I'm so glad to hear you're well, Danya...These last few years have been exciting and life-changing for you, to say the least...You're one tough cookie(another idiot phrase)..

smooches m'luv Jackie

Thanks for your kind remarks, Jackie! I'm attempting to find a job arrangement that would eventually allow me to move back to Chicago or somewhere else in the USA. This may yet work. If not, I'm now finding more jobs in my field, and in MPLS/SP, than I can apply for and recruiters are aggressively courting me. In the next few days, I have interviews for three permanent jobs.

[quote="Dan

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:54 am ya (imported)" time=1325148540]

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2011 5:45 pm

Danya (i [/quote] mported) wrote:Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:36 pm [quote="Danya (imported)" time=1

312454820]

Danya (impo [/quote] rted) wrote:Sat Jul 30, 2011 9:32 pm
0035320]

1298965860]
nya (imported)" t[quote="Danya (imported)" time

=1306133220]
ime=1298730540]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu May 19, 2011 9:25 pm imported)" ti

me=1

298622300]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 06, 2011 1:22 pm imported

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time=1298542860]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu May 05, 2011 1:52 pm

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mported)" time=1298531760]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 01, 2011 6:31 pm imported

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[/quote]
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Mac (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 16, 2011 7:04 pm (imp
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orted)" time=1297946640]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 16, 2011 5:43 pm (i
[/qu

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[quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:42 pm (i
[/qu

ote]
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[quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 06, 2011 6:21 pm (i

[/quote]

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[quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:20 pm (import

ed)" time=1
[/quote]
296468180]
[quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2011 4:28 pm (i
[/qu

ote]
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[quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 8:08 pm (import

ed)" time
[/quote]
=1295855880]
[quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:25 pm (import

ed)"
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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:25 pm (i
[/qu

ote]
mported)" time=1295602740]
[quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 09, 2011 9:09 pm (import

ed)" time=1
[/quote]
295517480]
[quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 09, 2011 6:19 am (i
[/qu

ote]
mported)" time=1295182380]
[quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:01 pm (i

[/quote]

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[/q[quote="Danya (imported)" time=12
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99493440]
uote]
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[quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:56 pm (i

mported)" t
[/quote]
ime=1294139640]
[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1
[/quote]
292968260]
___________
[/quote]
__

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:13 pm ___

______________________
[/quote]
____________ ____

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:13 pm __________________

Danya ( [/quote] imported) wrote:Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:21 pm

____________________________

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 01, 2011 6:51 pm ___________

_____

Although I still have

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:29 am pain, cannot sit,

and dilating is more difficult (and

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 25, 2011 7:25 pm painful

) than it should be, all of these things are

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:21 pm improving. Walking i

s the one exercise I'm allowed to

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:16 pm do, and I

walk for at least an hour most days. This

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:16 pm helps. W

ith the help of a friend and one of my roomma

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:44 pm tes, I c

onstructed a better cushion out of kneeling p

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:59 pm ads, foa

m rubber, part of a pool noodle, plywood and

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:12 pm duct tape. It is the bes

t cushion I've used, although

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:32 pm none wi

ll be totally comfortable.

With all these ch

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:03 pm anges for the better,

I'm starting to feel back to my

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:21 pm 'normal', whatev

er that is , self. These last few m

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:58 pm onths ha

ve been difficult.

I am happy that my hair n

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:21 pm ow hangs slightly below

my shoulders and, in front, I

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:39 pm can bru

sh it down to my mouth -->:D I'm still using

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:58 pm a wig, b

ut will probably go without it within a few m

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:53 pm onths. Not having t

he advantages of a natal girl's ch

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:44 pm ildhood,

I will need help with styling my hair. One r

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:49 pm oommate told me to just

put some kind of thingamajig

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2011 10:14 pm in my ha

ir. I had no clue what she was talking about!

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 22, 2010 8:51 am ____________________

______________________________ __________________________________________________
[/quote]
________________

As a T, straight member of LGBTAQI..... I am excited by recent gay marriage progress in California, Washington state and New Jersey. This is all gratifying because in days gone by, I was an advocate for these rights through work with the NGLTF and with a very effective church-related rights group. My role was not large, but these events and others make my realize how important individual participation really is.

Hope you are successful in being accepted for one which interests you.

Thanks, Mac.

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:04 pm [quo[quote="Danya (imported)" time=132900804

0]
te="Danya (imported)" time=1325148540]
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[
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Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:10 am ote="Danya (imported)" time=1302078060]

[
[/quote]
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[/quote]
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[
[/quote]
quote="Danya (imported)" time=12
[/quote]
98730540]

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 25, 2011 7:25 pm [

quote="Danya (imported)" time=1298542860]
[
[/quote]
quote="Danya (imported)" time=1298531760]
[
[/quote]
quote="Danya (imported)" time=1298456160]
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[/quote]
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[
[/quote]
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[/quote]
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quote="Danya (imported)" time=1296468180]
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[/quote]
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[
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[
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[
[/quote]
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[
[/quote]
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[
[/quote]
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[
[/quote]
quote="Danya (imported)" time=1294139640]
[
[/quote]
quote="Danya (imported)" time=1292968260]
_
[/quote]
__________________________________________
[/quote]


This is truly one of the most difficult times of my life. I wrote an email to a friend about feelings I have been wrestling with tonight. What I needed to write was too personal for this site. Writting out my feelings was all I needed to feel calm again. So there was no need to bother my friend; I did not send the email but saved the draft.

Most of the time, I am doing well and feel upbeat. Occasionally, though, I struggle as I continue to deal with pain, feelings of loss related to leaving Chicago and unemployment. The last is the most difficult, after 2 1/2 years of multiple jobs followed by stretches of down time. Missing Chicago is of lesser concern, but still bothersome. The pain I am working through

I have three jobs that I am under active consideration for and there are more on the horizon. I never give up, and know that something good will happen soon.

At the suggestion of my physical therapist, I joined a health club so that I can exercise in their pool. Before walking/swimming in the pool, I needed a swim suit. I shopped around looking for a bargain. This was the first time I had really looked at women's swim suits as something I would wear. I've never needed one before. Initially, I was surprised at how skimpy they are and thought 'you've got to be kidding'. I finally found one I liked at about the least expensive price around.

This morning, I made it to the pool and had a great time. With my pelvic floor dysfunction, I'm not allowed to do the breaststroke. It's the only way I can swim reasonably well. I managed to do a few laps using my arms alone. During the rest of my pool time, I walked in the water and did leg raises.

After my pool workout, I sat in the whirlpool. I left the club very relaxed but also very wet. I did not know I needed to bring my own towel! Fortunately, our unseasonably warm winter is continuing and the outside temperature is close to 60 F.

Getting out helped relieve some of my cabin fever. Not being able to sit keeps me at home most of the day. When I must drive, I use my custom made cusion but it is not comfortable. The important thing is it elevates my sensitive area so it does not touch the seat surface.

With a sunny, warm day ahead I will drive to the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum to walk. I may also find some early spring flowers to photograph.

I've been to two sessions with my physiscal therapist. I think her work and my exercises are starting to help. Like my gynecologist, she has worked with trans women before. Several had the same pain symptoms as me.

DISCLAIMER: Although I may write some negative things about Minnesota and the Twin Cities, I lived in Minnesota for 9 years before leaving for Chicago. There are many good things about Minnesota. I'm continuing to have trouble, however, readjusting to being here. Part of the problem is that I have never before moved back to a place I left by choice. Another part of this is the "you can never go home again" thing. I cannot fully explain it, but I feel out of place here now. I did not feel that way before leaving.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 24, 2012 9:19 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:04 pm [quote="

Dan

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:54 am ya (imported)" time=

1325148540]

[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Mon Aug 08, 2011 5:45 pm [quote="Danya (imported)" time=

1312511760]

Dan [/quote] ya (imported) wrote:Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:47 pm

Dany [/quote] a (imported) wrote:Sat Jul 30, 2011 9:32 pm [quote="Danya (imported)" time=

1310086080]

Mac [/quote] (imported) wrote:Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:42 pm
44

640]

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jun 20, 2011 5:25 pm 460640]
ter for one of my job applications told me it was goo[quote="Danya (imported)" time

=1302

939780]
d I'm originally from [quote="Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:55 am (imported)" time=1306133220]
the East Coast. The hiring mana[quo

te="Danya (impor
[/quote]
ted)" time=130
[/quote]
2432120]

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 27, 2011 11:44 am 804300]
ger wants someone who will tell things they way they [quote="Danya (imported)" tim

e=130
[
[/quote]
/quote]
2078060]

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 06, 2011 1:22 pm are, rather th

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon May 23, 2011 4:47 pm an saying what he/she thinks the bos

s w[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1301

[/quote]
908800]

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu May 19, 2011 9:25 pm 567520]
ants to hear. The recruiter specifically mentioned ne[quote="Danya (imported)" time

=130
[
[/quote]
/quote]
1635680]

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 06, 2011 1:22 pm 238660]
eding someone who is not Minnesota Nice. Chicagoans t[quote="Danya (imported)" time

=130
[/quote]

[/quote]
1389

Mac (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 16, 2011 7:04 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu May 05, 2011 1:52 pm 680]
end to be upfront and will tell you exactly what they [quote="Danya (imported)" time=

130
[/quote]
086

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 01, 2011 6:31 pm ]
1500]
are thinking and feeling. This can be uncomfortable, [quote="Danya (imported)" time

[/quote]
=129
[/quote]
975

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 16, 2011 7:04 pm 32120]
2700]
but it is in my opinion much more productive. [Anoth[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1
[/quote]
29
[/quote]
9665

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 16, 2011 5:43 pm 78060]
340]
er local recruiter agrees on my take of Chicago deniz[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1
[/quote]
299
[/quote]
611

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:42 pm 08800]
940]
ens, adding that in NYC people say exactly what they [quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1
[/quote]
299
[/quote]
567

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 06, 2011 6:21 pm 35680]
660]
are thinking with an exclamation point. ]

Minnesota Nice can be a pr[quote="

Danya
[/quote]
(i
[/quote]
mpor

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:20 pm 89680]
ted)" time=1299493440]
oblem in the work place when people

Danya (import [/q [/quote] uote] [/quote] ed) wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2011 4:28 pm 61500]
8160]
do not tell you how they really feel about something[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1

29
[/quote]
9226

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 8:08 pm 52700]
380]
. Particularly if they talk about t

heir issue not wi

Danya (im [/quote] ported [/quote] ) wrote: Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:25 pm 65340]
80]
th you, but with so

Danya ( [/quote] imported) wrote:Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:21 pm meone el

se ins

tead. I experien

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:25 pm 11940]
ced this many tim

Da [/quote] nya (imported) wrote:Tue Mar 01, 2011 6:51 pm es during my e

mploym

ent here.

My ph

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 09, 2011 9:09 pm 67660]
ysica

Da [/quote] nya (imported) wrote:Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:29 am l therapist is an out-of-s

tate

transplant, having liv[quote="Danya [quote="Danya (im

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 09, 2011 6:19 am ported)" time=1299493440]
(imported)" time=1298

622300]
ed here 6 years n
[/quote]
[/quote]

ow. She brought up Minnesoata N

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:01 pm 08160]
ice t[quote="Danya (imported)" time=129

8542860]
o me, describing how diff
[/quote]
icult
[/quote]
it was for her to buil[quote="Danya (imported)" time=129
[/quote]
8531[

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:24 pm quote="Danya (imported)" time=1299226380]
760]
d a networ

k of friends here. I
[/quote]
am fortunate in

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:56 pm 6380]
that I [quote="Danya (imported)" t

ime=129
[/quote]
8456160]
already quit[q
[/quote]
uote="Danya (imported)" time=1299046860]
e a few local friends.

I have no doubt [quote="Danya (im
[/quote]
ported)" time=129
[/quote]
7946640]
that ma[quote="Danya (imported)

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:13 pm " time=1298965860]
ny Minnesotans a

re genuinely nice

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:13 pm , as I know q[quot

e="Dan
[/quote]
ya (imported)" time=129
[/quote]
7843

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:29 am 140]
uite a

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:21 pm few who are.

Clearly, I cannot thrive here if [quote="D

anya (imported)" time=

129
[/quote]
724

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 25, 2011 7:25 pm 9920]

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 01, 2011 6:51 pm I continue to feel out of place. It would help if

my [quote="Danya (imported)" time

=129
[/quote]
655

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:29 am 42860]
9920]
pelvic floor pain did not keep me at home much of th[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=
[/quote]
1296
[/quote]
468

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 25, 2011 7:25 pm 531760]
180]
e time. Today, I decided I need to nurture my inner M[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1
[/quote]
29
[/quote]
6300

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:21 pm 56160]
060]
innesotan. If I can find her!

There are certainly [quote="Danya (imported)"

time=
[/quote]
129
[/quote]
5855

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:16 pm 46640]
880]
negatives about Chicagoland, too. Still, another Minn[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=
[/quote]
1295
[/quote]
698

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:16 pm 43140]
860]
esota recruiter recounted how he and his wife had tak[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1
[/quote]
295
[/quote]
602

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:44 pm 49920]
740]
en their kids for a Chicago vacation. They told their [quote="Danya (imported)

" time=
[/quote]
129
[/quote]
551

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:59 pm 559920]
7480]
children that Chicago was what a big city is really [quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1
[/quote]
295
[/quote]
182

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:12 pm 68180]
380]
like. I agree and know I am a big city girl. Their is [quote="Danya (imported)"

time
[/quote]
=129
[/quote]
464

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:32 pm 6300060]
9040]
one very good reason for me to be in the Twin Cities[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=
[/quote]
1294
[/quote]
472

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:03 pm 855880]
940]
, though: better employment prospects. So I need to q[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1
[/quote]
29
[/quote]
4139

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:21 pm 98860]
640]
uite my whining and learn to be happy here, again.

[quote="Danya (imported

)" time
[/quote]
=12
[/quote]
929

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:58 pm 02740]
68260]
__________________________________________________ __________________________

______
[/quote]
__
[/quote]


Th

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:21 pm 17480]
is morning was the first time I felt better after physical therapy! Hooray! This

was my
[/quote]
fourth appointm

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:39 pm 82380]
ent. It may well be another 4 to 6 weeks before I start to notice a large improvemen

t.
[/quote]


At my PT's suggest

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:58 pm 49040]
ion, I bought a kick board to use in the health club pool. Never having used one bef

ore, I
[/quote]
didn't know wha

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:53 pm 72940]
t to expect. What I found is that I couldn't kick much at all. It's likely I need

to po
[/quote]
sition my body be

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:44 pm 4139640]
tter, but so far I haven't managed to do more than remain stationary with my apparen

tly fe
[/quote]
eble kicking.

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:49 pm 92968260]
__________________________________________________ ______________________________

______
[/quote]


I volunteered for a short-term committee assignment

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2011 10:14 pm that involves bring a performer to the Twin Cities who addresses transgender issues throug

h his art. This is a good cause and it will get me out of the house.

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 22, 2010 8:51 am __________________________________________________ _____________________________________

Spring arrives today and, thanks to the extraordinarily warm winter and recent string of record-setting temperatures, the g

I'd like to be able to say I'm getting better adjusted to being back in Minnesota. I suppose I am; things seem better, in some ways, than when I first moved here, although I continue to feel I do not belong. It's not as if I'm not trying. Today, I went to the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum to take photos of the amazingly early spring blossoms. At the entrance gate, I showed the attendant my still active pass

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Dec 10, 2011 8:05 pm [quote="Danya (imported)" tim

e=1301908800]
to [quote="Danya (imported)"
[/quote]
time=1285059840]
the Chicago Botanic Garden. The
[/quote]
arboretum accepts this for admission. He told me that he and his wife love the Chicago Botanic Garden and go there several times a year. Hearing this did not help. I thought taking pictues would help. It did not.

I've have probably written this before. When I moved to Chicago, it was only partly for better job prospects. I did, though, find a contract job after 'only' 2 1/2 months of being there. I also chose the Chicago region because I have always wanted to live there. Being there for roughly 20 months did not change my opinion.

For now, my confidence is down. I think this is mostly because I'm still dealing with often intense pain from p

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 27, 2012 6:58 pm elvic floor dysfunction. I feel

isolated and I cannot get out much to meet current friends and meet new folks. Yes, this is a large part of it. I remember when I moved back to the Twin Cities I felt very hopeful.

I'm trying hard to find a permanent job, and have another phone interview Wednesday. I wonder, though, how I would hold down a job with this pain. I'd have to manage somehow. I hope my physical therapist is correct when she says my pain should start to lessen in a few weeks. I see her tomorrow and will speak with her about where she now see things.

Thought you would have a job by now.

It's good to hear from you Danya..Sorry about your pain issues...but that bit of hope from your last therapy is a good sign.....smooches Jackie

Mac (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:50 pm Thought you would have a job by now.

I thought so, too. As it is, it can take much longer to get hired for a permanent job. In addition, the job market is still somewhat tight here in the Twin Cities. Also, the more yo

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:26 am u make the longer it tends to take to land a job.

It's good to hear from you Danya..Sorry about your pain issues...but that bit of hope from yo

ur last therapy is a good sign.....smooches Jackie

I saw my physical therapist today, and although I know the therapy will never be fun I enjoy seeing her. It's a chance to get out and talk to a real, live person. Today was no exception and we chatted a lot. She added two more exercises to what I do at home, which is fine with me.

At the end of the appointment, I asked how much longe she thought I'd need to see her. For this problem, she typically see patients roughly 12 times. Today was my sixth visit, so I'm halfway there. When we finish, I should be much improved. It will still be several months to be back to normal.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 24, 2012 9:19 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:04 pm [quote="Dan

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:54 am

ya (imported)" time=1325148540]

Dany [/quote] a (imported) wrote:Mon Aug 08, 2011 5:45 pm