hs of li
[/quote]
v

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:24 pm ing in Minnesota, I finally got my new licen

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:44 pm s

Da [/quote] nya (imported) wrote:Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:56 pm e and p

lates this morning. State law requires that n

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:59 pm

ew resid

ents must complete these steps within 60 days

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:12 pm .

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:13 pm So I was late b

y four mo

nths. I was ho

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:13 pm nest when

Danya (imported) [/quote] wrote:Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:32 pm the depu

t

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:21 pm y asked how long I had been here. She went a
it
straight face, responded with the 60
]

ake the Knowledge Test. All of that [quote="Danya (imported)" time=1294649040

]

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:59 pm studyin

g for nothing!

I really like the new photo

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:49 pm
It's the best I've had for an offici


ent and far superior to my passport photo.

[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1292968260
___________________________________ ____________________________________________[quote=

"Danya (imported)" time=1296300060]
______

_________

Job interviews are picking up. Wednesday, I have the third and final set of

in

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:58 pm terviews for a permanent job. It's been over a month since the first interview, but I am not surprised. Pe

Da [/quote] nya (imported) wrote:Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:21 pm rmanent hiring frequently is a much longer process that contract hiring.

I have a phone interview this

af

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:39 pm ternoon.

I may be offered an essentially permanent job in Rhode Island. I like New England and the loca

ti

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:58 pm on is just an hour's drive from Boston. Then there's the nearby ocean, too. I would need about ten days to

[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:53 pm drive there, so I do not aggravate my sitting pain.

Last Friday, I had an in person interview for a ve

r

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:44 pm y short contract job of less than two months. If I am offered it, I will accept. The agency recruiter agre
t

I had two interviews that went well last week. Both were for permanent jobs. Of course, I may not be offered either. But of the two, I prefer the much smaller organization because it seems I can be the most help there.

During my time in Chicago, most everything seemed like an adventure. Most particularly somehow managing to fulfill my dream of having GRS. Although I am still glad I had this surgery, the best part was the journey to get there and side adventures along the way.

I want to continue to lead a purposeful life. One where I am working toward goals that matter to me. Perhaps, though, I may not know at times what the goal is

EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 11, 2011 10:01 am . For the first time in my life,

I may be comfortable with that uncertainty.

Part of what has helped me cope with unemployment and my pelvic pain has been living in the moment. Not the past or future, nothing more than right now. I've been getting better at it, although I still have to remind myself if I start to stress out. Being able to do this helps me feel very calm about a future that, in several ways, is more uncertain that what I would have imagined a few years ago. I am getting very comfortable with that uncertainty.

A continuing journey will be discovering who I am as a woman who is, after all, not truly a woman. Not in the sense that I was born a girl or even raised as one. There is no way I can ever know what that must be like. Surgery did not change any of this in the least. In a way, I may have more freedom than many natal women to find a definition of 'me' that is more than 'woman.' Just as any trans person can.

Saturday was gorgeous, with pleasant temperatures a[q

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 03, 2012 5:32 pm uote="Danya (imported)" time=13314280

80]
nd a sun-washed sky. I met a friend for
[/quote]
coffee, then drove to the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum. For the first time, I was able to walk up and down the rolling hills of the arboretum without an increase in my pain. In fact, my two hour hike lessened my pain. Finally being able to get around the place reminded me that this wonderful spot, though not as landscaped and with many fewer cultivated flowers than the Chicago Botanic Garden, has its own charm. Including extensive natural areas, allowing for long hikes through woodland, prairie and bog.

I was glad I caught the peak bloom time of the native yellow lady slipper orchids, the large and the smaller varieties. As I had several years ago, I got down on the damp earth, under the trees, to get 'head on' photos of the blossoms. Near the bog, the showy lady slippers were still nothing more than promises of pink and white blossoms to come in June. The plants were mere spikes of white and green poking through the soil.

It's so good to hear you're getting better, Danya..Having followed your journey for quite some time now, I'd say you have all the qualifications to be a woman...I consider you to be one..A very kind, intelligent one, at that..I love your flowery, descriptive narrative..I , too, am a nature lover...I watched a couple of goofy You Tube entrees this morning..A French one about 2 baby foxes in a family with a beautiful Akita dog, who adored the kits....and a story of a pet squirrel playing with his cat pals...Both wonderful and tear rendering... Be well...Good luck...smooches Jackie

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Tue May 15, 2012 5:23 am It's so good to hear you're getting better, Danya..

My progress continues and I hope to be back to normal sitting in a few more months! I'm up to about five minutes on a chair without my special cushion. This may not sound like much, but it's a big improvement.

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Tue May 15, 2012 5:23 am Having followed your journey for quite some time now, I'd say you have all the qualifications to be a woman...I consider you to be one..A very kind, intelligent one, at that..

I appreciate your very kind comments, Jackie.

Yesterday, May 19, was the four year anniversary of my first day on the job as Danya.

Since then, my life has changed in many ways beyond the very major changes of transitioning. Roughly three years ago, when I was laid off, I could not have imagined how far I would come in several major life areas. Or that I even had the ability to come so far. Certain changes that I initially viewed with trepidation have worked out for the best. For instance: my financial resources are very depleted, yet I feel more in charge of my life than ever. Another example is that, now that I am physically recovering, I am again able to see more possibilities ahead.

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Tue May 15, 2012 5:23 am I love your flowery, descriptive narrative..I , too, am a nature lover...I watched a couple of goofy You Tube entrees this morning..A French one about 2 baby foxes in a family with a beautiful Akita dog, who adored the kits....and a story of a pet squirrel playing with his cat pals...Both wonderful and tear rendering... Be well...Good luck...smooches Jackie

Tears can be a very good thing. I often cry when I am very happy or overcome with joy when I hear, or see, something of extraordinary beauty.

Best wishes,

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Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:24 pm _

I'm starting to active

[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:56 pm ly pursue job opportunities outside the Twin Cities,

particularly in Chicago. Not only because I love Chic

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:13 pm agoland, but because it's relativel

y close at 400 miles. I still could

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:21 pm not drive there in a day without fear of wo

rsen

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 01, 2011 6:51 pm ing my pelvic pain. Three days would work

[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:29 am , though. Or flying there for interview would be an [

quote="Danya (imported)" time=1298622300]
option, too.

Looking for work in more than one metro

[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:21 pm area is very time consuming. I feel I need to because [

quote="Danya (imported)" time=1298531760]
it has now been seven months since my last job ended

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:16 pm . A few recruiters are starting to say, a little incr

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:44 pm edulously perhaps, "You've been unemployed seven mon[

quote="Danya (imported)" time=1297843140]
ths?"

While the Information Technology unemployment r

[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:12 pm ate both here and in Chicago is in the 3 - 5% range,

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:32 pm this rate includes extremely high demand areas like

D [/quote] anya (imported) wrote:Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:03 pm Enterprise Architects (0.3%) and Database Administrato

D [/quote] anya (imported) wrote:Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:21 pm rs (1.3%). My experience leads me to believe unemploy

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:58 pm ment in my current field is at least at 6 - 7%.

The


"Danya (imported)" time=1295182380]
me wonder if I should be in another line of work, c[

quote="Danya (imported)" time=1294649040]
onsidering that with this year included I will have w

D [/quote] anya (imported) wrote:Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:49 pm orked only about half of the last four years. As a res

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2011 10:14 pm ult, I'm investigating alternate career options, too.

[quote

="Danya (imported)" time=1292968260]
__________________________________________________

________

I was turned down for two permanet and one contract jobs last week. One of the permanent opportunities did not surprise me. During the interview, I had the distinct impression that they had already made their decision. For the other permanent job, I got the feeling I was more than they could afford for the opportunity.

As for the contract job, the interview was scheduled to last for 30 minutes. I had interviewed at this company before and knew the routine. There were three interviewers. The conversation had to zoom by so quickly that I could not get a grasp of how it went. This place will not go beyond the 30 minute limit, either. It felt like the corporate alternative to speed dating! Even the agency recruiter said he could not see how, particularly with a 4-way conversation, a realistic evaluation could be made under these circumstances.

For a day or so, I was discouraged by all this negative news. Such is life, though, and I have been working on my job hunt through most of the weekend.

As my pelvic pain is slowly easing, I continue to feel more confident and at ease with my situation, and my ability to accomplish what I must. Life and career issues that I need to work through now are not causing me much stress. I'm starting to enjoy my job search again, as I did when I moved to Chicago.

Perhaps I'm finally wising up at the age of 60. When I was a young adult, my father repeatedly passed on something he had heard, "Don't sweat the small stuff; it's all small stuff."

Interviewed yesterday for two permanent positions at a company I think would be a very good fit. The interviews went well. If I get past this stage, there will be two more interviews to pass before being offered a job.

Tuesday, I interviewe

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2011 5:45 pm d for a contract to hire job.

Although I think this company has some major problems in how the business is run, I will certainly accept a job offer.

Tomorrow, I have and interview with a financial services company. This is a 12 - 18 month contract. In the afternoon, I have my fourth interview of the week with a health services company, for a permanent opportunity.

This morning I learned that my resume is being submitted to a well known natioinal laboratory in suburban Chicago. I am excited about this opportunity. It would fulfill a long-time goal: combining my computer and science experience in one job.

I am preparing a new resume, emphasizing my science training and experience, so that I can apply for several advertised 'permanent' teaching jobs at nearby community colleges.

One of my roommates has started seeing a man, for what she describes as a relationship without emotional entanglements. I benefit because, on the nights she is gone, I take care of her adorable little dog. She sleeps at the foot of the bed. On a cool night, her little body gets cold. Then she wants to crawl under the covers. At first, I didn't think I would like this. She's so small that I hardly notice she's there. Besides, in the absence of a man I still have some companionship!

Good luck sweety..You certainly have your share of irons in the fire...Re the wee pup. Just be careful you don't roll over on it and smother it, whilst you're asleep...I had a pet squirrel as a kid that I smothered in my sleep....Geez did that hurt...I love the wee beasties....And some big ones too...smooches Jackie

Thanks, Jackie!

I agree with your advice on the wee pup. She is a bit larger than a squirrel and, I think, smarter, too. My roommate has allowed her under the covers for 6 years with no problems. Nonetheless, I will not do this again. Instead, I'll throw her another blanket to curl up in.

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon May 21, 2012 12:11 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue May 08, 2012 8:31 am [quote="Danya (imported)" time=1335475

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______________________________________
[/quote]
____________ ______________________________

I just
[/quote]
sent a message to my niece, the daughter of my youngest brother. She and I always got along great through her childhood into her teen years. Our relationship was the most positive of any in my family.

My family never responded to my last request to be in touch (November of 2009.) I think 'R' may be open to this now.

Not having her current email address, I sent a message through her profile on a business networking site. I included my email address. If she responds in a positive way, I will be very happy. If a response is negative, or I get no response, at least I will know I tried again.

I just

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 25, 2012 3:10 pm sent a message to my niece, the daughter of my youngest brother. She and I always got along great through her childhood into her teen years. Our relationship was the most positive of any in my family.

My family never responded to my last request to be in touch (November of 2009.) I think 'R' may be open to this now.

Not having her current email address, I sent a message through her profile on a business networking site. I included my email address. If she responds in a positive way, I will be very happy. If a response is negative, or I get no response, at least I will know I tried again.

I got up this morning and followed my routine of turning on the computer before doing anything else. I was happy to see an email response from my niece. I had explained in my note to her that I understood she might be angry with me for not contacting her much, much sooner. She wrote that she was 'not necessarily mad' that I had not contacted her sooner.

In my latest response, I did not tell her that I was afraid of coming between her and her parents. I admited to her, however, that I had made the mistake of not viewing her as an independent adult. I could have tried to send her a letter to her parents' address that they would forward to her. I asked her forgiveness for this. I also said that I understood if she had any anger now, or before, and that this was OK.

At least we have reconnected. Time will tell if more comes from this. I know several trans women whose families attempt to keep things going. In the end, those efforts have failed.